Tips On How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Getting dumped by your boyfriend is no fun and if youre still in love with him then youre probably desperately trying to find help on how to get your ex boyfriend back.  Following the tips Im about to outline for you is a great start that will set you on the right road to winning him back.

The worst thing that you can do in your quest to understand how to get your ex boyfriend back, is to get desperate and needy.  Desperate and needy spells out of control and high maintenance.  Boyfriends hate out of control and high maintenance because it means they never know what youll do and where youll do it and so theyre never at ease.  Letting your ex boyfriend see that youre out of control is a surefire way to drive him away, so if this is you, you need to stop.

Not only that in this state, you hand over far too much power to your ex boyfriend and you could find yourself taken advantage of big time.  So if you want him back, dont set yourself up for a possibly painful and frustrating time.

What you should also avoid is to make yourself too readily available to your ex as you try and work out how to get your ex boyfriend back.  Show him that you value and have pride in yourself and that youre not sitting home waiting for him to call.  Get out and about and show him that youve got your life together and that youve taken the breakup in your stride.  Having him believe anything else makes your goal to get him back an up hill battle that you will probably lose.  So dont sit at home obsessing about what he might or might not be up to.  Get yourself out!

If you want to get your ex back, make sure that youre looking after yourself.  After all, you need to give him something to want to come back to and that means not letting yourself go.  Instead of staying home consoling yourself with chocolate and soda make sure that you hit the gym and keep on hitting it!  Start eating healthily and be sure youre always looking your best when youre out and about.  Not only will all of this make you look good, but it will do the world of good for your self-esteem which has no doubt taken a huge blow through all of this.

Now everything outlined works together, so if youre after the best results dont apply each step in isolation.  They all impact on each other and thats how you should use these steps when youre trying to understand how to get your ex boyfriend back.
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Believe it The first step on the road to getting your ex back is No Contact

Believe it. The first step on the road to getting your ex back is: No Contact.

Doesnt that make sense? Dont you need time and distance to...
-Understand what went wrong?
-Heal your current pain so you can think straight?
-Evaluate your current situation, and make a plan? And then,
-Execute that plan?

But still, you have questions.

How long do you have to wait before you make contact again? How do you go about it? And what do you do in the meantime? To get the answers, you need an in-depth, thoroughly-documented technique to GET YOUR EX BACK!

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Announcing several new articles on the main site

• 
  
  
  How to flirt with your ex-girlfriend
  
  How to flirt with your ex-girlfriend: Your self-confidence has taken a big hit, but those old sparks just might come back if you bring a bit of playful flirting back to your relationship.
• 
  
  
  Will your ex want you back if you find someone new?
  
  Will your ex want you back if you find someone new? Beware; jealousy can be a two-edged sword; unless you’re honestly seeking a new relationship, setting up a ruse might just backfire.
• 
  
  
  Will my ex ever come back?
  
  Will my ex ever come back? How can I make sure that if he does, he stays?
• 
  
  
  Should you add your ex on Facebook?
  
  Should you add your ex on Facebook? How will it impact the future of your relationship?
• 
  
  
  No contact rule - How long?
  
  No contact rule - How long? How long you follow the no contact rule to get your ex back depends on many things.
• 
  
  
  Is it okay to sleep with your ex if you want him back?
  
  Is it okay to sleep with your ex if you want him back? Or will it just lead to another painful breakup?

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Openness To Healing Relationships

So many times people will find themselves in a relationship that used to be good, loving, and strong.  But somehow, somewhere, things changed.  Now they want to get that loving relationship back.  The first thing is making sure there is an openness to healing relationships. 

Most relationships that have broken down have done so over a period of time and usually because of hurts, many of which have been small.  These hurts have accumulated over a period of time, though, and now theyve taken on a life of their own. Over time we tend to shut ourselves off from our partner because we dont want to be hurt anymore.  Once that happens you will need to make sure you can open up again and attempt to heal the relationship.   Before you decide that you are going to fix your broken relationship you have to make sure that you are willing to open yourself up to the possibility of more hurt.

And, its not just about you either.  Is your partner willing to open up and work on the relationship?  Many times one partner is more interested in salvaging the relationship than another.  If thats the case and your partner has made it clear, either by what theyve said or their overall attitude, that they have no interest in working very hard to save the relationship, you might as well call it quits. You cant do it all yourself and you cant force your partner to try.

If, on the other hand, you both agree that you will try to work on the relationship the first thing youll both need to do is look at yourselves.  You need to look at yourself and your partner needs to look at themselves. You are trying to honestly figure out what part youve played in the breakdown of the relationship and whether or not you will be committed to making the changes necessary to fix it.  Again, both of you have to admit their part in the break down of the relationship as well as be willing to try to change their behavior.
After all that the next thing you will both need to do is talk to each other.  This doesnt mean yelling, intimidating, or getting mad.  It means and open, adult discussion about how you are feeling.  You each have to be able to honestly speak your mind and explain what you think has happened, how you think it can be fixed, what you are willing to do to help fix it, and how you are feeling overall.

This step is vitally important and potentially very dangerous.  This is the part where someone could get hurt feelings and that could lead to a big blowout.  In order for this to work, its crucial that you both give the other person time to talk, and not get mad or defensive about what they have to say.

If you are sure you and your partner really have an openness to healing relationships, and youre wiling to work on the steps Ive listed here than the two of you will have a real shot at getting back to a place in your relationship where you can be happy to be together, and happy to be back to normal.
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Tips On How To Get Your Ex Girl Back

Be Yourself:

The first good tip that you should follow on how to get your ex back is to simply be yourself.  If you really want to have a shot at getting your ex back, you need to become the person that the ex was attracted to in the first place.  Too many people in this situation would be tempted to act macho or clingy, both of which are terrible things to do to an ex that has already expressed her desire to have space from you.  You need to act like your own honest self around your ex and make her see the great person that you are.  Only when she truly realizes how much she misses having you around will you have a chance at getting her back.

Less Contact is Better:
Another good tip for you to follow is that less contact with your ex is better.  This is actually another one of those tips that is counterintuitive for some people.  A lot of people would be tempted to try and get into as many situations with their ex as possible in order to have the maximum exposure to them.  This is something that is likely to push them out of your life for good.  Your ex broke up with you and that means that they voluntarily decided that they wanted space from you.  Give them that space and respect their privacy.  Be nice and yourself to them when you do get a chance to see them and maybe they’ll start to pick up the things that made them want you in the first place.

Move On Slowly:
Another thing that you can do is to move on slowly.  This is not something that’ll help you like the other tips on how to get your ex girl back.  What it’ll do for you however is start to put your mind back into healthy mode.  Obsessing after an ex is generally not a good idea, especially if the ex is the one that ended the relationship.  Most of the time, they’re not coming back to you.  If you move on slowly and start to realize that there are other fish in the sea, you will be much healthier mentally.  That’ll translate into much more positive body language which in turn will be noticed by your ex the few times that you see them.

Don’t Blow Opportunities:
The thing about attempts to get your ex back is that you can undo weeks or even months of decent work with one stupid line uttered in the heat of the moment.  If you do the things discussed above, your ex might start to take an interest in you again.  If she does, make sure that you keep on doing those things.  Be yourself, be honest and above all else do not pester them.  If you suddenly start to become needy and false, your ex will spot the change a mile away and you will destroy all the progress you’ve made.
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10 Songs Ive Cried To

When I briefly pause and contemplate what I’m trying to achieve here, I realise all of this is pretty stupid. I am yet to feel pride for any of my articles which focus specifically on songs (2014’s The 20 Greatest Songs Of All Time was not even my opinion, and 2015’s The 100 Best Songs Of The Decade So Far was understandably laughed at by most people), and similarly, I am yet to like any of those autobiographical music pieces either (remember 2013’s 25 Albums That Changed My Life? No, me neither). But here I find myself writing not only a combination of those two regrettable themes, but doing so whilst exposing the weaker side of my human by admitting I have indeed cried before. Which, according to Robert Smith, boys don’t do.

Well, here’s the thing: I wrote this blog because I don’t have much time this month, and it’s a very easy filler piece, one which I can quickly shove out with minimal effort and then relax afterwards, so whatever, Becki. Also, Robert Smith has definitely cried before, I think thats what he was actually saying, and you just know the dude couldn’t take a punch to the face. Anyway, if nothing else, this article shows I have a heart and you should love and care for me.

1. Eric Clapton - Tears In Heaven

Its poetic how the first song I recall reducing me to tears, was in fact focused upon the very act of crying itself. My exact age is long forgotten, but I was definitely a mini-kiddie, sitting in my lounge, probably smiling along to this great little guitar piece, because I smiled a lot when I was a child. That’s when my father sadistically informed me that this emotionally driven single told the painful tale of loss and suffering, as Eric was mourning his four-year-old son who had fallen to his death from a 53rd story window. Well, naturally my delicate undeveloped heart couldn’t quite comprehend a father and son being forced apart in such a tragic manner, and I burst into a puddle of my own grievance for this poor man, while my own father just laughed at me. In fact, my dad still finds the story hilarious, and continues to tell this very narrative at every family gathering he can.

2. Placebo - My Sweet Prince

Fast forward many many years later when I was already a corrupt teenager, and naturally I knew my masculinity card removed all rights to weep at anything—let alone something as trivial as music. So I built a nice little wire fence around my feelings and swallowed any pathetic melancholy down into the depths of my stomach until they boiled over into an aggressive anger, which was a much more acceptable manly response, and still is to this day. However, my security system kinda stopped working when I was perhaps 14 or 15 and had dedicated a large portion to my life to smoking weed, which inadvertently crumbled these walls of defense one by one, rendering any sort of regular emotional balance impossible (or at least not as important as getting high). And that’s when this song came in, as my one friend and I got perhaps a little bit too stoned, put on this record, and shared a little snivel in each other’s arms. These sobs were less provoked by the song’s emotion, mind you, but rather by the overall beauty of the moment. “It’s like, a jellyfish, man,” I distinctly recall my mate telling me. Oh wow, soooo truuuuue.

3. John Legend - Ordinary People

And this is where things get dark, I’m sorry. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later, as by the time I was 21 years old, I could no longer sustain the harmony between reckless self destruction and the art of staying alive. I think anyone playing this type of dangerous game would inevitably find themselves crashing into one direction or the other, being forced to make the drastic decision whether they wanted to live or die. In my case, 2005 was coming to an end, and my life had melted into a string of shit. I wasn’t particularly interested in being myself and had resigned to letting myself slowly waste away until I hopefully disappeared completely. Which is why, thinking back, I’m surprised I made the last minute dive towards rescue like I did, and ended up checking myself into a clinic. Proud of my chosen path, I called up the love of my life and enthusiastically told her the news that I was finally going to get better. “That’s great,” she responded. “But I can’t do this anymore. It’s over.” In hindsight, it makes sense why she would break up with the miserable fuck I was, but at the time, it felt like I had been kicked at my lowest point. To combat this inner dilemma, I embarked on a four day binge without a blink of sleep, finally crashing out and then waking up some time later in a state from Satan, an hour before my dad was set to pick me up and take me to the loony bin. To kill the excruciating waiting time, I turned on the TV, and this Legend song was the first thing that came on. Damn, I remember it so well, it perfectly summed up all the things I felt for my ex in that moment, and when coupled with the nasty after-effects of the yesterdays indulgence (as well as the apprehension towards a two month lockdown with crazy people), I dramatically broke into pieces on the floor, sobbing my life out into the carpet, leaving this as probably the most bleak entry on the list. In fact, when I think about the song I’ve cried to, this is always the first that comes to mind.

4. The Beatles - For No One

Following on flawlessly from that last entry: a month after I had been committed to the mental ward, I started feeling pretty damn perky. I had been stuffed fill of professional home cooking, I had attended countless therapy sessions, I had met plenty of fuckups who were much worse than me, and I had completed the first stint with a badge of honour. The medication was working! My brain-chemicals were balanced for perhaps the first time in my life! And because of my good behaviour, I was granted a much more lenient second month, of which allowed such luxuries as music and visitors! Wow! Which was fucking perfect for me, because it was around here that I had become a terminal Beatlemaniac, and needed my regular fix of The Fab Four to keep my happy pouches wet. However, this song specifically had a bit of an opposite effect on me, as once again its words seemed to describe the latter days of my ex-girlfriend so accurately, and I cried to it more than once. But, being the vengeful asshole I am, I did utilise the track to my own gain, forcing the aforementioned girl to listen to the song herself when she visited me, whilst brutally explaining the turmoil she had put me through. She cried too that day. Bless her, really.

5. Tracy Chapman - Fast Car

In all fairness, there isn’t much of a story here. I was 23 years young, sitting at my desk during my very first job, and this song invited itself into my headphones. The weird thing is that I’d heard it many times before as one of my mother’s favourites, but I think on this occasion I was super hungover or something, and I totally choked up at the potent lyrics of hope and the charmingly simply guitar work. Thankfully, no one noticed my unprofessionalism, which was lucky, but I still happily consider this track to be one very cry-worthy composition which nobody should be ashamed of letting go to.

6. The Chariot - Cheek.

And then I guess I grew up and ran out of tears, because it wasn’t until 2012 that I can recall crying over a song again. In fact, to label this ‘a song’ is to almost do it a disservice, as it is essentially a soundbyte from the final Charlie Chaplin speech in The Great Dictator film, which has actually grown bigger wings and become even more popular on social media in recent times. However, my first introduction to the delivery was many years earlier, extended from the metalcore hands of The Chariot, who added to these powerful words with an aggressive strength only the metal genre could accentuate. And it picked at my tear ducts, not out of grief or distress, but out of encouragement as a member of the human race. It gave me incentive to take action. It inspired me to stand up to the harsh realities of our system. But then I put Rihanna back on and forgot what I was doing.

7. Dustin Kensrue - Pistol

The 27th of March 2012 was not only the day I met Mike Skinner from The Streets, but was also the day when my current brother-in-law proposed to my little sister. He did the deed by performing the above song to her, complete with a live band and in front of a large audience, which obviously takes guts and I respect the dude for it (even if anything to do with love is totally gross and makes me want to vomit). Perhaps these were the reasons as to why this particular rendition didn’t provoke my sadjuices, but it was the first time I’d even heard of the tune, and found myself compulsively revisiting the track over the course of the next few weeks. And each of these listens brought me back to the moment my sister was promised to another family, and that is what eventually produced a tiny cry at how beautiful life can be. And they lived happily ever after.

8. Eddie Vedder - Sleeping By Myself

Fucking girls, man! It was a few mere years ago, near the end of 2013, where I had my second (and last, please God) truly atrociously painful breakup, a result of a girl who I thought I loved, sleeping with a dude I thought was a friend. The dissolution hit me a touch harder than the one before in some respects, perhaps because I was an adult now, and such an irrational agony tends to be more scary when you are expected to have some control over your emotions. It got real bad too, I cried plenty without the need for any music, and there were even a few occasions where I’d completely forget to breathe, I’m not even joking. It was so so fucking horrible, I cannot express this enough, I was extremely depressed. Anyway, at some point during my self loathing, this song invaded my usual trusty playlist, and even though I had heard it a few times before, the lyrics suddenly related quite specifically to my situation at the time. I should have know there was someone else! I will forever be sad and lonely! I will be sleeping by myself tonight! Oh, Eddie, I hear you, buddy! ::cry emoji::

9. La Dispute - I See Everything

An unlikely candidate to sob like a child to would be La Dispute. Because, you know, theyre all post-hardcore and shit. But the lyrics on I See Everything are still some of the most genuinely gut-wrenching words that I have ever come across, turning my eyes damp on multiple occasions and never ever failing to infect me with goosebumps. I don’t know, call me a softy, but songs about kids dying from cancer kinda bother me a bit. A really hard to comprehend factor of life. A scarcely addressed topic in the music world.

10. The Beatles - In My Life

This is a wonderful choice for our send off, because as I previously mentioned, I’ve been a Beatles fanatic for many years now, and the doctors say they can’t do anything to help me. However, there are some of the group’s more highly regarded songs which I never really connected to as much as the general population, and In My Life was definitely one of those offenders for a long time. I can’t accurately explain it now, but I think said song just seemed like some run-of-the-mill Lennon throwaway, forcing an aura of nostalgia without ever quite getting there. Well, that was until 2014, when my little sister married that Pistol boy in one of the most beautiful ceremonies I’ve ever had the pleasure of attending. Afterwards at the reception, the bride and bride’s daddy (my daddy too!) took their customary dance, which as you had already assumed, was held to this song. And then suddenly ... within that context ... it made so much sense. I’m not sure if Lennon even considered his composition to be interpreted from the standpoint of a dad and daughter connection as he hands her over to another man, but the idea simply destroyed me. I burst out, and looked over to my mother for reassurance. Her cheeks too were streaming in liquid, and so we hugged and that felt a bit better.


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Need Some Tips On Making Up With My Boyfriend

When making up with my boyfriend I tried to remember these tips that my older and wiser friend had given me. 

Myself and my ex got back together so I hope they work for you too.

1) Men dont like chit chat: Generally speaking men don’t like to talk in depth about their feelings and  forcing the issue will just cause them to clam up even more. So when you are trying to get back together, don’t force him to analyze what went wrong. If he behaved badly but is willing to apologize, accept it and move on. 

2) Men can only concentrate on one thing at a time.  This is really true so don’t try and fight it. Very few  men can multitask and it is their genetics that are to blame so shouting at him is pointless.  The sooner  you accept that your man cannot listen to you while reading his newspaper or watching TV the better. Most of the time, he is not ignoring you on purpose. The more you try to understand that this is the way he is programmed the less arguments you will have.

3) Men like toys. The joke is that men never grow up and show it by still playing with toys.  Most men love to build things and start DIY jobs. Not all of them like to finish these jobs which can cause problems at home. Let your man indulge his hobbies, within reason. You can spend time with your girlfriends while he is fishing or building a boat. By compromising like this, he will probably be much more willing to spend time with you doing things together that you both enjoy.

4) Don’t assume that your man knows that you want to make up with him. Men in general tend to be a bit slow in picking up signals especially about relationships. For this reason, you sometimes need to be very direct  and tell them exactly how you feel. Men dont like games unless they understand the rules like in Golf or Chess. Us women change the rules on dating more often than men change their shirts so we need to give them a break if they get a little confused. 

5) Have you heard the joke - "Why does it take loads of sperm to fertilize one egg?  Because they refuse to  stop for directions!"  I know the men in my life would prefer to get lost, than admit defeat and stop to ask for directions.  Generally men find it very hard to admit they are wrong. If you question what they say, they can believe you are implying they have done something wrong.  This can cause problems in modern relationships as women are so used to being the boss at work and giving others directions. 

I am not suggesting that women have to become door mats or defer to their partners. But a little understanding of genetics goes a long way to help resolve the question of making up with my boyfriend.
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Moving On Break Up Advice

Keeley knew it was time to be moving on.  Break up with her boyfriend Joe had just happened.  She knew there was no chance of getting back together, so she had to get on with her life.

First, Keeley tried talking to her friends about the break up.  At first, they were sympathetic.  But soon, they became bored with the topic and wanted to talk about their own issues.  Keeley became frustrated at their lack of support.

Her mom, on the other hand, couldn’t talk about anything but Joe.  She thought Keeley was insane to let him get away.  It sometimes seemed like her mom had been more in love with Joe than Keeley ever was.

After a few weeks, Keeley decided to go to a therapist for five sessions.  Over the course of a few weeks, she began to identify the problems which had led to the break up and plan out a strategy for moving on.
The first thing she did was to for the moving on break up was to get rid of all of Joe’s things.  Some, like the leather jacket he loved, she gave back.  Other things like his toothbrush she just threw away.  And, he had given her some nice jewelry, but she decided to box these up and store them until she became less emotional about Joe.

Next, she started doing things that she didn’t feel comfortable doing when Joe was around.  For instance, Joe would never go to the ballet with her.  Keeley had trained as a classical dancer and she appreciated Swan Lake and Giselle.  When a performance came to town, she got a couple of girlfriends together and they went.  This is not something she would have done if she had been together with Joe.

She also decided to join an adult dance class.  Partially, it got her out of the house two nights a week.  It also got her back into shape.  But, she was able to meet new people as well.  She liked the comraderie of the class.
She also explored new passions.  She never knew much about fine wines.  Joe had preferred beer and she had usually just ordered the house white.  But when she heard a local winery was offering a wine tasting class, she decided to join.

Over the course of five weeks, she developed a palate.  She began to appreciate the difference between a young wine and an old wine. 

And, she met Rodney.  Rodney was a good looking lawyer who was interested in good wine and fine food.  He was also interested in Keeley.

Part of how Keeley knew that she was getting over the pain of losing Joe was that she was interested in Rodney.

Keeley doesn’t know whether the relationship with Rodney is going to be long term or a short term rebound fling.  But she does know that she doesn’t miss Joe when Rodney is around.  And that’s moving on break up advice!
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To Get Back With Ex Face Up To Your Mistakes

To get your ex back after youve made mistakes, means youre no doubt going to have to face some hard home truths!  As sure as eggs is eggs making mistakes in relationships means you have to fix them and apologize for those mistakes before there can be any making up.

When you decide you want to get back with ex, you must be ready to face not only what has gone wrong with the relationship, but also your part in the break down of the relationship.  If you made mistakes then dont beat yourself up for that.  We all make them, its what you do after the mistake thats important.
So sit down on your own and take some time to go through what happened and what were the issues that led up to what happened.  Dont concern yourself too much with what you see as your exs mistakes, leave that for the future.  Only concern yourself right now with what you can influence.

Whatever mistakes you find in your past behavior, can they be forgiven?  Dont be too eager to get down on yourself and believe that your mistakes are basically unforgivable.  You would be surprised at the situations that couples find themselves in and that they later recover from.  So dont think that your mistakes are beyond forgiveness.  There is always hope!

Try and pin point what was happening in your life at the time that led you to make the mistakes, especially if it was completely out of character for you. Remember what I said about facing hard truths, if you want to get back with ex, then you need to do this.

You might discover that you were under certain stresses and strains.  Perhaps you were under threat at your job?  Or you werent physically feeling yourself? Or perhaps there were other family issues.  Whatever you find when you look back at what happened, you will eventually need to sit down with your ex and explain in detail just what you have found.

If your mistakes were the result of you just being thoughtless or selfish, then this is something about you and your character that can quite easily be fixed.  It will take ongoing monitoring but if you are sincerely committed to get your ex back, then it is going to be worthwhile.

When you have come to the point where you have begun to gain perspective about your mistakes, then call your ex and arrange to meet.  It is usually better to arrange a face to face meeting somewhere public and neutral because then there is less chance of either of you becoming emotional.

So, make sure that you stay calm and focused on what you want to say.  Apologize and ask for forgiveness and then listen carefully to what your ex has to say.
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To Win Back Ex Boyfriend Try Dating Someone Else

To get your ex back, try dating someone else!  Your first thought is that that doesnt sound right!  It sounds counter-intuitive and youre flat out not going to do it!  Right?  Well what if its the right thing to do and by doing it you move yourself closer to getting back together with your ex boyfriend? Would you do it then?

Let me explain!  When youve been dumped by someone youre still in love with, instinctively your first thoughts are to chase after them and to beg and plead with them to take you back.  Its pretty much a mad panic on your part to get right back into the relationship before your ex boyfriend forgets about you and or meets someone else.

Well pretty much you need to understand that your ex boyfriend is not going to forget about you just because the two of you broke up.  Plus if he still has strong feelings for you, just because hes dating someone else it doesnt mean theres no way back for the two of you.  So theres really no need to panic!

Instead to get your ex back that taking some time out is the right thing to do and take that time out.  During this time away from your ex boyfriend, be sure not to contact him in anyway.  Just let him get on with whatever hes doing and you do the same.

Once you accept that youre not going to be contacting your ex boyfriend, its time to put on your best outfit, reconnect with your friends and get out and have some fun.  Not only will this keep you busy and stop the temptation to call your ex, but it will also boost your confidence no end.

If you meet someone who you feel youd like to date, dont let your desire to win back ex boyfriend stop you.  Remember, youre not actually in a relationship with your ex, youve broken up and youre a free agent.  So if youre emotionally ready to have some fun, go ahead and have some!

What you should do first and foremost though, is to make it clear to whoever you decide to date that youre not interested in anything heavy or full on, you just want to have some fun.

What you should also be clear about in your own mind, is that this is not about making your ex boyfriend jealous.  It is only about keeping your spirits high and helping you come to terms with the situation with your ex boyfriend.  You never know, you might enjoy this new guy so much that you decide that getting back with your ex boyfriend is not what you want to do after all.  Equally using this time apart to explore how you feel, can be a real way to get your ex back.
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My 5 Favourite Things On The Internet

I know what you are thinking: the internet is a pretty big place. Well, bravo, genius, did you come up with that all by yourself? Or did I just come up with it for you? It doesn’t matter, the fact is that, yes, it is a big place. I myself reached the end of the internet once, and it was a complete mess of long-forgotten cat images, a bunch of gore videos primarily focusing on genitalia, and a gigantic demon with Nicolas Cage’s face who claimed to have my bank details. It took a while to get home from there.

Just listen to me for one second. While the task of writing a list such as this may seem impossible to some one like you, I am no ordinary person. For example: the ring and pinkie toe on my right foot do not bend. There are other things too, Im sure. I reckon by now this introduction has reached a decent enough length so that it wraps around the main image, and now I will move on.

05. The Beetlejuice Twitter Bot

Imagine my horror when, upon writing this entry, I discovered that this once beloved Twitter account was now defunct, the genius retiring the idea around August this year. GODDMANIT, WHY DOES EVERYTHING I LOVE END UP LEAVING ME?

But even if its existence has evaporated into the afterlife, its presence still lingers in the joy it once granted me, hence why I cherish its memory by keeping this point intact. I just feel sorry for you lot only discovering this anomaly now, as you will never know the joy of tweeting the words “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” only to have this bot proudly spring into action upon your mentions, proclaiming “ITS SHOWTIME!”, just like in the mooovie! Lolyay!

A moment of silence for its passing, and while we do that, let’s look at some other funny botty Twitter accounts in hopes that this passage justifies its worth afterall.

Yes, You’re Racist
An account which calls out people who tweet “I’m not racist, but...” because any sentence that starts that way is more than likely racist.

Your in America Bot
An account which corrects people when they say something to the effect of “Your in America, speak English!” Oh, the irony.

Stealth Mountain
Similarly, this account corrects people when they say “sneak peak” instead of “sneak peek”. I enjoy such things.

04. The Same Photo of Jim Carrey Every Day Facebook Page

Nothing will brighten up your life more than the same photo of Jim Carrey, every single morning, delivered straight to your Newsfeed. Trust me, I live a very active and rewarding existence, but when this post shows its smiling face, I know my beautiful day has truly just begun. And I am not alone, as the page itself boasts over 150,000 Likes, while the identical image racks up 1000s of further Likes on a daily basis—many of which are my friends. They probably dont know this, but I desperately spend most of my early hours attempting to Like said post before they get a chance, as if some sick competitive ritual.

However, the secret magic of this image lies not in the daily delivery, but in the comments. Here you will find many different users honouring the practice of routinely commenting the exact same thing every day, to the point of madness. There are many, but the most popular by far revolve around Cody’s story, like so:

“Its good to see that in this world of changing chaos, that there are some things that will never change” - Cody Hendricks (close to 200 Likes a day)
“Lean on me, when youre not strong. And Ill be your friend.” - The Official Page’s response to Cody Hendricks (over 50 Likes every day)
“Im not the Cody youre looking for.” - Cody Mann (around 100 Likes a day)

Naturally, it doesn’t end there, and so I encourage you to go forth and find your own favourites, whilst welcoming the safe regularity of this wonderful distraction.

03. Spinal Tap’s IMDB Rating Goes to 11

If you haven’t seen This Is Spinal Tap, you should. Immediately. Stop reading, find it online, watch it, and then come back. Do not eat nor sleep nor speak nor fuck your boyfriend nor lick your teeth until you get this done, and then thank me in the comments below, to which Ill respond with "you’re welcome".

Did you do what I said? If so, great! I have a few more things I’d like you to do, mail me for details. And please continue reading.
If you have already seen the mockumentary, good on ya! You understand the importance of keeping up-to-date on significant cult classics. And please continue reading.
However, if you have chosen to proceed without viewing the film, you are an idiot, and I experience no guilt as I ruin this particular scene for you, primarily because the “up to eleven” idiom has become such a large part of popular culture parodies, that you’ve missed far too many jokes already. In a way, I’m actually just helping you out. Once again, you’re welcome.

ANYWAY, a very quick summary: the scene in question from the film presents guitarist Nigel Tufnel, as he shows-off the Spinal Tap Marshall amplifiers, which go to volume 11 rather than 10. It’s one louder.

Here is that exact same thing I described, except the actual video clip, which I probably should started have with.

Which brings us to the great dudes at IMDB, who recognised the significance of such a potent line, and took it upon themselves to ensure that this movie’s rating went to 11. God bless you all, really.

02. All Wikipedia Articles Lead to Philosophy

Unlike the other entries on this list, the “All Wikipedia Articles Lead to Philosophy” phenomenon is just that: a phenomenonon. This was not some intentional man made lolsies, but rather, something that just kinda ... happened.

It works like this: by clicking on the very first (non-parenthesized, non-italicised, non-external) link in the main text of any Wikipedia article, and then continuing to do so as you ride along subsequent articles, you have a 94.52% chance of ending up on the Philosophy page (usually within 23 clicks). Granted, you may get stuck in a loop or fall on a linkless piece, but that more than likely won’t happen. Try it yourself! Go to a random article and start clicking! Count your steps! Tell your friends! LOVE YOURSELF.

And you know what the best part about this is? Nobody is entirely sure why it happens, ooooooh. However, there are some theories, the most popular of which stating that (due to the Wikipedia Manual of Style guidelines on how to write the lead section of an article) contributors are encouraged to start an article by defining its topic, leading the user into a wider more umbrella subject. And seeing as philosophy is known as the "mother of all sciences", I guess it kinda makes sense that every road leads there. Man, that’s some deep shit.

01. Futurama Neutral Balance YouTube Likes

I have no strong feelings one way or the other.

Which is to say, I do! I really do! I mean, what is going on here? WHO KEEPS DOING THIS????

It’s pretty much the simplest thing ever: Six years ago some dude uploaded a 4 second video to YouTube, a clip from Futurama titled Neutral Response, and the internet decided they liked this. In fact, they liked it so much that theyve watched it over 4,850,000 times. And, before we knew it, a suicidal mission had developed, one to maintain the neutral balance, proving that we all have strong feelings about having no strong feelings one way or the other. If you’re confused, just look at the Likes and Dislikes, and then you’ll be part of the team. Godspeed.

Of course, as is the nature with such a fragile system, it has become a little bit of a war, and there will always be those kids on the playground who want to watch the world burn. With that in mind, you might be unfortunate enough to see the Likes/Dislikes sway one way or another, much to everyone’s embarrassment. However, generally by simply refreshing the page, you should find that order has been swiftly restored. If not, maybe try help rectify the situation yourself? Be a pal. Make yourself useful for once.

Regardless, it’s my favourite thing on the internet, excluding this one porno video where Hillary Scott takes it ass to pussy over and over again, risking an infection but proving she is a professional whose priority is to please the part of my perverse brain which has retarded beyond recognition.


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Here Are A Few Thoughts On How To Improve Self Esteem

By Eve Francis

Lets face it, we are all caught up in the meat market mentality that "you can never make another first impression"; or "clothes make the man"; statements like these bely the fact that we are all intensely aware of how we come across to everyone else out there that crosses our path, and our self esteem or lack of it, is built on this awareness and the reactions we get from other people.

If you were constantly told you were a failure, or were ugly, or stupid; after time, your self esteem would be at such a low level that you felt negatively about everything and then others would perceive that and begin to treat you in the same way, or shy away from being in contact with you at all. And the more that feeling is solidified in your inner core and thoughts, the more it becomes a part of your persona and affects everything you do. Positive self esteem is simply feeling good about yourself and your lot in life, and having that feeling constantly bolstered by the folks around you.

There are zillions of books in print molding away on bookshelves all over the world, telling us the ins and outs of how to improve our self esteem, but in reality all we need to know us the Golden Rule, and practice it. Good self esteem comes from feeling positively about your station in life and interacting with others in a positive way so they in turn feel the same about you. A negative self esteem is when you feel you have no purpose in life, and disdain the life you are living----quite often this feeling is accompanied by depression and listlessness, and who wants to spend much time around someone feeling like that.

The Golden Rule is a great motivator for everyone to remember, because it embodies a large factor in what makes people tick in their interactions with each other. If you treat others as you would want them to treat you; with respect, understanding, genuine interest in what they had to say and their ideas; then they will usually respond in kind with you and as a result you feel very positively about yourself in that response and your self esteem is bolstered. People who are driven, know what they want out of life and go after it, and in the course of their lives treat others fairly; are those that others want to be associated with because they exude success.

Getting hung up on how people look and first impressions making decisions for you is a stumbling block that a lot of people suffer from; and getting past this hurdle is critical for those who want to learn how to improve their self esteem. If your core values are in place, you know what is right and wrong, and you treat others fairly in your dealings with them, then you will see a very positive response from them in what you have to say and as a result, your inner feelings toward yourself will expand in a positive manner and so will your self esteem. If we could all be more human in our dealings with each other and less negative, we would all possess good self images and the world would be a vastly different place.

How to improve self esteem is a lesson that we are learning almost all of our lives on this planet. We start out as a blank slate as far as feelings about ourselves, and as we grow and interact with others, we begin to develop an image of ourselves as others react to us and whether or not they want to be around us; and this gradual self awareness of the actions of others begins to define how we feel about ourselves in a positive or negative way----in other words, our self esteem.

Success in life is measured by several different factors, and a positive self esteem is essential to reaching those goals that define success. One of the first things someone must do in order to progress upward and onward, is to learn how to improve his/her self esteem and then use that knowledge to make things happen for the better. Folks with a good self image and lots of positive self esteem go farther and faster than those that are held back by fear, insecurity, and feelings of ineptness or inability to perform because those folks see themselves as losers rather than winners. - 30535

About the Author:

Eve Francis writes on topics such as Self Esteem Tests. For more information on Self Esteem The Off Spring visit our site.

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Mixed signals from my ex

Would you say youre getting "mixed signals from my ex"? Thats something you want to look out for, especially if youre hoping to get back together. The trick is, if your ex is sending mixed signals, you have to figure out which way theyre leaning. Is it that your ex wants you back, or is just confused.

What are some examples of mixed signals?

My ex touches me

This is the strongest mixed signal of all. If you spend time in your exs company, and your ex keeps putting a hand on your body, or giving you back rubs, or hugging you -- you certainly have reason to be confused.


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Tips On How To Win Back Lost Love

To win back lost love and get your ex back is not at all natural for everyone and its no wonder because its not something most of us have any real understanding of how to successfully do. However, if you want to get back with someone who youre still in love with, then it is something youre going to have to understand and implement.

Once your ex has left the relationship and you know you want them back, its time to start sorting out your head in order to get them back.  No doubt there has been drama and emotional turmoil in the run up to the breakup and during the actual breakup.  If youre going to win back lost love youre going to need to sort yourself out and do so on your own.

It is vital that you do not involve your ex as you attempt to clear your mind, because you need space and distance from your ex and they from you.  So, if you are still in any form of contact with your ex then break off that contact now.  Contact will only make you vulnerable.  If youre vulnerable then you become someone whose ability to make rational and calm decisions becomes impaired.  Get out from under your ex and stand on your own two feet until you can honestly say that you are through the worst of the initial breakup.

Equally, do your best to avoid spending too much time on your own.  Because as much as you need to be away from your ex, you also need to have people around you. Spending too much time on your own brings a real risk of you becoming depressed and low.  You might also find that if youre on your own too much, then you can struggle with the temptation to call or try to see your ex.  So find your friends.  If you need to make new friends, then do so.  Do anything to avoid being home alone night after night.

To win back lost love and get your ex back, make sure that you are clear about the mistakes that were made in the relationship by you.  Yes your ex no doubt made their fair share of mistakes, but for now your concern is your own behavior since that is the only thing you can realistically control and affect.

Come to terms with your weaknesses and make sure that if you need to do some work on yourself that you put in place the right mechanisms to do so. That may involve discussing your situation with a professional or it might mean changing the way that you cope with certain situations.

Whatever you need to do to win back lost love and get your ex back, if you are serious, then you need to get on and do it before its too late.
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To Win Ex Boyfriend Back You Might Need To Work On Yourself

So youve just heard through friends that your ex boyfriend, who youve never really got over, is dating someone else and hearing it cuts deep.  Your first thought is that you must get your ex back before he gets too serious with this other girl.

Well take it easy and dont go rushing head long into this, what you have on your side that the current girlfriend does not have is history!  In your effort to win ex boyfriend back remember, history can sometimes over ride everything else and take precedence. 

Now think about that history, those good times with your ex boyfriend. How good were they really, because clearly something went terribly wrong.  With time we often slide on the old rose colored spectacles.  So be sure that your memories are grounded in reality and not fantasy. 

If youre not sure, before you go full on trying to win ex boyfriend back, ask a good friend who will tell you the truth and not only what you want to hear. Weigh up what your friend says and what you honestly know and feel and then make your decision about what you want to do.

If what you discover is that certain aspects of your behavior were primarily to blame for the break down in your ex relationship, then you need to find ways of amending  that behavior.  Theres no point in trying to get back together with your ex if the reason he left you is still staring you both in the face.  So deal with what needs to be dealt with on your part before you make any real attempt at reconciliation. 

Assuming that you decide to go ahead and try and get your ex back, you then need to make contact with him.  Call him and ask if you can meet up with him somewhere neutral.  Dont let it sound as though you are going to drop anything too heavy on him because you dont want to frighten him off at this point.

To win ex boyfriend back make sure that when you meet him, you explain to him that you have thought long and hard about what happened in your relationship. You have done some work and sorted yourself out and you have found that you still have really strong feelings for him.  Tell him youd like another chance.

Give him the space to explain how he feels and what he wants.  Dont get emotional or angry if you dont hear what you want to hear.  If you need to give him time to think things over, then do that.  Dont rush him, just leave and wait for him to call you.  With any luck, youll get the call you want and youll be back together.
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To Win Back An Ex Avoid Making These Two Mistakes

Why is it sometimes so difficult to get your ex back?  No doubt youve tried your best to get your love back, but everything youve tried so far has ended in failure and now youre desperate and frustrated.

Well the real answer of why its difficult to win back an ex is really two fold.  The first point is that once youve been dumped by someone youre still in love with the balance of power immediately shifts their way.  The second point is that most people have no real idea what to do to successfully get back with someone they love and end up spending a great deal of time racing around doing all the wrong things.

Truth is, once your ex has the upper hand in a relationship you can find yourself forever trying to catch up to them and both of you know it. If your ex knows that you want them back often times they will make you work to get them back and they will often enjoy the drama of putting you through getting them back.  Plainly put, they have something that you desperately want and boy do they know it.

To get your ex back then, play it cool!  You dont have to declare straight away to your ex that you want them back.  You simply keep that intention to yourself and make every effort to distance yourself from them.
If youre reading this because you feel you know that your love is about to break up with you, then when the break up comes agree to it calmly and rationally and let them go.  Dont give them a clue that you desperately want them to stay.

When theyve gone, work at keeping yourself busy and occupied with other things that are not centered around your ex and your relationship.  Dont make yourself readily available to them to chat or do favors for them.  If they call, be polite, chat for a couple of minutes, but make it clear youre busy and have places to go.

Heres a warning for you!  Many people faced with trying to distance themselves from their exs simply cant do it!  They mistakenly believe that if they run around doing favors for their exs that their ex will see them as someone they need.  They think they will be able to prove and show their exs how much they love them by being there for them!  Wrong!  This seldom works because all that happens is that the ex either gets fed up with them hanging around in their life or the ex will start to take advantage.  So dont fall into that trap!

Keep your distance and what will begin to happen is that you will feel the power naturally swing your way and you will be in a far better position to get your ex back.
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Using reverse psychology in your relationships

From Reverse psychology in relationships:

Before you can put reverse psychology into practice, you first have to understand what it actually is. If used incorrectly it simply wont work, or could end up making a situation worse.

Simply put, reverse psychology is the mind-bending technique of giving somebody the impression you want a particular outcome, when in fact you want the opposite.

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ReallyHow To Get Ex Girlfriend Back

How to get ex girlfriend back depends heavily on your situation. Did she leave you? Did you leave her? What was the reasoning for the breakup? Why was it that the romance ended? How did it come to be that this relationship ended?

If she left you the the way how to get ex girlfriend back is to find out what it was about you that caused her to breakup with you. Did you treat her poorly in any way? Then it could be that you dont deserve her, unless you make some serious changes. Dont let the changes be superficial. Look closely at yourself and use this as a moment to really step back and see how you can improve the way you treat others.

What were the complaints that she had of you when she left you? Take a close look at those criticisms and ask others if there is any truth to what she said. How can you figure out how to get ex girlfriend back if you arent willing to change what drove her away in the first place.

Did you leave her? If you made a mistake and let her go and now are trying to figure out how to get ex girlfriend back, then you just need to see how badly you hurt her. Find out if she is holding any resentment towards you because of what you did. It could be that she needs a little time away. If that is the case then let her have it. Dont be too far away but dont smother either.

You are going to have to convince her that you know you made a huge mistake and that you arent going to do that again. The best way to do that is to give her the space and time to see for herself that you arent just going to run off to the next one. She has to see that you are willing to stick it out. You made a mistake, you have to deal with the consequences which may mean you waiting for a long period of time. If she is really worth it then you will do it.

If the reason that the you and your girlfriend broke up is because the relationship just dissolved then, when you talk to her, let her know that you really want to get back together but you want to work hard to make it happen. You will have to convince here that what you two had was really special and that you are willing to go and get relationship advice to make it work. If she feels that you really believe that it is worth working on and that you are willing to get help to make it work then she may need no more convincing.

The real way how to get ex girlfriend back is to just take a good, honest look at what happened to bring the love to an end. Look at the mistakes that the both of you made, especially yours, and do something about it. You cant do anything to change her but you can change yourself and when she sees that you are willing to do it you may have found how to get your ex back.
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