How to Make Out With a Girl in 40 seconds or less For Real

If you’ve ever seen a guy in a bar walk up to a girl he didn’t know and make out with her almost immediately, it can be a completely mind-blowing experience. It may seem like it’s magical or out of reach – a special ability or super-power that someone is born with.

But it’s not. And it can be broken down into a few simple steps you can follow in order to make the same thing happen for you. In this article, I’m going to break down those steps.
The first step is to realize that about 90% of the difference between someone who’s really good with women and someone who’s not so good or mediocre with women, is the ability to spot a woman who’s ready to make out.

How to Make Out With a Girl ?

I know it sounds kind of crazy at first, but it’s true. If you walk into a bar and go up to any woman without knowing what signs to look for, your odds of success go WAY down.

You must know how to spot that woman who’s already in this “make-out ready” state, so you can walk up and be “that guy.”

Don’t buy into the myth that women don’t want this to happen.

Women are as sexual (if not more sexual) than guys are. Most of the time, this “turbo” make-out session never happens, because so many guys are afraid to go for it. And when this doesn’t happen, the girls end up going home alone or worse.. staying being kind of mean to a lot of guys in the bar/being resentful and angry because no one’s approaching them.

By putting this technique into practice, You want to discover how to see the women who you’re able to make out with in 40 seconds or less in the first place.

There are a few excellent indicators that will (especially in a bar atmosphere) tell you if a woman is game, or ready for an instant make-out session.

What To Look For

The first indicator is a woman looking down often. When a woman looks down often, she is accessing her emotions.

Let me explain… When we look in different directions, we access different parts of our brain. These are called “Eye Accessing Cues.” When a woman is in a bar setting and looking down, she’s accessing her emotional brain.

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If she makes eye contact with you, looks down then back up again, she’s saying: “I have an emotional response to you looking at me and I’m looking down.” And if she tilts her head down as well (and doesn’t just use her eyes to look down), she’s physically dropping herself a little bit lower and showing submission.

This gives you the ability to walk up and be the dominant man.

Now, if she looks at you, smiles and doesn’t look away, this could be a lot more difficult situation. Socially, she’s meeting you head on, and not showing immediate submission.

Women who you’re going to be able to walk up to and make out with in 40 seconds or less should automatically take the submissive role as a woman. That’s one quality which shows you’ll be able to quickly make out with her.

Another quality is that she’s actively looking around to make eye contact. This is crucial. A woman who is engaged with someone specifically and she’s not looking away is not going to be as easy to seduce in 40 seconds or less. It’s going to take much longer.

Again, you’re going to have to play a totally different kind of game when you walk up. You can’t just walk up and make out with her.

So instead, if you see a woman who is in a conversation but she’s constantly looking around and trying to make eye contact with a lot of people, this is probably a very, very likely opportunity for you and that’s a woman you can walk up to and immediately become sexual with.

Other traits are revealed in the way they’re moving and how they’re dressed. Let’s say she’s standing with her feet about shoulder-width apart. It’s less likely that a woman standing like this is going to be available for you to walk up and dominate. That’s because she’s standing in a dominant position, with stronger body language and she’ll probably be a lot more resistant.

Instead, you want to find a woman who takes up less space. She has her legs closer together and seems to be outside of a group, looking around a little bit.

Another thing is the way she’s dressed. If she’s dressed in a way that’s super flashy and attracting lots of attention, she probably isn’t the kind of girl you can walk up to and make out with in 40 seconds.

This kind of women is looking for attention – not for someone to dominate them. What you want is someone who’s in between “I don’t care” and “Stare at my tits, bitch!” Somewhere between wearing sweatpants with an elastic waistband to the bar and done up really, really beautiful and sexy with a really low-cut shirt. You want to find someone who’s in between those two extremes.

A lot of women who are on vacation fall into this realm. They don’t want to over dress or under dress, and don’t know how the bar atmosphere is going to be. They’ll usually come in open-minded, and start looking around trying to make connections. This is an excellent situation for you (and her, of course).

That’s what to look for and how you spot her in the first place. If you see some of those, you want to watch her for a second. If you think that she is the kind of person you can walk up to and do this, then proceed.

If not, I’d actually suggest you proceed anyway, just to see what happens.

Next, right after you get that done and you’ve seen your girl (there are probably three or four of these girls in a bar at any given moment) you’re going to walk up and start the scary part.
What To Do
This is where the most powerful kind of frame control comes in. It’s very, very important that you understand how to control someone else’s frame if you want to come across like you’re a pro at this.

By “frame,” I basically mean their “reality.” You’re controlling what they experience. You have to be able to stay in control of that experience in order to really bring her to the level where she feels comfortable making out with you immediately.

I’m going to give you a very quick, punchy, fast way of doing this. I’ll explain as quick as possible; that way you can go straight out and try it…

Here’s what I would say, word-for-word… Walk up to a girl, when you get up to her and right when she makes eye contact with you, I want you to SLOWLY put your finger up by your lips and say this, “Shhh?”

Then slow your speech pattern down and deepen your vocal tonality. And immediately say, “Wait just one moment.”

You can also say, “Stop for one minute.” I suggest using a bit of NLP here. Whenever someone hears “stop,” “wait,” or “don’t,” they immediately register whatever comes after that.

So if I say, “Don’t think of a black cat,” what do you do? Immediately, you think of a black cat and whatever version of one you have in your head.

So if I said, “Don’t try to make out with me,” or “Don’t make out with me right now,” girls are going to be consciously hearing, “Don’t make out with me,” but their subconscious minds will be hearing, “Make out with me right now!”

You’re attempting to sort of use real-life Inception to get making-out with you to be HER idea. She should be thinking, “I should make out with this guy.”

Now, during frame control you’ll be using a lot of these subconscious triggers in order to get this to go as fast as possible. Please only use this for good. There are lots of evil ways to use this.

Don’t try to seduce women who don’t want to be seduced. Again, that’s one of the reasons why it’s important that you notice a woman who really does want to be seduced by a man.

So to recap so far: you walk up, you put your finger over your lips and you tell her to “Shhh” for a second and then you say a sentence that starts with “don’t” or “wait” or “stop.”

My typical is “Don’t worry… right now.” That’s all I say. And I slow that speech down ? “Don’t?worry?……. right now.”

Then I go right into the next statement, which is, “You and I are going to have a secret. We’re going to secretly kiss and no one will know.”

And as I’m saying this, I’m leaning in… and you’ll be doing the same when you do it. You’re leaning in ever… so… slowly. At the same time, you’re looking from her eyes down to her lips and back up to her eyes again.

This is called “Triangulating.” Count to three looking at her eyes, then look down to her lips and count to two, look back up and count to three, look down and count to two… etc. Do that about three or four times as you’re talking.

This can be a lot to remember, so you may want to practice it a little bit. I wouldn’t expect you’re going to get it perfect the first time.

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So again, you say, “We’re going to have a secret. We’re going to kiss and no one is going to know.” From here on out, you’re really just filling up space with words as you’re leaning in so you’re still controlling the interaction.

So you’re going to very, very slowly, take your right or left hand ? whichever one is more accessible ? and reach around her back. You won’t pull her in toward you or anything yet, just touch her very lightly.
Signs That It’s Working
Is she looking at your lips? If she’s looking at your lips, you have a green light to go forward. If she’s looking at your eyes, you may want to wait a second, or turn around and turn back again and try it again.

This resets the meter in her mind, so to speak. When you turn around and turn back again, most people consider this to be a fresh start in a conversation. It’s a strange loop-hole in psychology.

For some reason, that’s how we are as humans. When someone turns away then turns back, we give them another chance moving forward. So if you’re getting some resistance, turn around, turn back, smile, and continue. If she gives you resistance again, you probably should back off and find another woman.

If she’s looking at your lips and seems to be very comfortable and excited, then proceed. You’ll move in very closely and speak almost directly into her ear.
!Important!
In a loud environment like a bar, you’ll want to speak louder, but don’t raise your voice. Make your voice very low so that you have to be very, very close to her ear for her to hear.

Then you’re going to keep talking… What I usually say is, “No one is going to see this. It’s just going to be our little secret. I promise I won’t tell anybody only if you promise that you won’t tell anybody either.”

As I’m saying this into her ear, I make sure that she’s feeling my breath on her neck. So I’m sort of breathing out a little bit more than normal as I’m speaking so she can feel that hot air on her neck.

This usually gets a very visceral, deep, sexual response from women when you do this.

As you’re speaking really close to her ear, you’ll, very slowly, press your cheek against hers as you’re talking. Then you’ll move you head over so that your mouth is closer to hers, and then… you’ll start kissing her.

And if you do this right, you start out with just one soft peck… then go straight into making out. It may not seem like it in this description, but 40 seconds is a long time. This process can happen in a lot less than 40 seconds – I’ve done it in less time, and I’ve seen other guys do it, too.
Practice It
What I want you to do is practice this approach. Maybe go for a minute or two at first, and then get to where you can do this in about 40 (or even 30) seconds.

You won’t use this tactic all the time. But when the opportunity is right, it’s really good to have this in your seduction arsenal. You want to make sure that you have the right kind of tools for the job, so to speak.

Whenever you see a girl who’s in that state and ready to be seduced, if you beat around the bush, engage in small talk or generally waste time, she’ll be turned off and you’ve lost a golden seduction opportunity.

Instead, when you spot this, you want to be able to see her, know that that’s what she wants, go in, and give it to her immediately. This is the major difference between guys who are rock stars at walking up and seducing a woman… and guys who wish that they were great at quickly seducing a woman.

There are a lot of other success factors as well. There are techniques on how to speak with the right tonality… how to touch her that allows her to feel comfortable and doesn’t turn off any of her weird alert switches… specific NLP triggers that you can use to connect and make sure she’s totally in your zone.

What’s taken me from a normal dude to a well-respected dating coach, is knowing a lot of short-cuts like this and knowing when to bring them out. And these short-cuts can also improve your game with women.

Remember these characteristics in women who want to be seduced, and remember ? it is possible to make out with a woman in 40 seconds or less.

Discover my other top 3 “Seduction Secrets” in this special video presentation.

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Tips On How To Get Your Ex Girl Back

Be Yourself:

The first good tip that you should follow on how to get your ex back is to simply be yourself.  If you really want to have a shot at getting your ex back, you need to become the person that the ex was attracted to in the first place.  Too many people in this situation would be tempted to act macho or clingy, both of which are terrible things to do to an ex that has already expressed her desire to have space from you.  You need to act like your own honest self around your ex and make her see the great person that you are.  Only when she truly realizes how much she misses having you around will you have a chance at getting her back.

Less Contact is Better:
Another good tip for you to follow is that less contact with your ex is better.  This is actually another one of those tips that is counterintuitive for some people.  A lot of people would be tempted to try and get into as many situations with their ex as possible in order to have the maximum exposure to them.  This is something that is likely to push them out of your life for good.  Your ex broke up with you and that means that they voluntarily decided that they wanted space from you.  Give them that space and respect their privacy.  Be nice and yourself to them when you do get a chance to see them and maybe they’ll start to pick up the things that made them want you in the first place.

Move On Slowly:
Another thing that you can do is to move on slowly.  This is not something that’ll help you like the other tips on how to get your ex girl back.  What it’ll do for you however is start to put your mind back into healthy mode.  Obsessing after an ex is generally not a good idea, especially if the ex is the one that ended the relationship.  Most of the time, they’re not coming back to you.  If you move on slowly and start to realize that there are other fish in the sea, you will be much healthier mentally.  That’ll translate into much more positive body language which in turn will be noticed by your ex the few times that you see them.

Don’t Blow Opportunities:
The thing about attempts to get your ex back is that you can undo weeks or even months of decent work with one stupid line uttered in the heat of the moment.  If you do the things discussed above, your ex might start to take an interest in you again.  If she does, make sure that you keep on doing those things.  Be yourself, be honest and above all else do not pester them.  If you suddenly start to become needy and false, your ex will spot the change a mile away and you will destroy all the progress you’ve made.
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About Depression

By John James

The natural ways to treat depression are much cheaper than prescription drugs and are also considered to be efficient. These include practice, meditation, sleep, NLP and hypnosis also as having a balanced diet.

Exercise is one of the good ways to treat depression because it acts as a mood booster and is believed to be better than prescription medications in preventing the recurrence of mild to moderate depression.

These natural ways to treat depression are more preferred by a good deal of over prescription drugs because antidepressants and sleeping tablets can be addictive and may result to further and added difficulties. But if the sick person is already taking prescription antidepressants, you have to check with your physician if any of these alternative treatments will be good for your case.

Since stress assists trigger depression, you better similarly learn to manage stress effectively and avoid taking illegal drugs or those that were not prescribed by your doctor to refrain from substance abuse.

In a good deal of cases, supportive care that involves counseling sessions with your doctor is similarly as helpful as prescription antidepressants. It would likewise assist a lot if you get aid from family as well as from other individuals having this disorder. Other treatment being considered is the combination of behavioral, cognitive and interpersonal therapy.

You see, I thought it was my problem and that I would deal with it in my own way. But that didnt work out the way I planned. Because, I noticed I was angry all of the time. I was short with my children and I also was short with my wife also.

I tried treating my depression with "natural alternatives". I tried to get my serotonin levels, higher naturally, because that would pull me out of the depression. But again, things did not work out that way.

So I gave in and went to the doctor. I told them my difficulties and they put me on a drug for anxiety and depression since they both fine-looking much go hand-in-hand.

Men may experience a loss of sexual drive and this only adds to their sensations of worthlessness. They see this as a failure and an indication of their manhood. This could not be any farther from the truth. It is a medical condition that is caused from their depression.

Depression is a medical condition that needs to be treated. It is not a sign of weakness and must not be regarded a womans disease.

What causes depression is a lack of balance or state of disequilibrium of serotonin, a hormone, in the brain. It has been linked as a major contributor and a cause for somebody deciding to kill themselves.

The number of persons who are downhearted and die from suicide is roughly fifth-teen percent. Men are four times as likely as women to die from an attempted self-killing, altho women try it more often times but with failure. The elderly have the highest rate of successful suicides with sixty four dieing from suicide for everybody hundred thousand who die in general. The amounts of recorded suicides in the world have been steadily increasing for years now, along with the quantity of persons diagnosed with depression.

Whether or not you or an individual you acknowledge is suicidal you better seek professional assist for them. If what the age or gender, its not a healthful train of thought in the least. Whether or not see it as an undertake for attention and that they wont try. - 30535

About the Author:

Be sure to check out some of the other work from this author. His latest articles includes topics ranging from commit lozenges to other quit smoking now topics.

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Does my ex want me back Real questions with real answers

Here is an excerpt from a new article on HelpGettingBackTogether.com:

"I think this behavior in an ex girlfriend qualifies as a sign she wants you back. I think youre seeing her playing hard to get, and acting like she doesnt care.

Both of those behaviors are ones you see recommended for people who want to get back together with their ex. Since youre seeing it in her, some friend or website probably recommended it to her. Or maybe she even thought it up herself."

Read the full text here, for answers to real questions about whether or not your ex girlfriend wants you back: Does my ex want me back? - Real questions with real answers

Its also available here: (offsite)
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How to Impress a Girl and Make Her Fall in Love

If you talk to any number of super hot girls and approach them, you will start to see one thing over and over – she is going to test you. If you fail these tests, you will not not hook up with her. Period. You will join the piles of men she’s had to reject because they weren’t confident enough.

The GOOD news is, that there is a way to pass these tests nearly 100% of the time.

Most really hot girls’ tests are enough to make men run away with their tails between their legs. If you know the technique to passing, then you are going to be in the VERY small percentage of guys who make it through her defenses and are actually a sexual candidate.

How to Impress a Girl …

If you don’t know this one secret technique, you will fail these tests and never gain entrance into the world of attracting and sleeping with truly beautiful women.

These tests can be one of two types: compliance tests or congruence tests. Today, we are talking about compliance tests. First, let me explain a bit more about these tests and WHY hot women NEED them.

A compliance test is an act or a statement that checks to see if you are going to do whatever she wants. If you comply, she will have gained control over the conversation, the interaction, and you. It seems like they want you to fail these tests so they have the power, right?

Fortunately, that is not the case. When women give compliance tests, they really do want you to pass them. It is their way of filtering out a truly confident, attractive guy from the rest. It may sound strange, but beautiful women honestly can’t just look at a guy an say “he’s good looking, therefore he’s attractive.” They need much more because they are approached by so many different types of guys. A really attractive girl will get hit on 10-15 times A DAY.

That’s 3,650 times a year (conservatively) that an attractive woman is hit on. She will start to see patterns in the ways guys behave if they are actually confident or not, and that has nothing to do with looks.

The compliance test is really a test to see whether or not they’re going to be able to get away with whatever they want. Why you want to test this? Well, they want to find out whether or not you’re used to beautiful women hitting on you or whether or not you’re used to being with beautiful women.

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This is a very crucial concept. If you are used to being with beautiful women, you will not bend over backwards for a beautiful woman just because she wants something. Instead, you will respond in a way that sort of puts the compliance back on her.

Beautiful women are guaranteed to give you compliance tests and if you fail the compliance tests, you are guaranteed not to attract them. So it’s very crucial that you learn this.

How do you recognize compliance tests? Basically, look for any demand that she gives you within a short time of meeting that seems small, but gets you to follow.

One very classic compliance test is “buy me a drink.”

Women go for throat here when you’re in the bar because they don’t have a whole lot of time to figure out who is attracted and who is confident, who’s not. How you respond to “buy me a drink” is very crucial when you’re in a bar.

There are other small things like “why don’t you wait here while I go to the bathroom.” or “give me a kiss on the cheek” or even “will you take a picture for us?”

Anything that seems kind of harmless is typically a compliance test especially if it’s from a really beautiful woman and you don’t want to deny the compliance test, what you want to do is take control over it and add your own terms.

For example, if someone says, “Take our pictures.” Then you will say, “okay, I will but I want you to take one picture for you and one picture of how I ask you to take it.” So if they refused to do this, and you go, “Alright, well find some other guy.”

You will actually find some other guy to take the camera and say, “Hey man, can you take their picture?” And you just have them take your picture.
But usually they will say okay fine, you take the picture and you go “okay, now I want you to give me a sexy look.” Then take their picture. “Okay now, make a silly face”, take a picture. And continue to make them do different pictures as long as you can think of them.

Essentially what you’re doing now is you are getting compliance from them. This is crucial. This is called flipping the script and you will hear a lot about this. Flipping the script is one of the most powerful things that you can do to a woman that you don’t know and it will create a massive amount of intrigue and a massive amount of attraction that will be built.

So from now on, know and recognize when women is giving you a compliance test. Don’t stop and don’t reject the compliance test. Add your own terms.

When you start doing this, you are going to see the truly beautiful women in the bar start to treat you in a completely different way. You can actually watch other guys approach, get shot down and see it ruin their nights as you can easily navigate the sea of compliance tests and come out looking like a rockstar, making her more and more attracted to you since you’re the kind of guy who won’t just do exactly what she wants.

This is one of the “Sexual Triggers” that drive beautiful women wild. The rest of them are revealed in this presentation:

Watch this presentation ?- Discover ?stealthy? attraction secrets

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Win Ex Boyfriend Back From That Girl

You want to get your ex back because he was yours and for some reason she has him now. If you believe that the two of you should be together then it is very likely that you are. But how are you going to do this? You have to play it smart and dignified if you are going to win ex boyfriend back.

She may want to play nasty to keep him away from you but if you get nasty right back then all you will be doing is feuding and you are too big for that. What you want to do is show him that you are more mature than she is and more like a real woman while that other girl is immature.

If your first instinct is to fight, suppress it. Rise above it. Gain control of your emotions and the other girl may be exposed for being the immature girl she is. If you look favorable compared to her then it will only be too obvious that you are the better choice. Rather than resorting to curses, resort to positive feelings. Be the obvious better choice and you stand a greater chance to win ex boyfriend back.

If she treats him poorly then talk to his friends. They may be feeling the same way. IF it keeps going you may have grounds to have an intervention. Talk with their friends and find out with them what you could do together to get him out of that situation. If you want to win ex boyfriend back it will be easier if you have his friends working with you. Much of the best ways to win ex boyfriend back from her is going to be using his friends.

If it seems like he is under some love spells that she put on him, find out what it is that she has over him and try to find ways to show that he deserves better. Let his friends know that he deserves better. They may very well agree with you. If she has him obsessed with her and she is forcing him to spend time with her instead of them, they will want to get him back. If you are on their side, they will be on yours.

If are able to convince others who know him well that their friend is better off with you then you will have a lot smaller of a battle to fight. There will be so many people against that relationship that it could crumble under the pressure. The secret to having this work in your favor is to be behind the scenes. Let others do the work for you. That way if that other girl catches on you can make her seem like she is paranoid for thinking that you are causing all their problems.

The key to getting what you want, which is to get your ex back, is to have as many people on your side as possible. It doesnt have to be you against the two of them. It could be the two of them against the world. When their relationship falls apart, you will find it easier to win ex boyfriend back.
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How to get back with a girl who broke up with you

Another article excerpt from HelpGettingBackTogether.com:

"It seems like everything I read on the internet about how to get back with a girl who broke up with you is all one and the same. It makes me feel like I should come up with a new technique, so Im going to take a stab at that.

Here is what I came up with. Im laying it out as a 3 step process. "

Read the full text here, about how to get back with a girl who broke up with you: How to get back with a girl who broke up with you

Its also available here: (offsite)
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How To Treat Depression

By Barry Barker

The natural ways to treat depression are much for less than prescription drugs and are also considered to be efficient. These include practice, meditation, sleep, NLP and hypnosis in addition as having a balanced diet.

When it comes to natural supplements, the herb St. Johns wort is similarly considered efficient at managing sensations or changes of depression. Passion Flower is yet another remedy that helps dispel depressed feelings and supports a positive mental behavior.

Depression is a medical condition that needs to be treated. It is not a sign of weakness and ought not be looked at a womans illness.

Men can experience a loss of sexual drive and this only adds to their sensations of worthlessness. They see this as a failure and an indication of their manhood. This could not be any farther from the truth. It is a medical condition that is caused from their depression.

What causes depression is a lack of balance or state of disequilibrium of serotonin, a hormone, in the brain. It has been linked as a major contributor and a cause for an individual deciding to kill themselves.

Exercise is one of the good ways to treat depression because it acts as a mood booster and is believed to be better than prescription medications in preventing the recurrence of mild to moderate depression.

Yoga and acupuncture are also numerous of the other alternative ways to treat depression. Yoga assists alleviate the sensations or changes of depression because it quiets the mind and gets you into focus. The old practice of acupuncture then again, doesnt only restore your bodys emotional balance but similarly lessens the physical ache affiliated with depression.

Ive battled with depression over the years and depression is a major bummer. You see, I remember thinking I was just sad when it comes to everything and I didnt want to get out of bed. I didnt want to go to work. I did not want to deal with anybody and I just wanted humans to leave me alone. - 30535

About the Author:

If you liked this article, please check out my latest work. My latest article is about cheap personalised pens.

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To Win Back An Ex Avoid Making These Two Mistakes

Why is it sometimes so difficult to get your ex back?  No doubt youve tried your best to get your love back, but everything youve tried so far has ended in failure and now youre desperate and frustrated.

Well the real answer of why its difficult to win back an ex is really two fold.  The first point is that once youve been dumped by someone youre still in love with the balance of power immediately shifts their way.  The second point is that most people have no real idea what to do to successfully get back with someone they love and end up spending a great deal of time racing around doing all the wrong things.

Truth is, once your ex has the upper hand in a relationship you can find yourself forever trying to catch up to them and both of you know it. If your ex knows that you want them back often times they will make you work to get them back and they will often enjoy the drama of putting you through getting them back.  Plainly put, they have something that you desperately want and boy do they know it.

To get your ex back then, play it cool!  You dont have to declare straight away to your ex that you want them back.  You simply keep that intention to yourself and make every effort to distance yourself from them.
If youre reading this because you feel you know that your love is about to break up with you, then when the break up comes agree to it calmly and rationally and let them go.  Dont give them a clue that you desperately want them to stay.

When theyve gone, work at keeping yourself busy and occupied with other things that are not centered around your ex and your relationship.  Dont make yourself readily available to them to chat or do favors for them.  If they call, be polite, chat for a couple of minutes, but make it clear youre busy and have places to go.

Heres a warning for you!  Many people faced with trying to distance themselves from their exs simply cant do it!  They mistakenly believe that if they run around doing favors for their exs that their ex will see them as someone they need.  They think they will be able to prove and show their exs how much they love them by being there for them!  Wrong!  This seldom works because all that happens is that the ex either gets fed up with them hanging around in their life or the ex will start to take advantage.  So dont fall into that trap!

Keep your distance and what will begin to happen is that you will feel the power naturally swing your way and you will be in a far better position to get your ex back.
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Win Your Love Back The Example Of Katie And Brad

You can win your love and get your ex back.  Let me give you an example.

Katie made a major mistake.  She saw Brad talking to her best friend Andrea and thought he was flirting with her.  Katie worked herself into a fury and broke up with Brad.

It turns out that he was really consulting Andrea on how to put together a surprise romantic Valentine’s date.  He was really hurt that Katie would think so little of him and didn’t want to have to do anything to do with her after that. 

You may think that you can not win your love back after such a situation.  But let me tell you what Katie did to get Brad back.

Brad wasn’t talking to her, so she couldn’t discuss the situation with him.  But she could write him a letter.  She got some nice paper and hand wrote an apology.  She admitted that she had flown off the handle.  She also told him what she liked about him and about the relationship.  Finally, she expressed gratitude for his thoughtfulness in planning a romantic date.

Then, she shut up.  She didn’t call, text or email him for a week.  By not pestering him, she gave him time to work through his emotions. 

After a week, she sent him a short and sweet “thinking of you” email.  She kept it casual. 
Brad was obviously nuts about Katie because he was willing to go to the trouble of impressing her on Valentine’s day.  But, he was also hurt.  Because Katie had apologized and given him time to work through his emotions, he was able to respond to the “thinking of you” email.

The night he got the email, he called Katie.  She tried to keep things light and fun.  Brad appreciated that.  So, he suggested they meet for coffee and Katie agreed.

Katie went out of her way to look like a million bucks.  She wore the earrings Brad had given her for Christmas and she put on the perfume that he liked so much. 

Katie decided that she would only talk about positive things.  She especially tried to bring fond memories into the conversation.  She also asked about his family because that would reinforce their shared history and closeness.

Brad appreciated this.  He loved Katie and didn’t want things to end.  But, he didn’t want a repeat of the situation either.  He needed to be reassured that their life together wouldn’t be filled with needless drama.  He also needed to know that talking to another woman wouldn’t set off fireworks.

The couple agreed that they would take the relationship to a less intense level.  They would really court each other again.  They would stop taking each other for granted.

A year later, Brad and Katie agree that the break up may have actually saved their relationship over the long haul.  While Katie initially flew off the handle, her calm handling of the situation afterward made it possible for them to move on.  She showed you can win your love and get your ex back.
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