Separation Relationships Can Get Stronger After Heartache

After a separation, relationships can be hard to rebuild. The point of a separation is to see if you can live without each other and to get some time away from your problems to gain some perspective. Unfortunately, people tend to look at a separation as the beginning of the end for a marriage.

This doesnt have to be true of every separation: relationships can actually come out the other side stronger and healthier than they ever were before. The key to coming back from a separation is to fix the mistakes and problems that lead to the separation and make sure they stay fixed.

A lot of people make an effort to solve the problems to get their significant others back but fail to do the necessary upkeep. This is very much like going on a diet and then expecting to keep the weight off by going back to exactly what you did before. Theres a reason why so many people gain the weight back, and its the same reason there are so many divorces after separation; relationships need maintenance.

The very first thing you need to do to come back from a separation is to find out what the real reasons for the separation were. There will always be a superficial reason, some event driving the decision, but this is rarely the reason, this is usually just a symptom of the real problem.

If you dont find out what the true reason for the separation, relationships will always fail. This means you have to use the time away from the marriage to look at the problem with as much distance as you can. Your emotions will tend to mislead you.

Once youve found out what the problem is, you can begin to do the work needed to fix it. This is a process that involves your spouse; there are two people in a marriage and it takes both of you working together to fix the problems that lead to the separation. Relationships need to be a partnership, and this is a good place to start.

The good news is that fixing the problem is actually the easier part. Finding the problems tends to be harder, and thats the part most couples will get hung up on. The actual fix is usually just a matter of working with your partner to find the solutions and compromises that will allow you to work around the problem.
Like a diet, this will be a lifetime project, and it will involve change. The fact is that something was broken in your marriage, and the both of you are going to have change to make it work. This where most people go wrong after a separation; relationships have be treated as something brand new.

The best strategy is to treat the relationship as if it is something entirely new. Rebuild your marriage from the ground up, making sure to address the problems that how come before, but also addressing what has come before.

After a separation, relationships can be rebuilt. You just need to take the time and put in the work. Another good idea is to get some help; there are systems and advice available all over the internet that show you exactly what you need to do to fix your relationship and save your marriage.
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Tips To Get Exgirlfriend Back

Regardless of whether your girlfriend broke up with you or if the decision to end your relationship was mutual, you may be feeling that the break-up was a mistake.  It isn’t unusual to regret breaking up with your girlfriend; nor is it unusual to want to get exgirlfriend back.  These feelings of wanting to rekindle a past relationship can occur shortly after a break-up or they may spring up several weeks or months afterwards.
If you want to get your ex back, you are going to want to try some of the following tips.  Because every break-up and every relationship is different, some of these may not apply to your situation; however, be sure to look all of the tips over thoroughly.  If you do not approach the idea of reuniting with your ex cautiously and with care, you may blow your chances of getting her back.

Try these tips as you work toward to get your ex back:

• Admit your fault in the break-up, as well as anything you did wrong during the relationship.  Although even the most heartfelt apology is unlikely to get your ex to run back into your arms, it is a good first step.

• Be kind whenever you see her.  Speak nicely, even though you may be hurting and angry—you need to rise above those feelings and understand her needs at the moment.  This will show her that you still care about her.

• Be an excellent listener whenever she talks to you.  Let her express herself and do not interrupt.  Unless she asks for your opinion, do not tell her what she should do or how she should act.

• Think about what you did during the relationship that may have helped to lead up to the break-up.  Work on changing these habits.  For example, if you determine that your ex was likely troubled by your lack of career goals, perhaps you can visit a career counselor and find a job path in which you are interested.  Your ex will see that you are working on changing the habits she disliked--and this will make you attractive to her.
Just as there are suggestions of what you should try, there are also some things you should definitely not do as you try to get exgirlfriend back.  Avoid doing any of these:

• Do not appear needy or emotionally desperate when you see or speak with your ex.  This is not attractive at all.

• Do not follow the cues you see in the movies--sending flowers and serenading her at her workplace are sure to annoy her, not attract her.

• Do not go out with other women if you want to get your ex back.  This sends the message that you do not miss your ex and that you are over the past relationship.  And even if you are careful, your ex will find out that you have seen other women.

By following these tips, you should be able to work towards to get your ex back.  Good luck!
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Praying to get your ex back Pray to God for getting back together

We have a new video! It features our nine prayers for getting back an ex, set to music.

You can watch it on our main site, HelpGettingBackTogether.com.

Here is a sample of one of the prayers:

O God, almighty and all-knowing,
help me in my time of need.
Open my eyes to behold
the true heart of the one I love,
so that I may understand
what is required of me
to win back the affection and intimacy
we used to share.

Amen.

You can also watch it offsite at YouTube.com.

Comment and let us know what you think!
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Apology letter to ex after a breakup

I wish there were more sample letters like this out there. Its hard to figure out what you want to say to your ex, especially when you want to get back together.

Even harder, if youve been a little out of control -- like if youve been texting too often, or calling or driving by. You need to put a stop to all of that, and go NC (no contact) for a while until youre thinking straight again.

And you certainly need to apologize to your ex.

Even if you dont have anything to apologize for (and, well, are you sure about that?) a letter similar to this is still a good idea, to show that youre on board with breaking up. You wont get your ex back if you resist accepting the fact that you got dumped, no matter how unfair it seems.

But... to have to compose a letter when your heads a mess isnt easy. I think this example letter to an ex would be good for most breakup circumstances. You might have to change some parts, but its a good start.

-- Kit.

Letter of Apology to an Ex Lover - What to Say and How to Say It

By Dan K. Jenkins

When you look for advice on the internet about how to get your ex back, you discover that step one is to write a letter.

And you learn that it has to be a handwritten letter -- not typed, and not an email.

The purpose of the letter is to let your ex know youre sorry for whatever you did, and that you agree that breaking up is a good idea. This letter sets the stage for everything youll be doing afterwards, to try to get back together.

Why apologize in writing?

A hand-written letter, sent in a hand-addressed envelope, is the most personal form of delayed communication you can use.

Spoken communication, in person or over the phone, is too immediate. With immediate communication, some response is required -- but your ex might feel threatened, or feel like theres not enough time to think of the right response.

Text messages and email are too casual. Even a typed or printed letter feels distant, compared to the intimacy of a handwritten letter you took the time to pen yourself. Your letter to your ex absolutely must be written by hand, and written on paper, not on a card. A card is, once again, too casual.

When to apologize?

Send your letter as soon as possible, but be sure to wait until after you have thought about your situation, and think you understand what your ex is feeling.

While you compose your letter, you should feel regret, not anger. If you are still angry, then it is too soon to write a letter of apology. It is too soon to say you agree with the breakup.

You need to be certain about what you are apologizing FOR. For example:

• Did you hurt someones feelings?



• Is someone angry at you?



• Is someone afraid of you?



• Are you ashamed of something you said or did?



• Did you lie, steal, or cheat?



• Did you forget something important?

Even if it was an accident, you should apologize. Even if it felt justified at the time, you should apologize. Even if you know that in the same circumstances, you would do the same thing again -- you still ought to apologize.

What should you say in your letter?

Your letter of apology to your lover needs to communicate two things: That you are sorry for whatever you did that caused your breakup, and that you agree that breaking up is a good idea.

Dont spend too much time explaining why you did what you did. It wont help, especially if it was a repeat occurrence, or if you did it on purpose.

Dont be funny, and dont be crude or obscene.

Dont ask for an acknowledgement -- no, "Let me know if you got this" or anything like that. You should be prepared not to hear back.

Example apology letter

Here is a sample letter to an ex girlfriend...

Dear Amy,

I have been thinking a lot about how I hurt you, and I want to say Im sorry. I understand why you dont want to be with me any more. I agree it is a good idea.

Being away from you is hard on me, but I guess that after time goes by I wont miss you so much. I hope, anyway, because I would hate to feel like this forever.

I know it was the last straw. I know you think you cant trust me any more, after what I did. But please believe my apology. You mean more to me than anyone else does. You are the one I love.

Maybe after you have had some time away from me, you will want to talk to me again. If you ever need me, I will be there for you.

Love,
Kevin


Learn more about getting back together with your ex. Visit The Online Guide to Getting Back Together and find advice from experts on how to get your ex to come back to you.

This online guide will also lead you to professionally-written books with step-by-step instructions for getting back together with an ex.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dan_K._Jenkins
http://EzineArticles.com/?Letter-of-Apology-to-an-Ex-Lover---What-to-Say-and-How-to-Say-It&id=2173025
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Relationship Breakups What You Need To Know

Relationship breakups are a terrible thing, and are devastating for most people. What most people want, more than anything else, is to find someone to spend their lives with, someone who will always be there for you. Thinking you have this and then losing it is one of the worst events most people will suffer in their life.
After relationship breakups, people tend to suffer from the same kind of emotional healing process that people who have suffered the death of a loved one. This isnt surprising, since the death of a relationship is very much like the death of someone. But unlike the death of a person, sometimes something can be done to take back the death of a relationship.

Relationship breakups do not have to be forever in many cases. Far more relationships can be saved than those that are permanently destroyed. What you have to know and understand is the various kinds of relationship breakups that exists and what you can do about them.

This article is going to give you a brief look into the kinds of relationship breakups and what strategies youll need to undertake to fix them. Not all relationships can be repaired, and not all of them should be, but most of them can. You just need to know the right techniques for each kind of breakup.

The Abusive Relationship Breakups
This is a breakup that should stay a break up. Unlike the other relationship breakups, this one can and should stick. Theres a chance that you may be considering returning to someone who physically or mentally abused you, but you need to stick with this kind of breakup. No one should take being abused.

The Mutual Breakup
Sometimes, both people in the relationship may want out and the relationship ends by mutual consent. Now, if this is truly a mutual breakup, theres a good chance that this is another relationship that shouldnt be repaired. On the other hand, if it was just called a relationship and was really one of the next two kinds of relationship breakups, thats a different matter entirely.

They Broke Up with You
This is usually the most hurtful kind of break up. If this has happened to you, what you need to do first is figure out exactly why the relationship ended. Once you know this, you have to decide if what went wrong is something you could or should fix. If it is something you can and should fix, then this needs to be your starting point.

You Broke Up with Them
Sometimes, we break up with people and then realize weve thrown away something good. When this happens, the first thing you need to do is reestablish trust. This means that youre going to essentially start the relationship over. Start slow, with coffee dates or something similar, and then work your way slowly towards repairing the relationship.

No matter which of the relationship breakups youve experienced, you need to be aware that help is out there. You just need to find the right kind of advice and instruction to allow you to mend feeling and repair your relationship and get your ex back.
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I Want My Ex Back How Can I Get Them Back

So youve been on your own for a couple of weeks now and you wake up one morning with this burning thought in your mind “I want my ex back!”  Which is a pretty normal reaction if you find that youre still in love with your ex.  What is also natural is that you will find you have no real idea how to go about getting them back.  So you end up looking around for help in order that you dont make a complete mess in your attempt to win them back.
Well first of all, before you go off trying to get your ex back, make sure that youre not going through the natural grieving process that comes at the end of a relationship.  At the end of most  relationships there is a period when the hurt and missing is so intense that it is akin to the grieving process.  During this process it is very natural to have the feeling “I want my ex back!”and for that feeling to be all consuming.
This is because you are grieving for all the dreams and hopes you had that were wrapped up in your ex love and your ex relationship.  So make real sure that youre not going through this process before you attempt to get them back.
Assuming that it is more than natural grieving, you are now ready to make good on your thought that “I want my ex back!” your next move should always be to figure out what went wrong. 
This is important, because unless you take the time to go over the mistakes that you might have made, then getting back with your ex will only eventually lead to the same break down in the relationship as before and that will do neither of you any good.  So own your mistakes and anything that you might have done wrong to contribute to the break down of the relationship.
A vital tip to remember is not to focus on what you believe your ex might have done wrong.  Let them take care of their stuff for now and you take care of your own.  There is time in the future for the two of you to dig around in the collective causes, but for now, you must work on your own issues and mistakes.  
If youre sincerely clear that “I want my ex back!” then all that has been outlined is really the start that you need to take to get back with your ex and to secure a future for the two of you that will not fall into the same mistakes and pitfalls of before.
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Is it easier to get your girlfriend back than to find someone new

Here is an excerpt from a new article:

I can tell that being in a relationship was a large source of Davids self-esteem. Secretly, he was proud of being a "regular guy" who had a girlfriend. It made him feel like a man.

Now, he thinks his male friends see him as a failure for getting dumped. He feels embarrassed about it.

He wants to get back the security and status of being in a relationship — but to him, getting back a woman he has already been intimate with seems a whole lot easier than trying to meet new women, and get close to one of them.

Read the full text here, about why for some guys, getting a girlfriend back is the easier option: Is it easier to get your girlfriend back than to find someone new?
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Why Men Leave Their Wives

Todays women can find it challenging sometimes to keep their marriages intact and happy. Many women wonder why men leave their wives and what they can do to make sure it doesnt happen to them.
The truth of the matter is that our society has made it very difficult for men and women to find long term loving relationships.  Why? Because the rules our society has adopted are based on inaccurate information.
One of the most obvious misconception that is pervasive throughout our society is the idea that men only want sex and/or have a much higher sex drive than women.  The truth is that men and women have similar sex drives but men have been encouraged, by society, to fulfill their needs while women have been discouraged from having sex until they are married. 
This leads to many misunderstandings between men and women and how they approach their relationships.  It might mean a man will be more tempted to cheat on his wife because after all, its in his nature.  And it could mean that a women uses sex with the hopes of keeping her husband in love with her so he will stay in the marriage.
If we really got to the bottom of things though we would understand that men and women want basically the same things in a relationship.  Both want to feel loved, respected, and desired by their partners.  When you break it down like that it doesnt really seem all that hard, does it?
If you want to keep your marriage strong try to meet your husbands needs...all of them, not just sexually. A word of caution here though.  Because of the way our society has told us to behave women have the tendency to think that they have to meet their husbands needs even if that means ignoring their own.  No! All that will do is make you resentful and bitter and that wont keep a marriage intact.
While its important to try to meet your husbands needs it cant be done to the detriment of your own.  Dont put your wants and needs on hold to satisfy your husband, youll be unhappy, hell be unhappy (and bored) and the marriage wont last.  For a marriage to thrive both parties need to be happy, healthy, stable, and have their needs being met on a regular basis.
So for any women who wants to know why men leave their wives its usually because his needs arent being met, and I dont just mean his sexual needs.  I mean on some level he doesnt feel like you love, desire, or respect him and he will try to find someone who will.
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How to quickly get your ex girlfriend back

When reality sets in, and relationships end, you are girl may still have lingering questions if its really the end between the two of you.  Sometimes guys just cannot admit to themselves that their girlfriend dumped them and think that its never working out.  Well at least that was how I felt before.  Amidst all the confusion, hurt pride and longing, I only have one think in mind, "I want to get my ex girlfriend back fast and for good".

If you are like me, I dont give up just easily.  So, I gathered up whats left of my pride and laid out my plan to win back her heart and mind.  I told myself I am going to get back that kiss that once was mine.  I will take nothing less. 

In order to get back together with your ex girlfriend, there are numerous steps to take. Here are some of the tips that you should keep in mind when working through this process.

1. There is always a second chance for everyone, so its not impossible for you to get back together with your ex girlfriend. But first, you should ask yourself some questions Do you still love her? Do you really want her back? Why? Are you trying to get her back because you dont want to be alone, or you dont believe you should have been dumped? If you are looking to get back with your ex for reasons other than love, you may be playing a dangerous game that would be better off avoided.
2. Do not appear desperate or needy to your girlfriend if your priority is "how can I get back together with my ex girlfriend?" Although you may feel desperate, and you may really want her back, you absolutely need to control your emotions, keeping them to yourself. If you cannot help them, then it may be wise to talk to your friends or family so you can cry your heart out where she cannot see. Do not beg or cry in front of your girlfriend, however, and absolutely do not stalk her. 
3. Learn how to control your feelings, forgetting about self pity and instead working on the positive aspects of working things through with your ex. If you appear too needy, or if you come off as too desperate, she may end up avoiding you even more.
4. Keep the communication lines with your ex open. She may have ended the relationship, but you just need to make her feel like communication lines are open and that you want to be civil. You do not have to be the one initiating the conversation, but you should be willing to say hello and have a conversation occasionally with her, keeping in touch casually. 
5. Above all else, analyze what went awry with the relationship. There must have been a problem that led to the end of the relationship, so find out what the problem was if you want to get back together with your ex. Find out what caused the arguments, of which of her needs werent being met, and work on rectifying those issues.

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How to quickly get over your ex girlfriend

Need someone to blame for your lackluster love life? Point your finger at your ex. According to a new study from the University of Toronto, your old flame gives you fits long after the breakup.

Researchers tracked 123 people in relationships for six months, asking them to rate their feelings of affection both for their current partner and their most recent past partner. Turns out that as your current relationship goes sour, you begin to wistfully reminisce about the good times with your ex. “She starts to seem like a much better alternative when your new relationship isn’t going well,” says study author Stephanie Spielmann, a Ph.D. candidate in psychology at Toronto.

What’s more, people who started a relationship with relatively positive feelings for their ex saw their new relationship quickly fall apart, the study found.

That doesn’t mean you should let nostalgia for your ex push aside the legitimate reasons why you broke up. “Trying to get back together is often associated with feelings of anger, hostility and sadness,” Spielmann says. “Plus, on-again, off-again relationships tend to be of lower quality.” It’s true: According to new research from Kansas State University, people in cyclical relationships tend to feel less satisfied, have lower self-esteem, and have more doubts about the future of their relationship than more stable couples.

In order to forge a new dating path without worrying about your ex, you need to make your breakup stick. Here’s how. (And for more tips on cutting bait, learn How to Send Her Packing for Good.)

1. Renew Your Space

You were probably wise enough to give back her stuff, and you may have even tossed most of her gifts (although we don’t blame you for keeping that signed NFL game ball). But plenty of your belongings can remind you of your ex. “Get rid of that blanket you cuddled together under, move your bed, buy a new bedspread, and rearrange your couch and your flatscreen so the familiar look of your living room doesn’t stir up old memories,” says Melysha Acharya, founder of BrokenHeartedGirl.com and author of The Breakup Workbook for Men.

2. Get an Outside Perspective

Ask your close friends what they really thought of your ex-girlfriend. “The key questions to ask are: ‘Did I seem happy with my ex?’ and ‘Did you think she was good for me?’” says Acharya. Their unvarnished opinion will help you see past your idealized memories. If she broke your heart, chances are your friends will loyally hate her for you. But if it turns out they actually liked your ex, take that as a sign that you’re meeting the right women and you’ll be able to find a better match soon. (Living in the city? Discover 3 Ways to Meet the Woman of Your Dreams.)

3. Rebuild Your Ego

You may feel like you’ll never meet anyone better than your ex, and you fear you’ll be alone forever. So even if you’re not ready to date yet, set up an online dating profile and browse the available women in your area. A 2009 study by Spielmann found that merely thinking about the number of available women you know helps reduce feelings of attachment to your ex. (Read The 10 Commandments of Online Dating before plunging ahead.)
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Men Who Leave Their Wives

Many women have had to face the heartbreak of a relationship break up.  Its never easy, and most would do just about anything to avoid a break up.  Men who leave their wives have many reasons for doing so, but there are some things to keep in mind so you can hopefully avoid finding yourself in that painful situation.
One thing all women need to keep in mind, that might seem to go against everything theyve ever heard or believed, is that men and women arent all that different in what they want from a relationship, they just have different ways of getting it.
Men want their women to love, respect, and admire them.  Most men want to feel like they are meeting all of the needs of their wives and girlfriends and they want their women to show a high level of appreciation.  They want to be admired. 
Its important for everyone to feel accepted for who they really are and feel like they are appreciated for all they do. Men, and women, will leave a relationship if these basic needs arent met. 
One common misconception is that men leave their wives because they have found another women who they are attracted to. While this may be true to a point, they were most likely already feeling like their needs werent being met long before the other woman came into the picture. 
One of the difficult things for women to deal with is that most men either dont understand why theyre feeling the way they are or they are unable, or unwilling, to try to discuss it and come up with a solution.  They just know they are unhappy and are sick of feeling that way.
If you want to try to keep your relationship with your husband happy and healthy, its important that you understand that even though he may express his needs in a different way than you he still has the same basic need to be loved and admired that you do. He wants to feel like he is your prince charming and is the most important person in the world to you.  Meeting these needs will help ensure that your husband isnt one of the men who leave their wives.
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Tips On How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Getting dumped by your boyfriend is no fun and if youre still in love with him then youre probably desperately trying to find help on how to get your ex boyfriend back.  Following the tips Im about to outline for you is a great start that will set you on the right road to winning him back.

The worst thing that you can do in your quest to understand how to get your ex boyfriend back, is to get desperate and needy.  Desperate and needy spells out of control and high maintenance.  Boyfriends hate out of control and high maintenance because it means they never know what youll do and where youll do it and so theyre never at ease.  Letting your ex boyfriend see that youre out of control is a surefire way to drive him away, so if this is you, you need to stop.

Not only that in this state, you hand over far too much power to your ex boyfriend and you could find yourself taken advantage of big time.  So if you want him back, dont set yourself up for a possibly painful and frustrating time.

What you should also avoid is to make yourself too readily available to your ex as you try and work out how to get your ex boyfriend back.  Show him that you value and have pride in yourself and that youre not sitting home waiting for him to call.  Get out and about and show him that youve got your life together and that youve taken the breakup in your stride.  Having him believe anything else makes your goal to get him back an up hill battle that you will probably lose.  So dont sit at home obsessing about what he might or might not be up to.  Get yourself out!

If you want to get your ex back, make sure that youre looking after yourself.  After all, you need to give him something to want to come back to and that means not letting yourself go.  Instead of staying home consoling yourself with chocolate and soda make sure that you hit the gym and keep on hitting it!  Start eating healthily and be sure youre always looking your best when youre out and about.  Not only will all of this make you look good, but it will do the world of good for your self-esteem which has no doubt taken a huge blow through all of this.

Now everything outlined works together, so if youre after the best results dont apply each step in isolation.  They all impact on each other and thats how you should use these steps when youre trying to understand how to get your ex boyfriend back.
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How to reconnect with an ex girlfriend

As romantic as it may sound to you to want to reconnect with your ex girlfriend, you should probably be aware that there is no guarantee that she is going to feel the same way about things. While you might assume that she is going to be ecstatic that you are trying to reconnect with her, many men find out that this is not the case and if you go about things the wrong way, you can end up chasing her away. I am sure that you dont want to scare her off, so you probably want to know if there is a way to get back the woman you lost without making her run away from you. There is.

Why Would She Be Scared Off by You?

First though, lets talk about one of the most common reasons why a woman will feel like she has to run away from an ex boyfriend that is trying to reconnect with her. And that is - the guy usually makes things out to be more serious than he should. If there has been a buffer of time between the last time that the two of you communicated with one another, then you may want to be careful that you dont come across as being too serious when you do.

Think about things from her perspective on this one. She is going about her normal life, doing her normal routine and then... out of the blue you call her up and act all serious. What do you expect is going to run through her mind? She is probably going to wonder what you are up to and why you are trying to get back together with her now that she has gotten on with her life. That is probably going to make her very hesitant about wanting to reconnect with you and for you, that means that you are going to have another obstacle to deal with.

You dont want to bring that upon yourself. So, what you should do is to be very careful about coming across like you are reconnecting with her for the sole reason of getting back together. Make it seem like it is more about just wanting to reconnect and talk with her and that will probably give you a better chance of her actually feeling like she wants to reconnect with you as well. Once you do that and you build up some rapport with her again, THEN you will have your chance to think about escalating things to the point where you can get back together.

Take It Slow and It May Just Happen -

Its always a shame to lose contact with a woman that you still care about, but if you take precaution to make sure that you dont seem like the only reason why you want to reconnect with her is to get back together - you may just get your chance. And the cool thing about it is... it may then lead to the two of you getting back together after all.

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How to get rid of a crazy ex girlfriend

Oh yes, you know who I am talking about...
Those insane ex girlfriends who were dumped weeks, months, or even well over a year ago who refuse to accept that things are O-V-E-R because, well...
"Its not over UNTIL I SAY ITS OVER!!!!" *locusts burst out of chest, clouds darken* - its the beginning of the apocalypse.

Ye-ap, THEY BE KA-RA-ZAY!

I feel like you would know whether or not you have a crazy ex, but if for some bizarre reason youre blissfully unaware, let me spell it out for you.

You know you have a crazy ex-girlfriend when...

1) You receive anonymous phone calls before bed and hear some exorcist-style, shaky breathing on the other line, but never any voices. On occasion, you may hear some low whispers... that would be the sound of desperation in the form of a love spell, or voodoo that they learned at the creepy corner store in your small town. Either way, now would be the time to hang up the phone and close your blinds because if shes not sitting in the tree outside your window watching you yet, she will be soon.

2) Your facebook, hotmail, myspace, etc. are constantly being hacked and you have to log on, fill out your "not-so-secret-anymore" information and change your password again and AGAIN. Yup, that would be her... she wants to know who youre talking to, why youre talking to them, and if she has any other girls she needs to worry about.

3) Every time you go to bed you smell her perfume on your pillow. At this point, youre either paranoid from all of the outside-your-window-tree-stalking that shes been doing, or shes been sneaking into your room, rolling around on your bed and hoping that her scent will lead you back to her.

Now would be the time to file a police report...
OR...
Follow this step-by-step guide on how to rid yourself of her insane antics:

1) Be polite, yet firm. If this girl is as crazy as you think she is, its likely that she will not listen to reason. However, you need to explain to her why you think that the relationship cant work. Assure her that you dont want to be with a person who you dont love and that she doesnt want to be with a person who cant love her "the way she deserves." Even if that is a bunch of BS, consider the fact that you once cared for this girl... and as much as you want to bash her in the face with a shovel and tell her to find someone else to stalk - you cant.

2) Some girls cant take the hint. Some girls cant take the let-me-spell-it-out-for-you-I-dont-care-about-you-and-I-never-will approach either... they just wont accept things. AVOID HER - avoid her at all costs. Clearly she lacks self control (and stability), so being around your sexy self will only draw her to you more. If you are at a party and she shows up (which she clearly planned BY THE WAY) - DO NOT talk to her. If she talks to you, give short, yet polite, one word answers and walk away and talk to other people. If she begins making a scene... and by scene I mean shes sobbing in the corner, screaming your name, or throwing things - that would be your cue to leave.

3) If she continues showing up at your house, or your work unannounced - now would be the time to stand your ground. Do not tell her that youre better off alone, yet continue making plans with her. Do not tell her that you need some distance between the two of you for a while and continue to talk to her on a daily, or weekly basis. Do not tell her that you want to see other people and continue to hook up with her. DID YOU HEAR THAT LAST ONE? DO NOT, BY ANY MEANS, CONTINUE TO HOOK UP WITH YOUR CRAZY EX. Believe it or not... she will continue to obsess over you and will fool herself into believing that the two of you may, POSSIBLY, get back together. SHE will cling to that slight chance like its her JOB. If you continue to hook up with this girl - YOU are bringing this problem upon yourself. BE STRONG and if you cant keep it in your pantaloons - buy some lotion, or get a hobby.

4) If she is friends with any of your friends... be aware of the fact that she is likely talking to them and asking them what youre up to in that ever-so-subtle way of hers. THIS WILL NOT DO AT ALL! Tell your friends not to divulge any personal, or secret things going on in your life to this girl. If she knows what, or who youre doing - there will be trouble... "I wanna wear your skin to my birthday party" kind of trouble.

5) If you begin seeing someone else... its likely that your crazy ex-girlfriend already knows about it via her mad stalking skills. Do not share information about your new girlfriend with your ex, such as where she works, lives, or your plans for the upcoming weekend. Depending on how crazy your ex is, you could be placing your new gal in danger. Its not her business who youre dating, or why youre dating them.
**Keep in mind that it is not a very good idea to divulge that you are dating someone new too soon after a breakup - it would be best to keep things on the down low for a little while if your relationship just ended.**

6) Be consistent with what you are saying and doing. Do not give your ex-girlfriend hugs, hold her hand, talk to her constantly, tell her you miss her, etc. UNLESS you are planning on getting back together with her. With that being said, weve already established that shes crazy, so... I guess its your funeral.

**** If you are planning on establishing a friendly relationship with this person, explain WHY you cannot talk to her for a while and why you need space - be upfront with her. If you disappear suddenly without telling her - she will think youre a jerk and will not want to be friends with you. Be courteous and tell her that youre going to be disappearing for a while and that you would like to be friends after youve had some time to deal with things.

**** Ahhh...haunt my dreams.
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Does your ex girlfriend want to get back together

We have a new article: Does your ex girlfriend want to get back together? at HelpGettingBackTogether.com

Does your ex girlfriend want to get back together, or what? Say your ex calls you out of the blue, long after you broke up. She is friendly, and wants your advice about buying a new car. Does that mean she wants to get back together?

Read the rest...
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How to get over an ex girlfriend

This is the number one question I get asked most of the time – right after the question on how to win her back.

And it’s difficult to answer. How do you get over your ex girlfriend?

I guess that we have all been there at some point in our lives.

Relationship starts. Everything’s good. Suddenly, everything isn’t so good. And you break up. That’s life!

I have had my share of it, so I speak from experience here.


You have probably shared lots of good times, and now it’s gone.

No more holding hands, no more crawling in close when it’s cold outside, no more kisses under the moonlight, no more anything.

For some it’s easier to accept than others. But I don’t think anyone like breaking up.

For the first few days, after realizing the truth, you feel pretty awful. This is definitely the worst part of a break up, and also the part that defines your emotions for the next couple of weeks.

So how do you go about handling a break up?

 

As thoughts are really hard to control, I’ll give you a “timeline” for your emotions.

I know it might sound a little strange, but it’s how I personally handle the break up, and for that reason, I figure it might be useful for some people.

Here we go:

The first few days I cry my heart out. I let out all of my negative feelings, and do almost nothing more all day than to “think about her”. Whenever I try to slip in a positive thought, I’ll disregard it right away. It’s my privelege to be sad just a few days a year, I’ll explain why later on.

What’s really important in this phase is that you don’t talk to anyone about the break up. At least not more than something like “we’re not together anymore”.

Another really important thing to do is to stop listening to love songs. At this point, you will most likely identify with them, and I know from experience that this can really f**k up your emotions later on.

So just let yourself be as sad as you can, without talking to anyone, and without getting feelings from anyone else than yourself.

Afterwards, if you have followed my advice, you should almost be sick thinking about her. 3 days might not be a long time in a calendar, but in your head, it will almost feel like it’s ages ago you broke up.

You will start realizing that she wasn’t “the one” for you, and that you have your whole life waiting, along with millions of cute girls.

Over the next few weeks, you might have some reoccurring thoughts about her. That’s fine. As long as you realize how bad she was for you, and that you’re not going to get back together.

I think this is the part most guys do wrong. They keep thinking they can get back together, and this makes it incredibly hard to move on.

For a couple of days, try to just “get on with it”. Don’t spend time thinking about her, just live your life like you always have.

After a week or two, you’ll see that you do fantastic without her. You might not be completely “over her”, but you’re definitely on the right path to getting so.

Personally, after about 2-3 weeks, I completely stop thinking about her. Well, not completely, she’s still “my ex”, but I’m by no means sad about the fact that we’re not together anymore.

Soon, I’ll meet another girl, twice as nice, and it’s all uphill from here with happiness. Until we break up.
Life’s strange isn’t it?

General tips on handling the break up

• Stop stroking the banana fantasizing about her. It’s just wrong… AND it tightens your emotional bonds to her. Not good man!
• You’d be amazed what kissing a new girl can do. Start meeting new people as soon as possible.
• Accept that she wasn’t the one. She was just a girl, whatever your brain might tell you. You have a “her” hole in your stomach right now, and you probably think that only she can fill it. But what the hole really is is just a woman shaped hole, and any women can fill it.
• Take control of the situation. Don’t let her define your feelings, only you can do that.
• Start living again. After feeling down for a few days, a week, or maybe more, start living again. If you have always wanted to start playing tennis, now is the time to do it. Or start playing guitar, or start painting. Anything will work, just gain some kind of new passion, or relive an old one.

Why it’s important to be sad at first

 

This might not work for everyone, but I can only conclude stuff from my own experience, so that’s what I’m going to do.

The reason I choose to be sad at first, is to take control. It’s my choice to cry, she has nothing to do with it. Not directly, anyway.

In my opinion it’s really bad to try to run from your feelings, because you will feel sad. Best just to admit it and let it out.

After those few days, you will also realize that someone that made you so sad, wasn’t right for you. This is also important.

So now to wrap it up, I would like to know one thing.
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Three things NOT TO DO if you want to get your ex back

From the article: Three things NOT TO DO if you want to get your ex back at HelpGettingBackTogether.com

We all know the effect alcohol can have on someone...you lose your inhibition...and quite often lack common sense...especially if you are driven by any frustrating feelings...Drinking because youre having a night out with your friends is one thing...but to try to drink in hope of drinking your problems away...is something you want to avoid at ALL COST...It is counter productive... and you will most likely act or say something stupid

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Sample Apology Letter to Ex

Just added another new article on HelpGettingBackTogether.com.

This ones all about writing an apology letter to your ex girlfriend or boyfriend.

It gives you an example of what to say and how to say it -- theres even a sample apology letter so you can see how its done.
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Using the Cosmic Ordering Service To Get What You Desire

By Janet Lumb

More and more people are starting to think about the possibility of being able to order just about anything that is desired from the universe and actually receiving it. It is no surprise that people are looking closely at cosmic ordering since it has received a great deal of publicity.

Everyone seems ready to jump on the cosmic ordering bandwagon since a number of celebrities have started vouching for it. There is one question that remains though; what are the chances of an average person being successful?

The truth is that this can work for anybody. If you have tried cosmic ordering, but havent been successful, you should take a closer look. There is a good chance that you were subconsciously sabotaging you chances of receiving the things that you desire.

Everybody has the right to take advantage of the cosmic ordering service in order to receive things that they desire. There are a number of people that will point out the fact that they never asked to become ill or fall into financial ruin and they are absolutely right.

The problem is not found in the cosmic ordering service, but in the manner that you are channeling your desires. Dont use a negative tone when you ask for your desires. For example, dont say things like I really dont want to get sick.

You should find a way to seek what you desire in a positive manner. Instead of stating what it is that you dont want, clearly ask for what you do want. If you want to keep your health you might try saying something like, Im in such good health that Im not surprised that I never get sick.

This is one area that many fail when the try to make affirmations or try to think positive. Instead of seeing themselves as they could be, they see themselves as they are. By doing this they are affirming their station in life but should be affirming the place that they should be and believing that they are receiving their cosmic order.

When often carry the belief systems of others with us throughout our lives. If you were told as a child that you were fat, skinny, stupid or anything negative, these comments likely changed the belief that you have for yourself.

If we were living in a perfect world, each and every child would be raised with the knowledge and support needed to clearly understand that they truly deserve the things that they desire. Instead, children are condition to believe that it is wrong to want a lot of material things. Kids are taught that it is wrong to receive things that are wanted unless they are earned with hours of hard work. Even then there should be a special reason for deserving the reward.

Another thing we need to stop doing is believing that we should count our blessing. There is no reason why we should settle for next to nothing in our lifetime. There are plenty of riches in the universe, enough for everyone. There is so much in fact that they could stretch to the edge of infinity.

By believing that you would have to covet the riches of other people in order to have what you want, you are reinforcing that you have less than others. Instead, you should be happy for other people that have riches and believe that there truly is plenty of wealth to go around. You must believe that you can have what you want without taking it from others.

Does the power of positive thinking really have an effect on our lives? You bet it does. To stress this point, remember that there are scientific studies that have proven that a humans brain is able to create waves of energy that are able to move a quark.

The hardest part of the whole process of cosmic ordering is being able to fully free ourselves of the negative beliefs that lie in our subconscious mind. The negative beliefs are very likely embedded firmly into our memories, but they must be cleared away. In order to do this you may need to use every tool that is available.

There is nothing to worry about though since there are some really powerful tools that we can use. Two really effective tools that can be used to target our subconscious minds are self hypnosis and subliminal suggestion. Once we have gained access to this region of our mind we can get to work and begin systematically wiping the negative thoughts form our mind and begin to reap the benefits of the cosmic ordering service.

You are able to take control of your future, but you must believe this without any doubt. By using some of these very effective tools youll be able to clear the blockages and order all that you desire from the cosmic ordering service. - 30535

About the Author:

Janet Lumb is a writer for the popular cosmicorderinginfo.com website. Discover how easy it really is to be a huge success with Cosmic Ordering when you visit this site. Change your life forever with a huge collection of Cosmic Ordering binaural beats, hypnosis and affirmations Audios.

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Announcing several new articles on the main site

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  No contact rule - How long?
  
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