How to bring back your ex girlfriend

Relationships often end in a whirlwind of doubt and bitter accusation. You probably said a few things you didnt mean, and she fought back. Now that youve had a little bit of time to think about whats been lost, you know you want her back. Heres how to do that. 

Steps

Part 1: Get Your Life Back Together

1. Get your life back on track. So youve been in a relationship for some time, and maybe your girlfriend has just broken it off. Its a sad and lonely time for you right now, but focus on the things you can change about yourself before you move back on to her.

• Girls want to see self-improvement from guys. Maybe your girlfriend complained about something you did while you two were in your relationship. Maybe theres something that you know you can improve simply because it will make you a better person. Well, nows the time to strike. Cut your video game playing down to a reasonable time, if thats what she wants, or start wearing cleaner clothes when youre around her. If you focus on being a better person while apart, you can go back to her with the "evidence" that youre a new guy.

• Recover emotionally. You dont stand a chance of getting your ex back if youre not emotionally calm and controlled. Women dislike needy, clingy, desperate men - so you need to pull your own life together before attempting to draw her back into it. Like it or not, showing her that you can deal with life on your own will attract her back to you. Thats because girls like men who are self-sufficient and independent. So go out to the gym, visit the movies with friends, or start an adventure. If youre having a great time, shell want to be there with you.

• Get some new clothes. New times call for new duds. Its a subtle change in you, but the importance will be clear to her: your new outer shell will signal deeper changes underneath. Get that new shirt that youve been wanting to buy, or those new pair of jeans. Looking sharp is an important aspect of physical attraction, and if she sees you looking great in unfamiliar clothes, shell sense that theres been forward movement, if not wholesale change.

2. Get the right attitude. Getting your ex-girlfriend back starts with finding the right attitude. Girls, for the most part, want to see mature, independent guys who like to have fun and know what theyre good at. We know thats a lot to work, so start small if youre feeling overwhelmed.

• Stop being jealous. Being jealous will get you nowhere. Jealousy is associated with fear and anxiety, two unattractive traits to have. Plus, what youre non-verbally telling her is that you want to control her. No one wants to be controlled. So learn to fight your jealousy if you can, and focus on being non-threatening. Youll get more bees with honey than you will with vinegar.

• Act like nothing is wrong. Even if your guts are tumbling like clothes in a washing machine, try not to let her know. Shes probably not going to want you back if youre acting depressed, mopey, or sulky. Make sure youre laughingand genuinely trying to have a good time. You might find that youve become a happier person along the way. If you are feeling depressed, surround yourself with friends or family. Dont wait alone in a corner and just hope for her to come back to you.

• Develop a playful sense of humor. What do girls say they look for most in guys? A sense of humor and a playful attitude. These two traits are attractive because they tell other people that were youthful and not aggressive. So learn a few jokes if you can (friends are always good to try them out on) and keep the ones that work and throw away the ones that dont. Learn to make fun of yourself a little, in a confident way — not a mopey way. And, for goodness sake, be playful, especially when youre around her. Tease her lovingly, or play a small prank on a friend. Youll notice the difference in her.

Part 2: Set The Stage

1. Leave her alone. At least for a little while, give her some time to think about the relationship. If you had a great relationship, shell think about all the good things that you did for her and feel the absence of you in her life.

• Cut off all communication. Maybe you dont talk to her for a couple weeks, or perhaps a month. This is tough and it will hurt, but really its killing her more. This will also let your tempers cool down if things were heating right when you broke up.

• You need to give her space for three reasons: 1) People simply need space; if you cant give her any space, maybe thats something you can work on to show her that youve changed. 2) Shell get an opportunity to realize how good you are; not that she doesnt know this already, but she may not feel it in her bones. 3) Youll show her how independent you are on your own; the "rebel" is so attractive to women because hes totally on his own and doesnt need other people.

 2. Start talking to another girl. Dont do anything with her, but strike up a friendship. You want to raise your own stock by showing her that other girls like you and are attracted to you.

• Dont get this step confused with pursuing another girl. You want to hang out and talk, do fun things together, but not hook up. If you hook up with another girl, your chances of getting back together with your ex are greatly diminished.

• Go out with a group of girls. Show your ex that attentive girls like being around you. These girls will be your wing-women. If you can pull together a big group of popular, intelligent, smart girls, chances are your ex is going to feel more interested, maybe without even noticing it.

3. Tap your inner alpha male. The alpha male, in nature, is the male in a group of primates that has the highest rank, and gets his pick of the females. 

• Most girls are attracted to the alpha male for deep biological reasons: They believe he can provide for them better, protect them better, and give her biologically fit children. Even if you dont think that alpha males are your exs type, subtle changes might work on her: pump out your chest a bit, make an effort to work out your arms and thighs, and project strength.

Part 3: Make The Move

1. Give her an apology. Whether you broke up with her, or she broke up with you, an apology is almost always in order. An apology shows her that youre capable of swallowing your ego, and that you care enough to tell her you were wrong. If done correctly, an apology will work wonders.

• Send her flowers. Girls love flowers, for reasons men still dont know. They die after a week, and they just sit around gathering dust. Well, odds are your ex probably loves them, because they smell pretty and look good and she gets to show them to her friend and brag about how much someone cares for her. You want to be that someone.

• Send her a letter. Girls also love letters, because they take a lot of time and you have to express your feelings. Start off by saying something like: "I know this letter doesnt fix whats broken between us, and maybe it never will. But I want you to know that I care deeply about you, and I always will. That part has never changed. The part thats changed is that I realize how stupid I was to let you go."

• Tell her in person. Set a time to meet in a public place, or a place that you know shell feel comfortable in. When the time is right, say: "I know I made some mistakes during our relationship, and I wanted to take full responsibility for those. I shouldnt have done [whatever it is you did] to you, and I feel horrible now. But the biggest mistake I made was losing you. I dont expect anything from you, I just want you to know that."

2. Slowly work up to friendship. Maybe some trust was broken in your relationship, and now its time for you to start repairing it. Trust for girls is a big thing. You want to show her that she can trust you again, that you are worthy of her trust.

• Do something nice for her without expecting her to pay you back. If shes studying late for an exam, pop by with her favorite tea or coffee and let her know that you know shes going to kill it tomorrow. If one of her friends gets in an accident, stop by and pay your respects (the friend will definitely let your ex know you stopped by). If your ex mentions she wanted to see a movie, buy her two tickets for her and her friend to see, and dont butt in. Your time will come soon.

• Go out for coffee or tea together. Ride your bikes into town. Hang out at the pool. Have conversations about things both of you find funny, or like talking about. Remember to act confident, be funny, and get that playfulness out so that she can see it.

3. Tell her you still have feelings for her. Once youve apologized and become her friend again, you can finally tell her you want her back. Try to pick a romantic spot to do this, and try to tell her when its just you two. It wont hurt if youre looking your best.

• Be honest about how you feel, within reason. Dont tell her what she might have done wrong in the relationship. Instead, focus on you. Let her know that youve thought a lot about where things went wrong, and show her all the ways in which youve changed. Tell her how youve become more patient, more forgiving, more aware of your own shortcomings, and be sure to back it up with action. If you say youve become more forgiving, be able to show her that youre not as quick to point out other peoples faults.

• You can say something like: "After we broke up, I realized I was looking for love in the wrong places. I realized that you gave me exactly what I need, and its really a shame that I had to realize that after we broke up. But I realize it now, and Id be stupid not to try to get you back, because youre exactly what I need."

• Or you can say something like: "You may not like it, but most of what I do now, I do it for you. Youve made a better person. I understand what it means to care for someone now that Ive been with you. I want to share that with you again, this time better. Because I cant deny that I still have feelings for you. Id be lying to myself and lying to the world."

• Assure her that you both can fix the issues that led to your breakup. Remember why you guys broke up in the first place, so you can learn from your own mistakes. Have a plan ready, and discuss that plan with her. Its no use in getting back together if you go through the same issues all over again. If you didnt listen to her feelings enough, be sure that youre listening when you tell her you like her. If you didnt get along with her friends, make an extra effort to get along with them. Have a plan to attack whats likely to go wrong, and youll impress the socks off of her.

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Tips To Get Exgirlfriend Back

Regardless of whether your girlfriend broke up with you or if the decision to end your relationship was mutual, you may be feeling that the break-up was a mistake.  It isn’t unusual to regret breaking up with your girlfriend; nor is it unusual to want to get exgirlfriend back.  These feelings of wanting to rekindle a past relationship can occur shortly after a break-up or they may spring up several weeks or months afterwards.
If you want to get your ex back, you are going to want to try some of the following tips.  Because every break-up and every relationship is different, some of these may not apply to your situation; however, be sure to look all of the tips over thoroughly.  If you do not approach the idea of reuniting with your ex cautiously and with care, you may blow your chances of getting her back.

Try these tips as you work toward to get your ex back:

• Admit your fault in the break-up, as well as anything you did wrong during the relationship.  Although even the most heartfelt apology is unlikely to get your ex to run back into your arms, it is a good first step.

• Be kind whenever you see her.  Speak nicely, even though you may be hurting and angry—you need to rise above those feelings and understand her needs at the moment.  This will show her that you still care about her.

• Be an excellent listener whenever she talks to you.  Let her express herself and do not interrupt.  Unless she asks for your opinion, do not tell her what she should do or how she should act.

• Think about what you did during the relationship that may have helped to lead up to the break-up.  Work on changing these habits.  For example, if you determine that your ex was likely troubled by your lack of career goals, perhaps you can visit a career counselor and find a job path in which you are interested.  Your ex will see that you are working on changing the habits she disliked--and this will make you attractive to her.
Just as there are suggestions of what you should try, there are also some things you should definitely not do as you try to get exgirlfriend back.  Avoid doing any of these:

• Do not appear needy or emotionally desperate when you see or speak with your ex.  This is not attractive at all.

• Do not follow the cues you see in the movies--sending flowers and serenading her at her workplace are sure to annoy her, not attract her.

• Do not go out with other women if you want to get your ex back.  This sends the message that you do not miss your ex and that you are over the past relationship.  And even if you are careful, your ex will find out that you have seen other women.

By following these tips, you should be able to work towards to get your ex back.  Good luck!
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How to Make Out With a Girl in 40 seconds or less For Real

If you’ve ever seen a guy in a bar walk up to a girl he didn’t know and make out with her almost immediately, it can be a completely mind-blowing experience. It may seem like it’s magical or out of reach – a special ability or super-power that someone is born with.

But it’s not. And it can be broken down into a few simple steps you can follow in order to make the same thing happen for you. In this article, I’m going to break down those steps.
The first step is to realize that about 90% of the difference between someone who’s really good with women and someone who’s not so good or mediocre with women, is the ability to spot a woman who’s ready to make out.

How to Make Out With a Girl ?

I know it sounds kind of crazy at first, but it’s true. If you walk into a bar and go up to any woman without knowing what signs to look for, your odds of success go WAY down.

You must know how to spot that woman who’s already in this “make-out ready” state, so you can walk up and be “that guy.”

Don’t buy into the myth that women don’t want this to happen.

Women are as sexual (if not more sexual) than guys are. Most of the time, this “turbo” make-out session never happens, because so many guys are afraid to go for it. And when this doesn’t happen, the girls end up going home alone or worse.. staying being kind of mean to a lot of guys in the bar/being resentful and angry because no one’s approaching them.

By putting this technique into practice, You want to discover how to see the women who you’re able to make out with in 40 seconds or less in the first place.

There are a few excellent indicators that will (especially in a bar atmosphere) tell you if a woman is game, or ready for an instant make-out session.

What To Look For

The first indicator is a woman looking down often. When a woman looks down often, she is accessing her emotions.

Let me explain… When we look in different directions, we access different parts of our brain. These are called “Eye Accessing Cues.” When a woman is in a bar setting and looking down, she’s accessing her emotional brain.

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If she makes eye contact with you, looks down then back up again, she’s saying: “I have an emotional response to you looking at me and I’m looking down.” And if she tilts her head down as well (and doesn’t just use her eyes to look down), she’s physically dropping herself a little bit lower and showing submission.

This gives you the ability to walk up and be the dominant man.

Now, if she looks at you, smiles and doesn’t look away, this could be a lot more difficult situation. Socially, she’s meeting you head on, and not showing immediate submission.

Women who you’re going to be able to walk up to and make out with in 40 seconds or less should automatically take the submissive role as a woman. That’s one quality which shows you’ll be able to quickly make out with her.

Another quality is that she’s actively looking around to make eye contact. This is crucial. A woman who is engaged with someone specifically and she’s not looking away is not going to be as easy to seduce in 40 seconds or less. It’s going to take much longer.

Again, you’re going to have to play a totally different kind of game when you walk up. You can’t just walk up and make out with her.

So instead, if you see a woman who is in a conversation but she’s constantly looking around and trying to make eye contact with a lot of people, this is probably a very, very likely opportunity for you and that’s a woman you can walk up to and immediately become sexual with.

Other traits are revealed in the way they’re moving and how they’re dressed. Let’s say she’s standing with her feet about shoulder-width apart. It’s less likely that a woman standing like this is going to be available for you to walk up and dominate. That’s because she’s standing in a dominant position, with stronger body language and she’ll probably be a lot more resistant.

Instead, you want to find a woman who takes up less space. She has her legs closer together and seems to be outside of a group, looking around a little bit.

Another thing is the way she’s dressed. If she’s dressed in a way that’s super flashy and attracting lots of attention, she probably isn’t the kind of girl you can walk up to and make out with in 40 seconds.

This kind of women is looking for attention – not for someone to dominate them. What you want is someone who’s in between “I don’t care” and “Stare at my tits, bitch!” Somewhere between wearing sweatpants with an elastic waistband to the bar and done up really, really beautiful and sexy with a really low-cut shirt. You want to find someone who’s in between those two extremes.

A lot of women who are on vacation fall into this realm. They don’t want to over dress or under dress, and don’t know how the bar atmosphere is going to be. They’ll usually come in open-minded, and start looking around trying to make connections. This is an excellent situation for you (and her, of course).

That’s what to look for and how you spot her in the first place. If you see some of those, you want to watch her for a second. If you think that she is the kind of person you can walk up to and do this, then proceed.

If not, I’d actually suggest you proceed anyway, just to see what happens.

Next, right after you get that done and you’ve seen your girl (there are probably three or four of these girls in a bar at any given moment) you’re going to walk up and start the scary part.
What To Do
This is where the most powerful kind of frame control comes in. It’s very, very important that you understand how to control someone else’s frame if you want to come across like you’re a pro at this.

By “frame,” I basically mean their “reality.” You’re controlling what they experience. You have to be able to stay in control of that experience in order to really bring her to the level where she feels comfortable making out with you immediately.

I’m going to give you a very quick, punchy, fast way of doing this. I’ll explain as quick as possible; that way you can go straight out and try it…

Here’s what I would say, word-for-word… Walk up to a girl, when you get up to her and right when she makes eye contact with you, I want you to SLOWLY put your finger up by your lips and say this, “Shhh?”

Then slow your speech pattern down and deepen your vocal tonality. And immediately say, “Wait just one moment.”

You can also say, “Stop for one minute.” I suggest using a bit of NLP here. Whenever someone hears “stop,” “wait,” or “don’t,” they immediately register whatever comes after that.

So if I say, “Don’t think of a black cat,” what do you do? Immediately, you think of a black cat and whatever version of one you have in your head.

So if I said, “Don’t try to make out with me,” or “Don’t make out with me right now,” girls are going to be consciously hearing, “Don’t make out with me,” but their subconscious minds will be hearing, “Make out with me right now!”

You’re attempting to sort of use real-life Inception to get making-out with you to be HER idea. She should be thinking, “I should make out with this guy.”

Now, during frame control you’ll be using a lot of these subconscious triggers in order to get this to go as fast as possible. Please only use this for good. There are lots of evil ways to use this.

Don’t try to seduce women who don’t want to be seduced. Again, that’s one of the reasons why it’s important that you notice a woman who really does want to be seduced by a man.

So to recap so far: you walk up, you put your finger over your lips and you tell her to “Shhh” for a second and then you say a sentence that starts with “don’t” or “wait” or “stop.”

My typical is “Don’t worry… right now.” That’s all I say. And I slow that speech down ? “Don’t?worry?……. right now.”

Then I go right into the next statement, which is, “You and I are going to have a secret. We’re going to secretly kiss and no one will know.”

And as I’m saying this, I’m leaning in… and you’ll be doing the same when you do it. You’re leaning in ever… so… slowly. At the same time, you’re looking from her eyes down to her lips and back up to her eyes again.

This is called “Triangulating.” Count to three looking at her eyes, then look down to her lips and count to two, look back up and count to three, look down and count to two… etc. Do that about three or four times as you’re talking.

This can be a lot to remember, so you may want to practice it a little bit. I wouldn’t expect you’re going to get it perfect the first time.

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So again, you say, “We’re going to have a secret. We’re going to kiss and no one is going to know.” From here on out, you’re really just filling up space with words as you’re leaning in so you’re still controlling the interaction.

So you’re going to very, very slowly, take your right or left hand ? whichever one is more accessible ? and reach around her back. You won’t pull her in toward you or anything yet, just touch her very lightly.
Signs That It’s Working
Is she looking at your lips? If she’s looking at your lips, you have a green light to go forward. If she’s looking at your eyes, you may want to wait a second, or turn around and turn back again and try it again.

This resets the meter in her mind, so to speak. When you turn around and turn back again, most people consider this to be a fresh start in a conversation. It’s a strange loop-hole in psychology.

For some reason, that’s how we are as humans. When someone turns away then turns back, we give them another chance moving forward. So if you’re getting some resistance, turn around, turn back, smile, and continue. If she gives you resistance again, you probably should back off and find another woman.

If she’s looking at your lips and seems to be very comfortable and excited, then proceed. You’ll move in very closely and speak almost directly into her ear.
!Important!
In a loud environment like a bar, you’ll want to speak louder, but don’t raise your voice. Make your voice very low so that you have to be very, very close to her ear for her to hear.

Then you’re going to keep talking… What I usually say is, “No one is going to see this. It’s just going to be our little secret. I promise I won’t tell anybody only if you promise that you won’t tell anybody either.”

As I’m saying this into her ear, I make sure that she’s feeling my breath on her neck. So I’m sort of breathing out a little bit more than normal as I’m speaking so she can feel that hot air on her neck.

This usually gets a very visceral, deep, sexual response from women when you do this.

As you’re speaking really close to her ear, you’ll, very slowly, press your cheek against hers as you’re talking. Then you’ll move you head over so that your mouth is closer to hers, and then… you’ll start kissing her.

And if you do this right, you start out with just one soft peck… then go straight into making out. It may not seem like it in this description, but 40 seconds is a long time. This process can happen in a lot less than 40 seconds – I’ve done it in less time, and I’ve seen other guys do it, too.
Practice It
What I want you to do is practice this approach. Maybe go for a minute or two at first, and then get to where you can do this in about 40 (or even 30) seconds.

You won’t use this tactic all the time. But when the opportunity is right, it’s really good to have this in your seduction arsenal. You want to make sure that you have the right kind of tools for the job, so to speak.

Whenever you see a girl who’s in that state and ready to be seduced, if you beat around the bush, engage in small talk or generally waste time, she’ll be turned off and you’ve lost a golden seduction opportunity.

Instead, when you spot this, you want to be able to see her, know that that’s what she wants, go in, and give it to her immediately. This is the major difference between guys who are rock stars at walking up and seducing a woman… and guys who wish that they were great at quickly seducing a woman.

There are a lot of other success factors as well. There are techniques on how to speak with the right tonality… how to touch her that allows her to feel comfortable and doesn’t turn off any of her weird alert switches… specific NLP triggers that you can use to connect and make sure she’s totally in your zone.

What’s taken me from a normal dude to a well-respected dating coach, is knowing a lot of short-cuts like this and knowing when to bring them out. And these short-cuts can also improve your game with women.

Remember these characteristics in women who want to be seduced, and remember ? it is possible to make out with a woman in 40 seconds or less.

Discover my other top 3 “Seduction Secrets” in this special video presentation.

>> Click here to visit the The Tao of Badass official site <<

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Praying to get your ex back Pray to God for getting back together

We have a new video! It features our nine prayers for getting back an ex, set to music.

You can watch it on our main site, HelpGettingBackTogether.com.

Here is a sample of one of the prayers:

O God, almighty and all-knowing,
help me in my time of need.
Open my eyes to behold
the true heart of the one I love,
so that I may understand
what is required of me
to win back the affection and intimacy
we used to share.

Amen.

You can also watch it offsite at YouTube.com.

Comment and let us know what you think!
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Apology letter to ex after a breakup

I wish there were more sample letters like this out there. Its hard to figure out what you want to say to your ex, especially when you want to get back together.

Even harder, if youve been a little out of control -- like if youve been texting too often, or calling or driving by. You need to put a stop to all of that, and go NC (no contact) for a while until youre thinking straight again.

And you certainly need to apologize to your ex.

Even if you dont have anything to apologize for (and, well, are you sure about that?) a letter similar to this is still a good idea, to show that youre on board with breaking up. You wont get your ex back if you resist accepting the fact that you got dumped, no matter how unfair it seems.

But... to have to compose a letter when your heads a mess isnt easy. I think this example letter to an ex would be good for most breakup circumstances. You might have to change some parts, but its a good start.

-- Kit.

Letter of Apology to an Ex Lover - What to Say and How to Say It

By Dan K. Jenkins

When you look for advice on the internet about how to get your ex back, you discover that step one is to write a letter.

And you learn that it has to be a handwritten letter -- not typed, and not an email.

The purpose of the letter is to let your ex know youre sorry for whatever you did, and that you agree that breaking up is a good idea. This letter sets the stage for everything youll be doing afterwards, to try to get back together.

Why apologize in writing?

A hand-written letter, sent in a hand-addressed envelope, is the most personal form of delayed communication you can use.

Spoken communication, in person or over the phone, is too immediate. With immediate communication, some response is required -- but your ex might feel threatened, or feel like theres not enough time to think of the right response.

Text messages and email are too casual. Even a typed or printed letter feels distant, compared to the intimacy of a handwritten letter you took the time to pen yourself. Your letter to your ex absolutely must be written by hand, and written on paper, not on a card. A card is, once again, too casual.

When to apologize?

Send your letter as soon as possible, but be sure to wait until after you have thought about your situation, and think you understand what your ex is feeling.

While you compose your letter, you should feel regret, not anger. If you are still angry, then it is too soon to write a letter of apology. It is too soon to say you agree with the breakup.

You need to be certain about what you are apologizing FOR. For example:

• Did you hurt someones feelings?



• Is someone angry at you?



• Is someone afraid of you?



• Are you ashamed of something you said or did?



• Did you lie, steal, or cheat?



• Did you forget something important?

Even if it was an accident, you should apologize. Even if it felt justified at the time, you should apologize. Even if you know that in the same circumstances, you would do the same thing again -- you still ought to apologize.

What should you say in your letter?

Your letter of apology to your lover needs to communicate two things: That you are sorry for whatever you did that caused your breakup, and that you agree that breaking up is a good idea.

Dont spend too much time explaining why you did what you did. It wont help, especially if it was a repeat occurrence, or if you did it on purpose.

Dont be funny, and dont be crude or obscene.

Dont ask for an acknowledgement -- no, "Let me know if you got this" or anything like that. You should be prepared not to hear back.

Example apology letter

Here is a sample letter to an ex girlfriend...

Dear Amy,

I have been thinking a lot about how I hurt you, and I want to say Im sorry. I understand why you dont want to be with me any more. I agree it is a good idea.

Being away from you is hard on me, but I guess that after time goes by I wont miss you so much. I hope, anyway, because I would hate to feel like this forever.

I know it was the last straw. I know you think you cant trust me any more, after what I did. But please believe my apology. You mean more to me than anyone else does. You are the one I love.

Maybe after you have had some time away from me, you will want to talk to me again. If you ever need me, I will be there for you.

Love,
Kevin


Learn more about getting back together with your ex. Visit The Online Guide to Getting Back Together and find advice from experts on how to get your ex to come back to you.

This online guide will also lead you to professionally-written books with step-by-step instructions for getting back together with an ex.

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Relationship Breakups What You Need To Know

Relationship breakups are a terrible thing, and are devastating for most people. What most people want, more than anything else, is to find someone to spend their lives with, someone who will always be there for you. Thinking you have this and then losing it is one of the worst events most people will suffer in their life.
After relationship breakups, people tend to suffer from the same kind of emotional healing process that people who have suffered the death of a loved one. This isnt surprising, since the death of a relationship is very much like the death of someone. But unlike the death of a person, sometimes something can be done to take back the death of a relationship.

Relationship breakups do not have to be forever in many cases. Far more relationships can be saved than those that are permanently destroyed. What you have to know and understand is the various kinds of relationship breakups that exists and what you can do about them.

This article is going to give you a brief look into the kinds of relationship breakups and what strategies youll need to undertake to fix them. Not all relationships can be repaired, and not all of them should be, but most of them can. You just need to know the right techniques for each kind of breakup.

The Abusive Relationship Breakups
This is a breakup that should stay a break up. Unlike the other relationship breakups, this one can and should stick. Theres a chance that you may be considering returning to someone who physically or mentally abused you, but you need to stick with this kind of breakup. No one should take being abused.

The Mutual Breakup
Sometimes, both people in the relationship may want out and the relationship ends by mutual consent. Now, if this is truly a mutual breakup, theres a good chance that this is another relationship that shouldnt be repaired. On the other hand, if it was just called a relationship and was really one of the next two kinds of relationship breakups, thats a different matter entirely.

They Broke Up with You
This is usually the most hurtful kind of break up. If this has happened to you, what you need to do first is figure out exactly why the relationship ended. Once you know this, you have to decide if what went wrong is something you could or should fix. If it is something you can and should fix, then this needs to be your starting point.

You Broke Up with Them
Sometimes, we break up with people and then realize weve thrown away something good. When this happens, the first thing you need to do is reestablish trust. This means that youre going to essentially start the relationship over. Start slow, with coffee dates or something similar, and then work your way slowly towards repairing the relationship.

No matter which of the relationship breakups youve experienced, you need to be aware that help is out there. You just need to find the right kind of advice and instruction to allow you to mend feeling and repair your relationship and get your ex back.
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I Want My Ex Back How Can I Get Them Back

So youve been on your own for a couple of weeks now and you wake up one morning with this burning thought in your mind “I want my ex back!”  Which is a pretty normal reaction if you find that youre still in love with your ex.  What is also natural is that you will find you have no real idea how to go about getting them back.  So you end up looking around for help in order that you dont make a complete mess in your attempt to win them back.
Well first of all, before you go off trying to get your ex back, make sure that youre not going through the natural grieving process that comes at the end of a relationship.  At the end of most  relationships there is a period when the hurt and missing is so intense that it is akin to the grieving process.  During this process it is very natural to have the feeling “I want my ex back!”and for that feeling to be all consuming.
This is because you are grieving for all the dreams and hopes you had that were wrapped up in your ex love and your ex relationship.  So make real sure that youre not going through this process before you attempt to get them back.
Assuming that it is more than natural grieving, you are now ready to make good on your thought that “I want my ex back!” your next move should always be to figure out what went wrong. 
This is important, because unless you take the time to go over the mistakes that you might have made, then getting back with your ex will only eventually lead to the same break down in the relationship as before and that will do neither of you any good.  So own your mistakes and anything that you might have done wrong to contribute to the break down of the relationship.
A vital tip to remember is not to focus on what you believe your ex might have done wrong.  Let them take care of their stuff for now and you take care of your own.  There is time in the future for the two of you to dig around in the collective causes, but for now, you must work on your own issues and mistakes.  
If youre sincerely clear that “I want my ex back!” then all that has been outlined is really the start that you need to take to get back with your ex and to secure a future for the two of you that will not fall into the same mistakes and pitfalls of before.
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Series Communicating with your ex Part 1

Ive been thinking lately about how people communicate with their exes.

For the most part, people dont. Exceptions are when they work together, have classes together, go to church together, etc.

Another exception is when one of the partners wants to get back together. Usually, if someone wants to get an ex back, there will be communication. In fact, there may be all too much communication.

The last exception arises when a couple has children. Here is an article I found, about communicating in that situation. -- Kit.

Communicating With Your Ex - Letting Go of the Last Word

By Mary Wollard

You probably all have someone in your family who has to have the last word in any discussion or argument. Maybe your whole family is like this, making family get-togethers challenging at best. In the case of email, this can lead to back-and-forth messages that belabor a subject way longer than necessary, with each new message escalating the conflict higher and higher.

If you are someone who needs to have the last word and your communications with your ex are difficult, be aware that this is only adding to the conflict. It will take great restraint on your part to break the pattern. After all, it took a long time to cultivate the need to have the last word and it will take a long time to feel comfortable not having the last word. The only way to break the cycle is to just resist the urge to say one more thing.

Start with a conversation that you feel neutral about, and just try not responding to the last thing the other person said. As you become more comfortable with this in relatively unimportant conversations, then you can move on to practicing in areas that are more important. Work slowly, but work at it constantly. It will be hard work because this is a very hard habit to break, but the rewards will be great.

If it is the other parent who needs the last word, know that it is not a sign of weakness on your part to let him or her have it. Know that this communication pattern in the other person started way before you ever came into the picture and likely affects every relationship they have. But you can still take responsibility for your part in these never-ending discussions.

Even if the other person hasnt yet done the work necessary to end this communication merry-go-round, you can. If you follow the steps above, the cycle will stop. Start with a subject that is not highly charged, and just let the conversation go when you have said what you have to say.

The important thing is to make the decision to break this communication cycle. If you do, I guarantee you will feel more powerful in the relationship, not less powerful.

© 2009, Mary Wollard, J.D., Family Solutions Center, LLC

Mary A. Wollard, JD, is an attorney, mediator, and arbitrator with over 20 years experience in solving the legal issues of divorce, parenting (custody), marital property and support. In addition to helping families through mediation and arbitration, Ms. Wollard provides parenting coordination and decision-making services to families when on-going conflict prevents them from fully implementing their parenting plan after divorce. Visit http://www.cofamilysolutions.com/downloads.htm for free downloadable worksheets you can use to organize your familys transition.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mary_Wollard
http://EzineArticles.com/?Communicating-With-Your-Ex---Letting-Go-of-the-Last-Word&id=2193378

---

Series continues with Part 2 and Part 3.
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Rebound Relationships How To Improve The Chances Of Success

People often say rebound relationships don’t work. I don’t agree as there are plenty of happy couples out there who met shortly after breaking up with someone else.

So what defines a rebound relationship? Usually it is where someone starts going out with another person very soon after leaving or being left by a former lover. If you have met somebody who seems to tick all the boxes you were looking for in a partner, I certainly would not dump them.  Yes, they could dump you, but so could anyone new that you meet; so why worry about it. You could just as easily be the person they have been looking for.

Relationships break down for all sorts of reasons. It is actually more common for two people to grow apart rather than separate due to an affair or similar reason. If your current partner split from his/her ex, they did it for a reason. If they had been together for a long time, they probably grew apart. Or they may have realised that once the initial attraction had worn off, they were not compatible enough to sustain a long term relationship.

If your new lover has just recently rejoined the single scene, you do need to be a little careful. But you would proceed slowly when dating any new person; wouldn’t you?  Try to find out why they split with their partner, but for heaven’s sake, don’t make them feel like they are being interrogated. Men in particular are very slow to speak about their feelings. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, do not jump to the conclusion that he doesn’t like you or find you attractive. 

I would also advise against asking to see a picture of the former partner. You do not want to start comparing yourself to them and it is difficult not to do this when you know what they look like. If you are part of the same social circle, it could be even harder not to draw comparisons. If you don’t do it yourself, you may find some of your mutual friends do. Try to discourage/ignore these conversations as they are unhelpful. Nobody knows what  happened between a couple other than those two people.
 
If you are the one on the rebound you need to be sure of your motivation for getting involved. Are you looking for a short fling or a long term love affair?  Whatever you do, don’t get involved with another man to make your ex jealous or for revenge. It rarely works and it isn’t fair to play with the new persons emotions.
You may find, just like I did, that your rebound relationship never ends and in fact turns into the love affair of the century. We all need some more fun in our life so try to enjoy yourself with your new partner and see where it leads.  Whoever says you should avoid rebound relationships is missing out on a whole lot of fun.
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My Boyfriend Dumped Me Picking Myself Back Up

“I feel like dying because my boyfriend dumped me!” It isnt the end of the world and it isnt even close. Even though it hurts, it isnt going to kill you. This is something that you can and will get over. It will take some work, some help, some readjusting in the way you think, and some time. Be sure that just because you are upset that “my boyfriend dumped me” doesnt mean that life stops, life goes on. Be ready for it.

Getting past the idea that “my boyfriend dumped me” isnt going to be easy but it also isnt going to be impossible. You are going to have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and move along. The alternative means that you will be stuck wallowing in your own misery. If that is no life that you want to have then do what it takes to get out of it. It takes work to climb back out of the pit but the work is worth it.

Dont be afraid to ask for help but be careful where it is that you ask for it. If you are battling depression because of it, seek professional help. This doesnt mean that you are going crazy, depression is something that many people deal with so dont worry about people judging you. Do try to beat it, though.

It may be, though, that you have good friends or family that can help you out while you are trying to deal with that fact that “my boyfriend dumped me.” Be careful to not lay too much on these people, though, and when you ask for advice, follow it. If you are constantly complaining about your life and the situation but arent following up on what advice is given, they are going to reach a point that you dont want. They are going to get tired of you and cut you off or seriously consider it.

You should also re-frame the way you look at the situation. Try looking at it from a different angle or perspective. While you may see it as the end of the world, from another persons perspective, it may not be. Try to find that other persons perspective. Try to see what good it is that you have to offer someone. What are your best qualities? For sure there is going to be someone out there who will appreciate them. Wait for them to come along.

While you are waiting, find some way to improve yourself. Find something that you have long dreamed about doing and throw your life into it. If there is something non-romantic that you have longed to achieve in life, pursue it. Do you want to make yourself better in anyway, now is the time to do it. Try to find someway to use this time and that negative energy you have and do something positive with it.

The end result will be a happier you. Once you have found that happiness, it will become magnetic and draw in the person that you dream of, the one that makes you smile and makes you feel like you belong. It will make you look back on this dark time in your life when you were crying because “my boyfriend dumped me” and see it as one of the best things that ever happened to you.
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How to know if your ex girlfriend wants you back

Have you recently broken up with your girlfriend and trying to win her back? Do you still find it difficult accepting that she is gone? Is it still difficult for you believing that this was someone who not too long ago, couldn’t just live without you but today seems doesn’t even give a hoot about your existence? Are you contemplating trying to win her back or lacking the courage and or knowledge to get her back?

Fortunately, you should realize that the chances of your getting her back are alive and well. That is, if she is in any way displaying any of the following signs which generally indicate that she still have an interest in getting back together with you. All you need to do is to be tactful in how you handle the situation as you attempt winning her back for good.

1. Constantly tries to keep in touch

Is she always calling you, texting or emailing you to check on how you are doing? While at the surface it might seem normal for her to want know how you are doing, you should be able to tell when she wants to keep you in her daily life. If she was really over you, she wouldn’t be that bothered.

Things are this point can get a little tricky, because if you allow the situation to persist, you may from being a temporary ex boyfriend become her permanent friend, a situation you really don’t want to get into. So while not ignoring her altogether which you really can’t afford to do, you should keep a healthy distance.

2. Becomes jealous at the mention of other girls

It is a good sign of her lingering interest in you if your ex girlfriend reacts to certain things you do or say. Of particular interest here is she often gets jealous whenever you unintentionally talk about other girls. The later indicates that she is not fully ready to let go of you yet even when she apparently appears not wanting to take you back. She still believes that you “belong” to her to a certain degree.

As a caution, try and appreciate the fact that she still has feelings for you which present an opportunity for you to get back into her life, rather than abusing the privilege and purposely trying to get her to become jealous. Remember that she still has the upper hand and that you are not yet emotional strong enough to start playing mind games with her.

3. Tries to make you feel jealous

As if her getting jealous is not enough, a sure sign that you are well on target to getting her back will be if see seem to be trying to make you feel jealous by equally mentioning other guys. However, most guys at this stage might wrongly interpret this as a sign that she might have moved on.

You need to really study her body language at this stage more so if she has shown any previous sign of jealousy as aforementioned. You must remain calm and calculated, as this will make her to try harder in getting you to react thus disarming her.

4. Excessive flirting and unbecoming conduct

This is a simple sign that there is still some element of attraction between you and her. While these signs might seem like an open invitation to get back into the relationship, it is however better to give her some space.

While the attraction still appears to be there it is not enough to keep her, let her come to her own conclusion on your ability to give her what she wants. If you jump in too early, you risk blowing it all away.

5. Keeps “Loose Ends”

How much of her stuffs are still in your apartment? Why does she keep dropping by every now and then to pick up one thing or the other? Simple, by leaving some of her stuff in your place, she has an open invitation to come to your place on a regular basis. Your ex girlfriend is simply not ready to let go of you yet.
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Is it easier to get your girlfriend back than to find someone new

Here is an excerpt from a new article:

I can tell that being in a relationship was a large source of Davids self-esteem. Secretly, he was proud of being a "regular guy" who had a girlfriend. It made him feel like a man.

Now, he thinks his male friends see him as a failure for getting dumped. He feels embarrassed about it.

He wants to get back the security and status of being in a relationship — but to him, getting back a woman he has already been intimate with seems a whole lot easier than trying to meet new women, and get close to one of them.

Read the full text here, about why for some guys, getting a girlfriend back is the easier option: Is it easier to get your girlfriend back than to find someone new?
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Why Men Leave Their Wives

Todays women can find it challenging sometimes to keep their marriages intact and happy. Many women wonder why men leave their wives and what they can do to make sure it doesnt happen to them.
The truth of the matter is that our society has made it very difficult for men and women to find long term loving relationships.  Why? Because the rules our society has adopted are based on inaccurate information.
One of the most obvious misconception that is pervasive throughout our society is the idea that men only want sex and/or have a much higher sex drive than women.  The truth is that men and women have similar sex drives but men have been encouraged, by society, to fulfill their needs while women have been discouraged from having sex until they are married. 
This leads to many misunderstandings between men and women and how they approach their relationships.  It might mean a man will be more tempted to cheat on his wife because after all, its in his nature.  And it could mean that a women uses sex with the hopes of keeping her husband in love with her so he will stay in the marriage.
If we really got to the bottom of things though we would understand that men and women want basically the same things in a relationship.  Both want to feel loved, respected, and desired by their partners.  When you break it down like that it doesnt really seem all that hard, does it?
If you want to keep your marriage strong try to meet your husbands needs...all of them, not just sexually. A word of caution here though.  Because of the way our society has told us to behave women have the tendency to think that they have to meet their husbands needs even if that means ignoring their own.  No! All that will do is make you resentful and bitter and that wont keep a marriage intact.
While its important to try to meet your husbands needs it cant be done to the detriment of your own.  Dont put your wants and needs on hold to satisfy your husband, youll be unhappy, hell be unhappy (and bored) and the marriage wont last.  For a marriage to thrive both parties need to be happy, healthy, stable, and have their needs being met on a regular basis.
So for any women who wants to know why men leave their wives its usually because his needs arent being met, and I dont just mean his sexual needs.  I mean on some level he doesnt feel like you love, desire, or respect him and he will try to find someone who will.
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How to quickly get your ex girlfriend back

When reality sets in, and relationships end, you are girl may still have lingering questions if its really the end between the two of you.  Sometimes guys just cannot admit to themselves that their girlfriend dumped them and think that its never working out.  Well at least that was how I felt before.  Amidst all the confusion, hurt pride and longing, I only have one think in mind, "I want to get my ex girlfriend back fast and for good".

If you are like me, I dont give up just easily.  So, I gathered up whats left of my pride and laid out my plan to win back her heart and mind.  I told myself I am going to get back that kiss that once was mine.  I will take nothing less. 

In order to get back together with your ex girlfriend, there are numerous steps to take. Here are some of the tips that you should keep in mind when working through this process.

1. There is always a second chance for everyone, so its not impossible for you to get back together with your ex girlfriend. But first, you should ask yourself some questions Do you still love her? Do you really want her back? Why? Are you trying to get her back because you dont want to be alone, or you dont believe you should have been dumped? If you are looking to get back with your ex for reasons other than love, you may be playing a dangerous game that would be better off avoided.
2. Do not appear desperate or needy to your girlfriend if your priority is "how can I get back together with my ex girlfriend?" Although you may feel desperate, and you may really want her back, you absolutely need to control your emotions, keeping them to yourself. If you cannot help them, then it may be wise to talk to your friends or family so you can cry your heart out where she cannot see. Do not beg or cry in front of your girlfriend, however, and absolutely do not stalk her. 
3. Learn how to control your feelings, forgetting about self pity and instead working on the positive aspects of working things through with your ex. If you appear too needy, or if you come off as too desperate, she may end up avoiding you even more.
4. Keep the communication lines with your ex open. She may have ended the relationship, but you just need to make her feel like communication lines are open and that you want to be civil. You do not have to be the one initiating the conversation, but you should be willing to say hello and have a conversation occasionally with her, keeping in touch casually. 
5. Above all else, analyze what went awry with the relationship. There must have been a problem that led to the end of the relationship, so find out what the problem was if you want to get back together with your ex. Find out what caused the arguments, of which of her needs werent being met, and work on rectifying those issues.

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Understanding The Wife Husband Relationship

The wife husband relationship can be a complicated one. Many marriages fail because one or both partners don’t really understand the dynamic of the relationship. If even one person has a basic understanding of it, the marriage is bound to be stronger. But if both people understand how a wife husband relationship works, then it has the best chance of being a good marriage.
One of the keys to understanding the wife husband relationship is to realize just how different men and women really are. Aside from the obvious physical differences, the sexes are different emotionally and mentally, too.
When faced with a problem, for instance, men and women tend to approach it from completely different angles. Women are more likely to discuss it with other people. They might get advice and input from a few friends. It’s not uncommon for women to talk about the problem at length.
That’s because women solve problems when they talk about them. They explore all the angles of the issue and how they feel about it, and often in doing so a solution appears.
Men, on the other hand, tend to be more tight-lipped about problems. They think about it more than they talk about it. It’s more common for a man to ponder a problem and say little until he’s figured out the solution.
In the wife husband relationship this difference in problem solving can itself be a problem. He might think that she’s talking it to death when she should be trying to figure it out herself. And she might think he’s not even worried about something because he’s not talking about it .When in reality, it’s on his mind all the time and he’s just not pointing it out.
Sometimes, women tend to talk about things that they don’t necessarily want help with, or advice about. They simply want someone to listen to their opinion and thoughts. Where if a man is talking about something, it’s because he wants an answer.
If a woman is talking about something just to get it off her chest or vent, other women tend to get that and offer support. They don’t try to tell her what to do for the most part, but simply join in the conversation in empathy.
A man might simply state a solution and tell the woman what she should do, thinking he’s being very helpful and doing what he’s supposed to. But really, the woman will feel that he’s not listening and instead just trying to end the conversation.
Of course, not every wife husband relationship will happen exactly like these examples. Some men will talk out a problem and some women will be tight-lipped about it. But in general, the sexes can be expected to follow these typically patterns.
Understanding those patterns can help you stop yourself before you do something that’s natural to you. You can think about what your partner needs from you instead, and do that .Your wife husband relationship will be much stronger and happier because of it.
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Getting your babys father back

Want to bring your babys daddy back into your life?

Breaking up with a guy and facing the pain is hard enough when it is just between you and him, but when you have a child together, it can be extremely painful. But if you decide that you want your babys father back, then having the bond through your child can actually benefit you. Following are some tips to help you get him back without a lot of drama.

Read more at How To Get Your Babys Father Back

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Why Men Leave Pregnant Women

If you have wondered, hopefully not from personal experience, why men leave pregnant women there are many reasons. If the woman is his wife than it will probably be completely unexpected; after all he committed to the marriage why bail now? 
Other than the unexpectedness of a married man leaving his pregnant wife, its usually pretty easy to spot the type of man who would leave his pregnant girlfriend.  I think all women need to use common sense before they get intimately involved with any man. 
First of all if you are entering into an intimate relationship  with a man before you have really gotten to know him you have to be aware that there are many  potential dangers besides unexpected pregnancy.  If youve been in the relationship for at least a little time there have probably been many signs that this guy is a loser.
Women are too quick to forgive bad behavior in the men they date.  They will say things like "hes got a good heart, "thats just the way he was raised", "its a guy thing", etc. to justify the selfish and inconsiderate things their boyfriends do. If youre this type of woman you really should get counseling so you can understand why you would settle for this type of relationship.
The reality is that some men just dont like women and they get off on treating them badly.  For some guys it can be a real ego boost to treat his girlfriend like trash and have her keep coming back for more.  If youre in a relationship with that type of guy its not too much of a stretch to think he might leave you if you got pregnant.
Any man who is verbally, emotionally, and especially physically abusive will more than likely leave you whenever the relationship isnt convenient for him.  If your man exhibits any of these traits you should make darn sure that you dont accidentally get pregnant.  Even if he doesnt leave, he is already abusive and once you are tied down with a child that abuse is almost guaranteed to increase.
So if you are with a man who doesnt treat you with love, affection, and respect, you shouldnt be surprised to find yourself all on your own if you become pregnant.  Im not sure why men leave pregnant women expect that the term man is probably not a very accurate description of these types of guys.
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Men Who Leave Their Wives

Many women have had to face the heartbreak of a relationship break up.  Its never easy, and most would do just about anything to avoid a break up.  Men who leave their wives have many reasons for doing so, but there are some things to keep in mind so you can hopefully avoid finding yourself in that painful situation.
One thing all women need to keep in mind, that might seem to go against everything theyve ever heard or believed, is that men and women arent all that different in what they want from a relationship, they just have different ways of getting it.
Men want their women to love, respect, and admire them.  Most men want to feel like they are meeting all of the needs of their wives and girlfriends and they want their women to show a high level of appreciation.  They want to be admired. 
Its important for everyone to feel accepted for who they really are and feel like they are appreciated for all they do. Men, and women, will leave a relationship if these basic needs arent met. 
One common misconception is that men leave their wives because they have found another women who they are attracted to. While this may be true to a point, they were most likely already feeling like their needs werent being met long before the other woman came into the picture. 
One of the difficult things for women to deal with is that most men either dont understand why theyre feeling the way they are or they are unable, or unwilling, to try to discuss it and come up with a solution.  They just know they are unhappy and are sick of feeling that way.
If you want to try to keep your relationship with your husband happy and healthy, its important that you understand that even though he may express his needs in a different way than you he still has the same basic need to be loved and admired that you do. He wants to feel like he is your prince charming and is the most important person in the world to you.  Meeting these needs will help ensure that your husband isnt one of the men who leave their wives.
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Tips On How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Getting dumped by your boyfriend is no fun and if youre still in love with him then youre probably desperately trying to find help on how to get your ex boyfriend back.  Following the tips Im about to outline for you is a great start that will set you on the right road to winning him back.

The worst thing that you can do in your quest to understand how to get your ex boyfriend back, is to get desperate and needy.  Desperate and needy spells out of control and high maintenance.  Boyfriends hate out of control and high maintenance because it means they never know what youll do and where youll do it and so theyre never at ease.  Letting your ex boyfriend see that youre out of control is a surefire way to drive him away, so if this is you, you need to stop.

Not only that in this state, you hand over far too much power to your ex boyfriend and you could find yourself taken advantage of big time.  So if you want him back, dont set yourself up for a possibly painful and frustrating time.

What you should also avoid is to make yourself too readily available to your ex as you try and work out how to get your ex boyfriend back.  Show him that you value and have pride in yourself and that youre not sitting home waiting for him to call.  Get out and about and show him that youve got your life together and that youve taken the breakup in your stride.  Having him believe anything else makes your goal to get him back an up hill battle that you will probably lose.  So dont sit at home obsessing about what he might or might not be up to.  Get yourself out!

If you want to get your ex back, make sure that youre looking after yourself.  After all, you need to give him something to want to come back to and that means not letting yourself go.  Instead of staying home consoling yourself with chocolate and soda make sure that you hit the gym and keep on hitting it!  Start eating healthily and be sure youre always looking your best when youre out and about.  Not only will all of this make you look good, but it will do the world of good for your self-esteem which has no doubt taken a huge blow through all of this.

Now everything outlined works together, so if youre after the best results dont apply each step in isolation.  They all impact on each other and thats how you should use these steps when youre trying to understand how to get your ex boyfriend back.
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Does your ex girlfriend want to get back together

We have a new article: Does your ex girlfriend want to get back together? at HelpGettingBackTogether.com

Does your ex girlfriend want to get back together, or what? Say your ex calls you out of the blue, long after you broke up. She is friendly, and wants your advice about buying a new car. Does that mean she wants to get back together?

Read the rest...
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