Tips To Get Exgirlfriend Back

Regardless of whether your girlfriend broke up with you or if the decision to end your relationship was mutual, you may be feeling that the break-up was a mistake.  It isn’t unusual to regret breaking up with your girlfriend; nor is it unusual to want to get exgirlfriend back.  These feelings of wanting to rekindle a past relationship can occur shortly after a break-up or they may spring up several weeks or months afterwards.
If you want to get your ex back, you are going to want to try some of the following tips.  Because every break-up and every relationship is different, some of these may not apply to your situation; however, be sure to look all of the tips over thoroughly.  If you do not approach the idea of reuniting with your ex cautiously and with care, you may blow your chances of getting her back.

Try these tips as you work toward to get your ex back:

• Admit your fault in the break-up, as well as anything you did wrong during the relationship.  Although even the most heartfelt apology is unlikely to get your ex to run back into your arms, it is a good first step.

• Be kind whenever you see her.  Speak nicely, even though you may be hurting and angry—you need to rise above those feelings and understand her needs at the moment.  This will show her that you still care about her.

• Be an excellent listener whenever she talks to you.  Let her express herself and do not interrupt.  Unless she asks for your opinion, do not tell her what she should do or how she should act.

• Think about what you did during the relationship that may have helped to lead up to the break-up.  Work on changing these habits.  For example, if you determine that your ex was likely troubled by your lack of career goals, perhaps you can visit a career counselor and find a job path in which you are interested.  Your ex will see that you are working on changing the habits she disliked--and this will make you attractive to her.
Just as there are suggestions of what you should try, there are also some things you should definitely not do as you try to get exgirlfriend back.  Avoid doing any of these:

• Do not appear needy or emotionally desperate when you see or speak with your ex.  This is not attractive at all.

• Do not follow the cues you see in the movies--sending flowers and serenading her at her workplace are sure to annoy her, not attract her.

• Do not go out with other women if you want to get your ex back.  This sends the message that you do not miss your ex and that you are over the past relationship.  And even if you are careful, your ex will find out that you have seen other women.

By following these tips, you should be able to work towards to get your ex back.  Good luck!
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The Power Of Knowing About Your Past Life

By Susan M Mann

The idea of reincarnation; that you had a past life, or several - is an ancient one, and one that is found on every corner of the earth: Japanese, Australian aborigines, Africans, modern Wiccans and many other New Age religions, all believe that you have past lives, and that your past lives influence who and what you are today.

What you are now and who you believed you are now is an influence of your past life including your health, your mental well being, and your social interactions are all influenced by your past life. This is why it is important to know yourself, who you are and what you are in the past, to be able to make yourself better and stronger in this current life.

How do you know if you have a past life? You may never know, however, in many cases disturbing memories or dreams that do not belong to you may visit you while you are awake. Reincarnation is a very popular belief among many individuals. However, when doing the math, it makes a great deal of sense that there are some new souls. Other indications include:

* When you saw or learned about a particular culture or arts, you already had a deep connection or attraction to that thing. Based on reincarnation idea, this may be because you were from that region or from that era. To be fully sure of this, you may want to learn some more culture or arts and discover your reactions and the effect it gives you; it may be linked to your origin in your past life.

* Unusually strong emotions concerning a historical incident, for example, may cause you to become misty eyed, such as looking at Washington Crossing the Delaware but not at any other revolutionary art, may indicate that you were involved in such a past life incident.

* Allergies or irrational fears that are not triggered by a childhood incident may be an indicator. There are particular physical and psychological issues may indicate a past life experience.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, and just the fact that you have one of these indicators does not mean you are remembering a past life. Look for patterns in your life, ranges of things that attract you for no good reason, and you may start to home in on similarities that will help you piece together an idea of what your past life or lives may have been.

Self-hypnosis can help you to access the past life you once had. If you can not do it, ask for somebody to help you through hypnosis. Most of the therapists who do past life regression are specialists as well in helping people know their past life. They usually do it by using a form of deep hypnotic procedure.

When you made decision regarding this, go for the process that gives you a deep relaxation method. This is the first technique that you should get before the therapist proceed to the past life regression.

There is nothing significant to worry over in the terms of safety, since what should happen is that you are able to experience a past life just as vividly as if you were actually going back in time. It may not be as intense as described here; however, you should be able to experience feelings and shadow of your past life.

Pleasant memories trigger pleasant feeling; while past life memories that are bad generally trigger the same type of feelings, such as having a bad dream. You wake up feeling uncomfortable, similar to having a nightmare. Keep in mind, however that if there are any bad memories, they are an essential aspect of the past life regression experience.

What is important is remembering a past life. Once you remember, you are able to move on in this life. Problems occur when there is subconscious suppression of these memories. Acknowledging and accepting what happened in the past can aid you, while experiencing you present life with an entirely different point of view.

The philosophy of Karma says that when we are good examples in one life, while being committed to positive and kindly acts offer us good karma. As a result, for good, we receive good vibrations in our future lives, unless we become bad examples. If this happen, then our personal Karma changes and negative vibrations follow us throughout our future lives, until we suffer from them and then commit to becoming a good example in our own lifetime.

Not all people believe this idea because they thought that if someone was bad in the past life, there is no reason for him to suffer from the bad karma that might be due him in his past life. But the truth is, every one is entitled to have a new life ahead and every life is a chance to have a better life by choosing to do right in the current life. - 30535

About the Author:

Susan M Mann is a writer for the http://www.past-lives-regression.com website. Discover the amazing experience of past life regression and you can try it yourself when you get thirty Free past life Binaural and hypnosis mp3 Audios and Videos when you visit here.

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The Kübler Ross Model The Letter

Note: Please read The Kübler-Ross Model short story first.

The Letter

Dear Reader,

The name you will most likely remember me by is Holly Vegemite, as it is my understanding that you know who I am. God, I hope so, because this is my only chance to save you and everyone either of us ever knew.

I cannot expect you to believe where I write to you from right now, but at the risk of losing faith before I have even begun, know that I am no longer alive, rather a lone spirit in a place every story book failed to mention. I see clearly now, more clear than ever, thoughts are not the obstacles they once were nor even components to my existence, as I have connected as one to my own boundless energy. And I see everything.

We will get to the primary reason for this letter shortly, but first and foremost you must understand that Nigel Coaster is an innocent man, not only from the charges he actively declared his innocence for, but even for those he confessed his guilt to. I am assuming you read the article in the OIAC paper, and if so, I beg you to remember some of the Journalists final words, as they were closer to the truth than anything else out there. The “wolf” was right. There is something much bigger going on here, something so detailed that it will be difficult for you to digest everything in one go, but please, you have to pay attention. Research further if you must, but above all else, listen carefully to what I have to say.

I (as in the self I once was, Holly) died in a car accident. I was hit by a drunk driver, which is what the official report states, and for the most part, this is true. However, the moment my electricity disconnected from my physical form, the flash of truth blinded my journey to where I am now, and I realised that it was the rats all along, just like the conspiracies theorised. The rats did everything. The rats steered that drunk man’s car into mine at such high speeds that my demise was imminent. The rats kidnapped all of us girls. The rats gave Nigel those horrific ideas for the games. And, most importantly of all, even before this whole story began, the rats planted something into Nigel’s mind which gave them a voice within his own thoughts.

The reason they did this is difficult to explain, but it involves me. In fact, it involves all of us, even you. If you recall the OIAC interview with Nigel, he was certain he’d hired those rats to aid his master plan of imprisonment and those Kübler games, when in actual fact, the rats were hired by someone else to convince Nigel of just that. I have not been permitted to expose who the man in charge is, but I will tell you this: there are many stories just like this one, some taking place right now. You think this was the only example of the Kübler-Ross model being used as a method of torture in order to achieve some sort of grand finale? No, there were many, many just like this. The only reason you know about this one specifically is simply because Nigel didnt die like he was supposed to, and the story lived on as a result. I like to believe this was some sort of a divine intervention, but that level of authority will never be disclosed to characters like us.

But whether a higher power or a coincidence, the backstory remains as solid as it ever did. There is an ancient prophecy which has been followed for centuries now, but unlike so many dime-a-dozen folklore tales, this one is actually true. The easiest way I can explain it is as follows: there is a loose collection of energy which is distinct and special, and it lives within a very select group of people. While it can exist in multiple creatures within the same time period, there is always a specific pair of individuals intended, consisting of one male and one female, known historically as the Eternal Couple. The only prerequisite is that the two counter genders harnessing said energy must repeat the same story of those who came before: they will find each other, they will live in suffering, and then they will die, only to end back in the afterlife where they will remember everything, evaporate, forget everything, and then be reused for the same purpose, ignorantly cursed to this repetition, forever. In case you hadnt worked this out by now, I am the female counterpart of the Eternal Couple, and I have memories you wouldnt believe. Memories dating back to times before man, memories taking place only a mere year ago separate from Holly, and memories of which have not even happened yet. And that’s all I can do: remember things while my energy remains stuck in limbo, awaiting the equivalent male spirit to die and reconnect to me, setting my soul free to be reborn once again. And that male spirit currently lives within Nigel.

As much as I pain without his love, writhing in the infinite memories we have shared as so many different version of ourselves, sick to my stomach in this afterlife of loneliness, I am fully aware that this is the best possible position for us to be in, for the sake of all mankind. Which brings me to the most crucial aspect you have to take from this letter: Nigel must not die. That is the whole purpose of these words I write. The very fabric of our time period relies on Nigel staying alive, as this is the only way to keep our spirits apart, and the prophecy dormant.

It has been written extensively that the death of the Eternal Couple must take place a certain (or perhaps, even a random) amount of times before another war between all that is good and all that is bad can meet on an Earthly plane once again, in an attempt to dominate the consciousness of all life involved. The last war was brutal, taking many years for our planet to recover, but good prevailed thanks to the spirit that was in Nigel, his hand killing Satan’s lead beast and rendering the dark army useless. Which is why, now more than ever, Hell is restless, eagerly initiating as many Eternal Couple deaths as possible in order to spur the next war on.

And this is the extent of my knowledge when it comes to the powers that be, but what I can tell you is that for nearly the last half decade, there has been a race to find examples of an Eternal Couple and kill them off as fast as possible in order to launch this war, with varying degrees of success, especially due to the fact that no one except the Eternal Couple really knows whether they are genuinely the Eternal Couple or not, and only becoming aware of their importance in the time of their death. Which is why it was a numbers game above all else.

At first, the man who hired the rats was satisfied with the creatures to just scope out already loving partners, and then silently kill them off. But when this proved to have no results, they knew they had to get smarter with it. The next plan was to find likely candidates for falling in love, and then work as a sort of twisted ”fate”; introducing them by some form of “coincidence”, ensuring they suffered, and then killing them off. At times, the rats even experimented with informing the couples about their intentions, and some of these couples were honoured, happy to sacrifice themselves in hopes that they were in fact the Eternal Couple—such a romantic idea without considering the terrible consequences such a scene would entail. Fortunately, even after so many deaths, no more than one or two fit the criteria.

Hence the Kübler-Ross approach. Here, an eligible person would be conditioned to believe that they needed to spend time with five varied personalities, ensuring all parties would suffer, and then under the observation of the rats, the perpetrator would be convinced to kill him or herself. On the off chance that said person was one half of the Eternal Couple, all it would take would be for the rats to calculate the most likely candidate out of the other five to murder, and in theory, upping the chances of killing the correct Eternal Couple substantially. And even if they don’t know it just yet, they managed to get it right with Nigel and I. Sometimes I wonder: perhaps my actual male was a different individual, perhaps Nigel’s actual female was too—if it even works that way. But regardless of these details, our spirits were competent for the purpose, fate has been intervened, and if Nigel dies and our run of the Eternal Couple completes, this may very well usher in the end of days.

My superior position in death does come with its own prizes, however, and this letter is one of them. The first to die of any given Eternal Couple is granted one opportunity to send a note to the living, usually to their Eternal Counterpart to aid themselves into their own death. And believe me, a letter to Nigel crossed my mind. However, after some thought, I figured what better place to post this than right here? How many more will read it? It is a risk, as I am not aware of who you are or what sort of control you have in this situation, dear reader, but maybe you know someone who does? Someone who could rewrite this story into a happy ending? Absolutely anything you can do, I beg of you, for you must understand that the death of Nigel may be the last in a long line of incidents, granting the powers of darkness to birth a monster and lead a war, perhaps reclaiming the Earth for evil like they once did so long ago. Heed my warning very seriously. Please. Nigel must not die.

This all relies on you.

As I was known,
“Holly Vegemite”


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Series Communicating with your ex Part 1

Ive been thinking lately about how people communicate with their exes.

For the most part, people dont. Exceptions are when they work together, have classes together, go to church together, etc.

Another exception is when one of the partners wants to get back together. Usually, if someone wants to get an ex back, there will be communication. In fact, there may be all too much communication.

The last exception arises when a couple has children. Here is an article I found, about communicating in that situation. -- Kit.

Communicating With Your Ex - Letting Go of the Last Word

By Mary Wollard

You probably all have someone in your family who has to have the last word in any discussion or argument. Maybe your whole family is like this, making family get-togethers challenging at best. In the case of email, this can lead to back-and-forth messages that belabor a subject way longer than necessary, with each new message escalating the conflict higher and higher.

If you are someone who needs to have the last word and your communications with your ex are difficult, be aware that this is only adding to the conflict. It will take great restraint on your part to break the pattern. After all, it took a long time to cultivate the need to have the last word and it will take a long time to feel comfortable not having the last word. The only way to break the cycle is to just resist the urge to say one more thing.

Start with a conversation that you feel neutral about, and just try not responding to the last thing the other person said. As you become more comfortable with this in relatively unimportant conversations, then you can move on to practicing in areas that are more important. Work slowly, but work at it constantly. It will be hard work because this is a very hard habit to break, but the rewards will be great.

If it is the other parent who needs the last word, know that it is not a sign of weakness on your part to let him or her have it. Know that this communication pattern in the other person started way before you ever came into the picture and likely affects every relationship they have. But you can still take responsibility for your part in these never-ending discussions.

Even if the other person hasnt yet done the work necessary to end this communication merry-go-round, you can. If you follow the steps above, the cycle will stop. Start with a subject that is not highly charged, and just let the conversation go when you have said what you have to say.

The important thing is to make the decision to break this communication cycle. If you do, I guarantee you will feel more powerful in the relationship, not less powerful.

© 2009, Mary Wollard, J.D., Family Solutions Center, LLC

Mary A. Wollard, JD, is an attorney, mediator, and arbitrator with over 20 years experience in solving the legal issues of divorce, parenting (custody), marital property and support. In addition to helping families through mediation and arbitration, Ms. Wollard provides parenting coordination and decision-making services to families when on-going conflict prevents them from fully implementing their parenting plan after divorce. Visit http://www.cofamilysolutions.com/downloads.htm for free downloadable worksheets you can use to organize your familys transition.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mary_Wollard
http://EzineArticles.com/?Communicating-With-Your-Ex---Letting-Go-of-the-Last-Word&id=2193378

---

Series continues with Part 2 and Part 3.
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Raising Capital for Your Company Beware of the Hard Sell Consulting Firm

By James Scott

Private Placement Memorandum authoring and the process of taking ones company public are services that require extensive experience and the ability to look at a deal objectively and peripherally to evaluate all the angles to enhance the ability of the client to achieve funding in a timely manner.

Many times, when Im hired to structure a company before funding, they will be under the impression that my evaluation is a mere formality and they are ready to go. Often Im the bearer of bad news when I have to break it to the client that their company has more holes than Swiss cheese and 30 to 60 days away from starting the fund raising process.

They will often get a second and then third opinion and usually run into the same thing before they eventually find their way back to our firm. As they call around to consulting firms they perpetually experience the hard sell by firms who need the business because they lack the rewards and referrals that come with cultivating each client relationship because they take on and spit out deals so fast they hardly remember their clients name during the transaction.

This mentality dominates the larger firms because of their gargantuan overhead while the boutique firms can take a more personal approach because they have a steady flow of business and referrals because they are not stressed about bringing in the next big deal so they can meet payroll and keep their lights on. The smaller companies that focus on turnaround consulting, private placement memorandum authoring, top tier business plan writing and taking companies public usually take a one on one approach to the consulting process and will rarely pressure clients to sign on because their phone is ringing off the hook with previous clients who want to hire them for the next stage in the evolution of their companys growth.

This business is all about relationships. Ditch the consultant that applies the high pressure sales tactics and seek out the smaller, more personalized groups that dont need your business but will cultivate and value it. - 30535

About the Author:

Investor Finder Services, call Princeton Corporate Solutions at 267-233-0183Take Your Company Public the easy way!

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Rebound Relationships How To Improve The Chances Of Success

People often say rebound relationships don’t work. I don’t agree as there are plenty of happy couples out there who met shortly after breaking up with someone else.

So what defines a rebound relationship? Usually it is where someone starts going out with another person very soon after leaving or being left by a former lover. If you have met somebody who seems to tick all the boxes you were looking for in a partner, I certainly would not dump them.  Yes, they could dump you, but so could anyone new that you meet; so why worry about it. You could just as easily be the person they have been looking for.

Relationships break down for all sorts of reasons. It is actually more common for two people to grow apart rather than separate due to an affair or similar reason. If your current partner split from his/her ex, they did it for a reason. If they had been together for a long time, they probably grew apart. Or they may have realised that once the initial attraction had worn off, they were not compatible enough to sustain a long term relationship.

If your new lover has just recently rejoined the single scene, you do need to be a little careful. But you would proceed slowly when dating any new person; wouldn’t you?  Try to find out why they split with their partner, but for heaven’s sake, don’t make them feel like they are being interrogated. Men in particular are very slow to speak about their feelings. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, do not jump to the conclusion that he doesn’t like you or find you attractive. 

I would also advise against asking to see a picture of the former partner. You do not want to start comparing yourself to them and it is difficult not to do this when you know what they look like. If you are part of the same social circle, it could be even harder not to draw comparisons. If you don’t do it yourself, you may find some of your mutual friends do. Try to discourage/ignore these conversations as they are unhelpful. Nobody knows what  happened between a couple other than those two people.
 
If you are the one on the rebound you need to be sure of your motivation for getting involved. Are you looking for a short fling or a long term love affair?  Whatever you do, don’t get involved with another man to make your ex jealous or for revenge. It rarely works and it isn’t fair to play with the new persons emotions.
You may find, just like I did, that your rebound relationship never ends and in fact turns into the love affair of the century. We all need some more fun in our life so try to enjoy yourself with your new partner and see where it leads.  Whoever says you should avoid rebound relationships is missing out on a whole lot of fun.
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Encouragement Lighting The Fire of Motivation

By Shawn Doyle

I was going for a brisk walk in my neigborhood park. It is a great winding loop- a half mile walking path that is hilly in several places. I was walking and huffing and puffing my way around the track. A short man with black hair was on the trail too, running in the opposite direction. So every loop we passed one another. I didnt know him. The first time he passed me he yelled out " Keep it up!" At first I thought he was talking to someone else but no- he said it to me! Hmm. "I dont know this man from Adam" I said to myself. When we passed for the second time I got a positive "thumbs up" sign. He was smiling at me. This was getting weird. Third lap he clapped for me. So a person I didnt know was coaching me to keep going. The very last lap I worked up my energy and ran that lap and my goal was now to please my new mentor.

Stop what you are doing and think about this for one moment. In your organization who should be the one who provides the most encouragement and motivation? You. Consider the power encouragement can have. So before you stop reading this, here is a compelling reason : results. So lets put the PMA stuff aside for a minute and understand that as a leader your job is to get results. That cant be through you it has to be through your people. So as the leader you have to give them encouragement, high energy and make them feel appreciated. They want their work to be recognized. The issue is that most leaders dont do this at all. So your job is to be the CEO- cheif encouragement officer.

So here are some ideas for providing encouragement that are quick and effective. They may seem small but they can be very effective in helping get better results.

Speak to all people- Many times I have seen a "big wig" walk into a room at a big meeting with hundreds of employees, pass by everyone, ignoring them and greeting other " big wigs " on the far side of the room. How silly is that? They were making the small people feel even smaller. This created resentment and people felt slighted. Who would blame them? What a huge error. When you are touring or visiting an office or even in your own offices do you take the time to say "hello" to people? Maybe you are pressed for time. Do you at least give people non verbal positive signals? They need the small gestures of acknowledgement.

Take note of their efforts- Lower level employees often tell me they never ever get any credit for their work. So when employees work really hard do something "over and above" the call of duty, make sure to notice and say something about it. When people do wonderful work let them know! Its important to publically and privately (one on one) acknowledge people when they do great work. I was once a Vice President at a big company that had 80,000 employees. At times when I saw something I felt was great, I would find out who did it and I would write them a short handwritten note of appreciation, thanking them for doing such a wonderful job. When I traveled I would go in someones office (or cube) and well look at that- I woulde see the card I wrote pinned up on their wall. This taught me an important life lesson- that everyone wants to be appreciated.

Bees and honey- There is an old saying in the south "you attract bees with honey not vinegar." Its not a comment about bees its a comment about humans. It is easy to be critical really easy. Most people screw up alot. But the problem is these people already beat up on themselves on a regular basis. Why do we need to keep adding on to that? It is the big morale killer. Its probably just being human but its not helping at all. As a leadership expert I encourage leaders to try and find a balance between the honey and the vinegar. In many cases there is no honey at all. So some balance- please!.

Be present with presents- Do you think people love gifts? You bet. Does it have more impact when it is least expected? Even more. Look for little ways to show people appreciation. Bring in bagels in the morning, cater a lunch into the office, give someone a bonus day off, give them a gift card for coffee. These rewards are small but appreciated. One other key point- let them know that it is a reward. Some people get rewards and they dont know it is a reward or what it is for. Sit that person down, and say to them "Look, I know how hard you have been working and I have noticed it. This is a reward for all that you have done.Thank you." They will feel so good about their work, they will tell their family about it when they get home.

The secret to great leadership is really not a secret at all. You as a leader need to encourage people, help them feel as if their work matters because it does. We all matter.

So go ahead -get busy! - 30535

About the Author:

Shawn Doyle is a funny and energetic Motivational Speaker and author of 10 books. For a free copy of Shawns book The 10 Foundations of Motivation, go to http://sldoyle.com.

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How to get rid of a crazy ex girlfriend

Oh yes, you know who I am talking about...
Those insane ex girlfriends who were dumped weeks, months, or even well over a year ago who refuse to accept that things are O-V-E-R because, well...
"Its not over UNTIL I SAY ITS OVER!!!!" *locusts burst out of chest, clouds darken* - its the beginning of the apocalypse.

Ye-ap, THEY BE KA-RA-ZAY!

I feel like you would know whether or not you have a crazy ex, but if for some bizarre reason youre blissfully unaware, let me spell it out for you.

You know you have a crazy ex-girlfriend when...

1) You receive anonymous phone calls before bed and hear some exorcist-style, shaky breathing on the other line, but never any voices. On occasion, you may hear some low whispers... that would be the sound of desperation in the form of a love spell, or voodoo that they learned at the creepy corner store in your small town. Either way, now would be the time to hang up the phone and close your blinds because if shes not sitting in the tree outside your window watching you yet, she will be soon.

2) Your facebook, hotmail, myspace, etc. are constantly being hacked and you have to log on, fill out your "not-so-secret-anymore" information and change your password again and AGAIN. Yup, that would be her... she wants to know who youre talking to, why youre talking to them, and if she has any other girls she needs to worry about.

3) Every time you go to bed you smell her perfume on your pillow. At this point, youre either paranoid from all of the outside-your-window-tree-stalking that shes been doing, or shes been sneaking into your room, rolling around on your bed and hoping that her scent will lead you back to her.

Now would be the time to file a police report...
OR...
Follow this step-by-step guide on how to rid yourself of her insane antics:

1) Be polite, yet firm. If this girl is as crazy as you think she is, its likely that she will not listen to reason. However, you need to explain to her why you think that the relationship cant work. Assure her that you dont want to be with a person who you dont love and that she doesnt want to be with a person who cant love her "the way she deserves." Even if that is a bunch of BS, consider the fact that you once cared for this girl... and as much as you want to bash her in the face with a shovel and tell her to find someone else to stalk - you cant.

2) Some girls cant take the hint. Some girls cant take the let-me-spell-it-out-for-you-I-dont-care-about-you-and-I-never-will approach either... they just wont accept things. AVOID HER - avoid her at all costs. Clearly she lacks self control (and stability), so being around your sexy self will only draw her to you more. If you are at a party and she shows up (which she clearly planned BY THE WAY) - DO NOT talk to her. If she talks to you, give short, yet polite, one word answers and walk away and talk to other people. If she begins making a scene... and by scene I mean shes sobbing in the corner, screaming your name, or throwing things - that would be your cue to leave.

3) If she continues showing up at your house, or your work unannounced - now would be the time to stand your ground. Do not tell her that youre better off alone, yet continue making plans with her. Do not tell her that you need some distance between the two of you for a while and continue to talk to her on a daily, or weekly basis. Do not tell her that you want to see other people and continue to hook up with her. DID YOU HEAR THAT LAST ONE? DO NOT, BY ANY MEANS, CONTINUE TO HOOK UP WITH YOUR CRAZY EX. Believe it or not... she will continue to obsess over you and will fool herself into believing that the two of you may, POSSIBLY, get back together. SHE will cling to that slight chance like its her JOB. If you continue to hook up with this girl - YOU are bringing this problem upon yourself. BE STRONG and if you cant keep it in your pantaloons - buy some lotion, or get a hobby.

4) If she is friends with any of your friends... be aware of the fact that she is likely talking to them and asking them what youre up to in that ever-so-subtle way of hers. THIS WILL NOT DO AT ALL! Tell your friends not to divulge any personal, or secret things going on in your life to this girl. If she knows what, or who youre doing - there will be trouble... "I wanna wear your skin to my birthday party" kind of trouble.

5) If you begin seeing someone else... its likely that your crazy ex-girlfriend already knows about it via her mad stalking skills. Do not share information about your new girlfriend with your ex, such as where she works, lives, or your plans for the upcoming weekend. Depending on how crazy your ex is, you could be placing your new gal in danger. Its not her business who youre dating, or why youre dating them.
**Keep in mind that it is not a very good idea to divulge that you are dating someone new too soon after a breakup - it would be best to keep things on the down low for a little while if your relationship just ended.**

6) Be consistent with what you are saying and doing. Do not give your ex-girlfriend hugs, hold her hand, talk to her constantly, tell her you miss her, etc. UNLESS you are planning on getting back together with her. With that being said, weve already established that shes crazy, so... I guess its your funeral.

**** If you are planning on establishing a friendly relationship with this person, explain WHY you cannot talk to her for a while and why you need space - be upfront with her. If you disappear suddenly without telling her - she will think youre a jerk and will not want to be friends with you. Be courteous and tell her that youre going to be disappearing for a while and that you would like to be friends after youve had some time to deal with things.

**** Ahhh...haunt my dreams.
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Letters of Apology Examples of what to say to your girlfriend

Saying sorry to a girlfriend or ex girlfriend is something thats hard for a lot of guys. If you need help, take a look at this new series of sample letters for apologizing to a girlfriend:

• 
  
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for being drunk
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for being drunk: It's hard because usually, this isn't the first time something like this has happened.
• 
  
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for cheating on her
  
  Here's a sample apology letter to a girlfriend for cheating. Your letter can be a little longer than this, but don't write pages of details.
• 
  
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for not trusting her
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for not trusting her: 'I don't want to spend the rest of my life making excuses for being jealous.'
• 
  
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for hurting her feelings
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for hurting her feelings: You didn't really mean anything by it, but she overheard it and now it's a big deal.
• 
  
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for forgetting
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for forgetting: What she's really worried about is your reliability.

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Why You Should Consider Running Daily

By Jason Winter

Im a huge advocate of running. I know that it takes some effort and energy to make it happen, and Im usually the first person to prefer just being lazy and relaxing in bed with a book or watching TV.

Even though its a nuisance sometimes, the one that that Ive realized is that Im always glad that I ran once the run is over. I think this says a lot.

Ill always feel better after the fact, which leads me to believe that its just a mental block that prevents us from doing it more often. Still, its something that we should definitely push ourselves to do as hard as we possibly can.

The benefits of running are both physical and psychological. Obviously, it keeps us all in good health. It gives us energy and burns fat, but its also a great emotional catalyst. If you run, youll have hormones produced that raise your spirits naturally.

I think that running is also good for the brain. Im always getting more accomplished at my job after a run, and I have an easier time falling asleep.

All of these obvious benefits make it well worth giving yourself the push to go running. Do whatever it takes to put yourself on a regular schedule and youll see the benefits pretty quickly.

If you need some help motivating, do some things that may make it all easier. Run indoors with a television that you can watch. Listen to some music that will pump you up. You can even read while you run if you feel that it might help.

Its also important to set personal goals as you run. While some people are perfectly content with maintaining the same speed, Ive always found that I get the maximum benefit whenever Im striving to achieve new fastest times. - 30535

About the Author:

If you liked this authors article, read his Slide in Ad review at his latest site.

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Top 10 things to do to get her back

We have a new article on HelpGettingBackTogether.com. Heres the intro:

Lets say your girlfriend broke up with you, against your wishes. And lets say you want to get her back. You are probably asking yourself -- what are the top things to do to get her back? And like many other guys, you probably turn to Google to find an answer.

You know what happens when you do your search? You get overwhelmed with thousands -- even millions -- of people trying to tell you want to do. Everybodys got an answer.

So then youre faced with the task of sifting through all this information, and looking for the best solutions that will work for you and your girlfriend, and your situation.

Wouldnt it help if you could find a list of all the things to do to get her back, all in one place?

Thats why Im writing this article: Im going to try to list every memorable method Ive come across, so you can figure out which ones you want more information on.

Read the full text here, about things to do to get her back: Top 10 things to do to get her back

Enjoy!
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Get Your Ex Back After No Contact

Just added a new article on HelpGettingBackTogether.com.

This ones all about getting back your ex after youve maintained a period of no contact.

It gives a list of steps you can take to initiate contact with your ex, without bringing along all the baggage from your prior failed relationship.
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How to get rid of a stalker ex girlfriend

At some point in your life, youre most likely going to be trying to get out of a bad relationship and will be wondering how to get ride of a jealous ex girlfriend. Dumping an ex is the easy part, but keeping her out of life may prove to be much more difficult, at least, without the help of a restraining order. There are a few crucial things you can do though to get rid of a jealous ex girlfriend.

The first thing you should do to get rid of a jealous ex girlfriend is to let her know that youre done with the relationship. If shes an unreasonable and dramatic type, remain calm during the conversation but let her know that youre serious and be quite firm in your talk with her. Tell her that you want her to stay away from you or any of your future relationships. Dont be swayed by tears or threats.

Inform your friends that you have a jealous ex girlfriend who might try to get to you through them. Ask for their support in ignoring her requests for information about you and your future relationships.

A jealous ex girlfriend will most likely try to break into your email or voicemail. You next step in curtailing the relationship should be to immediately change all of your passwords. While youre at it, make you passwords very difficult to break by using at least one upper case, one lower case, one number and one symbol in every password.

Changing your routine will make it more difficult for a jealous ex girlfriend to follow you throughout your day. You might not be able to change your work pattern, but find new places to hang out, especially if youre planning on taking a new date along.

If worse comes to worse and youre being stalked by a jealous ex girlfriend, you might have to ask for support from the police. Consider getting a restraining order which might at least slow her approach to you. Warn her beforehand that youre going to take this step and, if she continues her stalking behavior, make good on the threat and get the restraining order.

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Thinking Of Divorce Save Marriage With A Marriage Counselor

Are you thinking of divorce?  Save marriage by seeing a marriage counselor.  There are many therapists who say they do marriage counseling, but how do you know which ones are really good?  This article will give you a checklist of things to look for in a family therapist.
First of all, you want to see what their credentials are.  There are three basic classes of counselors.
The first is the Ph.D. or Psy.D. level counselor.  These people went to graduate school for a minimum of five years and wrote a dissertation.  In addition, they performed a minimum of 3000 hours of therapy under the supervision of an experienced psychologist.  In order to legally call yourself a “clinical psychologist” the person must have a doctoral level degree.  Ph.D.’s are often more academic in nature and tend to do scholarly and forensic work along with therapy. 
Then there is the M.S.W.  This means Master of Social Work.  Social Workers are trained to apply social theory to specific situations.  They can work in institutions or with individuals. 
Finally, there is the M.S. or M.A. in Counseling.  Often called a “Marriage and Family Therapist,” these people can only work with individuals or small groups in counseling situations.  They tend to have 2 year degrees and may not have written a thesis.  They have 1500 hours of therapy under supervision.
If you are using your insurance to cover your marriage counseling, your insurance company will probably direct you to an MSW or a Marriage and Family Therapist because they are less expensive.
Second, you have to determine what the price will be.  Clinical psychologists tend to be the most expensive while Marriage and Family Therapists are the least expensive.  Remember you are trying to stop divorce.  Save marriage by finding the best fit not the most (or least) expensive professional. 
Look at the per session cost as well as the overall cost for the expected length of treatment. 
Often, therapists working in groups or non profit institutions will have a sliding scale fee based on a couple’s income.  If you qualify, this might make counseling affordable when it otherwise might not be.
Third, you need to look at the policies the therapist has.  Some of these policies include:
· What happens if you miss or cancel a session?
· Can you take a pre-planned vacation without having to pay for the session?
· Will the therapist accept calls outside of the normal session?  Do they accept calls at home or just at the office?
· Is there an alternative person you can call in an emergency?
A family counselor should help you put your family back together so that you don’t have split up.  Saving your marriage should be their ultimate goal.  If you don’t feel that you are in synch with your counselor, move on and find someone who can keep you from divorce and save marriage.
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The Law Of Abundance And Your New Life

By Kim McMillan

There is nothing complicated about the law of abundance, to put it simply all you need to do is believe. You should believe you deserve wealth, health, happiness, love and think positive. That is it, no more no less. All types of people have been abiding by this law for generations and this simplistic belief has reaped many benefits for them.

Its lack of difficulty is the best thing about the law of abundance. It may be a novel concept but the truth is everything you have and who you are is a product of what you have been thinking over the past few years. Believe it or not the things you do not have are also a product of this type of thinking.

When you wake up every day, the law of abundance is automatically at work for you. The problem with most people is that they fail to take advantage of the powers that be in their lives.

If you want your dreams to come true and manifest themselves in your life, you must look at what you have already. It is through appreciation for these things that you will see multiplication begin to take hold in your life.

Its common sense. If you are naturally a pessimistic person, thinking positively about life may seem like a challenge. In reality, all you are doing is breaking a bad habit. Again, taking advantage of the law of abundance doesnt have to be difficult.

When you awake each day, you have the ability to create multiple opportunities for happiness and wealth. When you greet the day in a foul mood however you are setting yourself up to experience disappointment and even failure. If you need some help along the way, try posting notes around the house about how successful and lucky you truly are.

Being open to this level of abundance, you will find there are so many things for you to attain. By not taking advantage of the law of abundance, people will foil their own success and wealth. If you truly want to prevent this, you must take control of your thought life. Make it a conscious decision to change the way you think.

When a negative thought sneaks into your thought processes flip it upside down and turn it into something that is positive for you. There are those who find it beneficial to feed off these negative thoughts. If you are naturally pessimistic, this may be something you can work with to bring about the law of abundance.

Many people are constantly thinking of themselves in the negative, feeling like they are fat or ugly, next time try telling yourself how beautiful and fit you are. You will feel the happiness begin to flow abundantly in you. At this point, you will have whatever you ask for because this energy is irresistible and contagious.

Do you want to see abundance increase in your life drastically? Instead of constantly thinking, you never have any money turn it around and say you have everything you need and then some!

Making the law of abundance a moving force in your life is something you can achieve. When you accept life, the way it is and appreciate what you already have, you open the door to the law and you will be absolutely amazed by how much better things will be. - 30535

About the Author:

The author Kim McMillan writes for the popular http://www.abundance-info.com website. Discover how easy it really is to be successful at using manifesting secrets by visiting here. Change your life forever with a huge collection of Free Abundance success Audios and Videos.

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Could your job be the source of your upper arm fat

By Katherine Crawford M.S.

Did you know that poor work conditions can lead to more upper arm fat? Although this may sound ridiculous, research has shown this to be true.

How can we make such conclusions? Well, this groundbreaking research was done in England and showed how rank, among many other factors, can influence what you eat, how much you exercise and how much fat you carry.

So here is what to look out for at your job:

1. No control. If you arent in control, or if you feel like you arent in control, stress is going to rise too high. In fact, in many other areas of life, a lack of control is directly related to heightened stress hormones which can lead to more upper arm fat.

2. Excess tenseness. If you feel like you are in a constant state of tension, stress hormones are going to flood your body. And said hormones can alter levels of arm fat. One simple test is to assess how stiff your neck muscles are.

3. Clarity of given tasks. If the work you are supposed to do is unclear, stress will rise. Ask your superiors for more clearly defined work. State how your productivity will increase and never point fingers. After all, finger pointing will only increase work-related stress.

4. Your rank. The research from the UK showed that lower ranking jobs lead to more weight gain. So if you are stuck in a lower ranking position, seek out other activities in which you can be more dominant. Perhaps you have a latent talent or hobby you have forgotten about.

5. Having a mono-identity. Dont let your work define who you are. When things are going good you will feel good. But anytime something goes bad you will get flooded with all those stress hormones. Subjecting yourself to this emotional roller coaster is unnecessary.

Unfortunately, there is only so much you can do here. If your job is becoming a true nightmare despite all your efforts, you may have to find a different workplace. If this isnt possible within your company, you may have to find a different job! Then you may notice that the upper arm fat comes off a little easier! - 30535

About the Author:

Get free and valuable advice on the top exercises for upper arms immediately by going to Katherine Crawfords M.S. website Sleeveless in 7. And unearth how to get toned and lean arms ASAP by visiting her blog about arm toning immediately!

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Getting Stress Out Of Your Life

By Patrick Sanders

Everyone comes up with some kind of unruly situation in their day to day lives which can cause stress and confusion. Whether it is anger at a relative or a hectic household routine, we all have our own problems that we have no choice but to deal with. But what differentiates between two similar people with similar problems is the way they deal with the given circumstances. This is why stress management programs were developed - to help people learn to deal with tribulations.

In a way we all manage stress in our daily routine. Some people might try to distract themselves with another activity and some may try to solve the problem step by step. This is exactly what managing stress means. But many people dont do it successful and end up feeling more anxious and perplexed. This is where a stress management program can help you.

There are a number of stress management techniques that self improvement gurus and experts have developed. These techniques can be learnt and put into practice so you can become a little more prepared to deal with anxiety. Many of them advise such time tested methods like self hypnosis, yoga and meditation.

Every stress management program talks about the simple fact that you need to give some time to yourself, so you can relax yourself from your frenzied routine. This alone time will help you develop a kind of immunity from outside pressures.

You can learn to relax while meditating or indulging in some other activity that you find works best for you. This way you are teaching yourself how to cope with anger, hurt, depression and work pressures. All you need to do is to take out some quality time for yourself. Stress management programs are conducted in groups and can also be taken up individually.

They will teach you how stress harms you and what causes stress in the first place. This way you can understand how you can deal with when such an incident occurs. These programs also teach useful techniques like time management, assertiveness and problem solving. Another aspect of these programs is teaching people to lead a healthy lifestyle, so they are healthy in mind and body and are more able to cope with challenging situations. Stress management is something that can benefit everyone from child raising housewives to parents of addicted teenagers, and from grocery store workers to business people. - 30535

About the Author:

To learn more about stress management program, be sure to check out our site today. We provide tons of useful tips and information on how you can reduce stress.

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20 Hottest Girls Ever Part II

(according to me)

You know, it has been over four years since part one of this very article, and oh my, how the world has changed! The feminist movement has surged forward and become one of the biggest topics of recent times, producing a special sort of caution within the male population. What are we allowed to say? Who are we allowed to look at? What physical aspect of a woman are we allowed to marvel over? Where is the goddamn rulebook?

Which is why I was hesitant to write this sequel article. When the original first came out, it was hugely popular, mainly because boys are very horny, but also because the general public was a lot more chilled at that point. Does this lax attitude towards worshipping skin beauty still apply to our modern day society? Would such a blog piece only prove to perpetuate the reputation that I, as a man, was treating girls as objects rather than appreciating them on levels of intelligence or skill sets? Am I part of the problem where magazine covers judge females for superficial factors and support the concept of some unrealistic body type? Once again, I can’t seem to find this rulebook.

In the end, I decided to proceed for reasons of respect. You see, we are all born with different qualities, and one cannot deny that looking good is a quality within itself. Perhaps I don’t agree with the practice of setting ridiculous standards which distort females self body images, but I do support pretty things, and as a heterosexualish male, I refuse to fight the instinct which tells me that these following girls are prime examples of what I enjoy on a natural level. Perhaps one day I will write a list of The Smartest Girls Ever, but for now, I feel the hotness topic encourages a lot more hits, and so I have just successfully justified it to myself to write this: a list of the female celebrities I drool over right now, for all the wrong reasons. Still, this is the stupidest blog Ive written in a long time, and I am also very sorry they are generally white blondes. I am blatantly a big fat shallow racist.

20. Gwyneth Paltrow

“I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin.”

I decided to start off this list with something sweet and simple. For here is the type of girl you’d bring home to mama, confident that Paltrow would be very polite and chew with her mouth closed and laugh at your dads jokes even if they weren’t that funny. And then maybe at some point during this hypothetical dinner, you’d casually slip in the fact that your date once won an Oscar for Shakespeare in Love and has also had the penises of Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck, and Chris Martin inside of her. I dunno, would my mother want to know that? Probably. But regardless, there does seem to be something super healthy about Gwyneth, like she smells of fruit salad and doesnt age badly, as if she holds the secret to eternal beauty, or perhaps is the secret to eternal beauty, how would I know? I’m no witch doctor, but I would like to be one some day.

19. Emilia Clarke

“After my last audition for Game of Thrones, they said, Congratulations, princess. I was like, Bye-bye, call centre.”

Daenerys Targaryen! Daenerys Targaryen herself! Shes so bad ass! She has dragons and an army and shit! But she’s all fair to the people like! She deserves an award! Somebody give this girl the goddamn throne already! She is so hot I’d shout obscene things at her just so she’d stab me and I’d die satisfied that for a moment she registered my existence! Game of Thrones is based on a true story! George R.R. Martin is a figment of your imagination! I really hope no one reads these stupid articles! At least the pictures are cool! Call me, Emilia!

18. Selena Gomez

“My perfect guy wears converse, is totally laid back, and doesnt worry about being cool.”

Im not really too sure what this is about, but around a year or so ago, I irrationally fell in love with Selena. I like her music a lot, but it’s a little bit too sugary to admit this to my friends. She has been involved with a load of film and TV appearances, but none of these were particularly memorable (except for perhaps Spring Breakers, which might have been where this trouble started). And while there is no denying she is a looker, she’s not exactly your stereotypical hot, more like a cute troll above a sex symbol. So why exactly is she here? Well, I have thought about this long and hard, and figured that Belieberism is a sexually transmitted disease, and as she has slept with Justin Bieber, she probably got a huge dose of the semen virus from the source penis, and in some way my suppressed desire to fuck Justin has manifested in my adoration for Gomez. It’s a legit problem, look it up.

17. Nina Persson

“Were not troubled at all, but I think... well, were Scandinavians! Were Vikings and we have a lot of blackness in our souls.”

What’s better than a hot rockstar girl? NOTHING. Which is why the singer for one of my favourite bands ever, The Cardigans, ticks every box with her box, from her disinterested attitude, to her talented genre-bending melodies, to her 15 million albums sold worldwide. Furthermore, her name is an anagram of “Insane Porns”, which blatantly has nothing to do with anything except for perhaps some subconscious level where I am suddenly very turned on all the time. Basically, Im just trying to fulfil my word quota here, this isnt an easy blog to write.

16. Sky Ferreira

“I hate when people call me a socialite because you have to have money to be a socialite, which I dont have.”

The Kinderwhore fashion scene has kinda faded out, and that sucks. I enjoy it when a girl looks like she is about to die from an overdose of intravenous drug use while she stinks of Jack Daniels and gets into fist fights with boys. I just want to help them! I just want to help myself to them! Anyway, Sky’s music doesn’t really get me hard, but when she shows her nipple on her album cover and gets arrested for heroin possession, then I want to give her all my money just to watch her destroy herself and become the next Courtney Love. She’s probably doing fine though, I don’t know her personally, I just read some things.

15. Jodie Foster

“I was never the ingenue or the pretty girlfriend of Tom Cruise in a movie. I didnt have that career, so I dont have to compete on that level.”

It’s hard to say this without sounding a bit paedophilic, but I honestly first felt something for Jodie in the 1976 Scorsese film Taxi Driver, when Foster was only 13 years old. She played a child prostitute and performed the role so well that my whole view on acting as an art form changed whilst I watched that dialogue scene between her and De Niro at the diner. And I wasn’t alone, as her appearance in this film and various others (like The Accused, The Silence of the Lambs, and Nell) went on to earn her two Oscars, three Baftas, two Golden Globes, and a stalker by the name of John Hinckley, Jr who shot U.S. President Ronald Reagan just to get her attention. Jokes on you though, Hinckley. Jodie likes girls.

14. Grimes

“I feel like vocals are to music what portraits are to painting. Theyre the humanity. Landscapes are good and fine, but at the end of the day everyone loves the Mona Lisa.”

The thing about Grimes is that she doesn’t really seem human. She seems more like a pixie or a fairy with her wings plucked off or maybe a sound rather than an actual physical being. Youd almost expect to stumble across her in a forest yet she wouldnt even notice you because shes too busy dancing around covered in nothing but tinfoil. And then youd try to touch her, but your hand goes straight through because she is made out of mist and naturally this is related to that acid trip you took whilst listening to her ethereal Visions album. Ah, lame, not again. But what a fucking album!

13. Juno Temple

“For a woman, body image is always a palpable thing. Weirdly, for me, the only time I dont care is when Im in character.”

Very often when it comes to falling for celebrities, we base our affection not on the human themselves, but rather the characters they play—which makes sense because we generally don’t know them whatsoever and have to make shit up for our alone time fantasies. And this is the case for Juno Temple, or rather, Dottie Smith, the ditsy little sister in the film Killer Joe. Her carefree childlike nature and spacey innocence worked very well within the context of one very messed up movie, especially the part when she gets completely naked and then is fucked from behind by Matthew McConaughey. I liked that. I think that might have been the point where I took notice, actually. Regardless, she is undeniably beautiful, talented, has starred in various other A-Class projects you may of heard of (The Dark Knight Rises, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For, Maleficent, some other stuff), which makes me feel funny things in funny places :(

12. Naomi Watts

“You wont find me in a romantic comedy. Those movies dont speak to me. People dont come to talk to me about those scripts, because they probably think Im this dark, twisted, miserable person.”

Age is but a number when you’re as lonely as me, but thanks to the internet, we can admire Naomi throughout the years at whatever age you like. It was back when she was just over 30 years young in the Lynch classic Mulholland Drive when I first laid eyes upon this beautiful human being and even though the film itself made me feel uncomfortable, I was still pretty stoked that she was there to see me through to the end. As time has gone on, she has starred in plenty of other decent flicks, was nominated for Oscars, and has done a lot for AIDS research, but most importantly of all—even more important than AIDS prevention—is that Watts has aged very well, even her smile-wrinkles having some weird sophisticated sex appeal to them. I’d love to cook her a meal, is what I am saying. Converse about animal rights. Observe her table manners. Accidentally brush her finger as I hand her a napkin. I am a simple man with simple thoughts.

11. Kitty

“I dont care how long it takes to get you after me. I wrote our names on my binder and everybody laughed at me.”

At the young age of only 22, there is something so attractive about a girl who goes viral, dont you think? What’s more, she acts her age (or perhaps even younger), coming across all awkward in front of the camera whilst singing creepy love songs about a guy she is crushing on who doesn’t like her back (Ay Shawty 3.0), or her distant lovings via dating websites (Okay Cupid), or even her unhealthy obsession with Bieber (JUSTIN BIEBER?!?!?!?!?!), which is just great. And with such a unique ooze of desperation flowing from some proper talent, I almost get the impression I have a chance with this girl. Seriously, Kitty, hit me up, we can cycle around the park or smoke weed through glass bongs or whatever you children are up to these days.

10. Valeria Lukyanova

“My communication with aliens is not verbal—we speak the language of light.”

I’m pretty fucked up so I like weird shit, and Ukraine’s Valeria is really really fucked up weird shit. Known better as the Human Barbie, she has taken it upon herself to look like a toy doll, and has done quite well on this mission. What’s even more fucking strange, is that she claims to have achieved her look without any surgery (sans a boob job) and credits her success to a diet called inedia, which excludes any food and even sometimes water. Did I mention she actively opposes interracial relationships and apparently talks to aliens while she travels on spiritual plains? Because she seriously says shit like that. I’d still date her though, just to see the look on my parents’ faces. Hide the scissors, mum!

9. Ellen Page

“Theres obviously a lot of tragedy in comedy; I really enjoy the paradox of what a really good comedy is.”

I had this dream once where me and Ellen hooked up, and ever since then I couldn’t get the cuteness of her face out of my head. I wanted to be the Michael Cera to her Juno, impregnate her and then marvel over our amalgamated genetics. I wanted to be the Joseph Gordon-Levitt to her Ariadne, kissing her in Fischers inception just because it was worth a shot. I wanted be the Jeff Kohlver to her Hayley Stark, and totally surrender to her convincing argument that I should kill myself in Hard Candy. But then, of course, she came out as a lesbian, and all of my brilliant plans were completely shattered. I’m still quite depressed about it to be honest. That said, I do have long hair, so you never know. Optimism is one of my stronger points.

8. Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

“I want to spread the word of kawaii to the rest of the world—I want to see it embraced by everybody.”

Not traditionally hot, but fuck tradition, as Japanese pop star Kyary is just the unconventional kind of fascinating which drips candy into my eyeballs and then solidifies my gaze in her direction, complete with enough costume changes and make up tricks to turn Gaga into a piece of bread. And this freaks my penis out. Still, she is adorable to the max with the right type of hyper music to seal the deal, her whole presentation seemingly edible but definitely toxic, which wouldnt even stop me. If you are going to YouTube anybody on this list, I would recommend Kyary Pamyu Pamyu as the the most exciting choice for you.

7. Carey Mulligan

“I never get recognised here in London, which I like. Once a year, someone comes up to me and asks if I am so-and-sos niece because they think they recognise me from somewhere. I like that.”

There is this weird aspect about Carey, that when I look at photos of her, it doesn’t quite do it for me. She’s cute enough, sure, but her appeal wont translate into a static image properly—it simply doesn’t do her justice. The girl needs to move! Which brings me to my next question: have you seen Drive yet? Oh my fuck! I can’t even remember that film because I was so busy pausing and rewinding it every time she came onto my screen. It wasn’t even a masturbation thing, it was a crying thing, yearning for her so hard that I broke up with my girlfriend immediately afterwards and then called in sick to work until they fired me. Which, in hindsight, was really stupid. Fuck you Carey. Fuck your perfect face, seriously.

6. Taylor Swift

“All you need to do to be my friend is like me.”

The thing about Taylor is that she is not real. If I was ever to believe in the whole Reptilians/Illuminati taking over the world thing, it would be because of Ms Swift. This is not only because she is perfect at looking, but also perfect at life, a cold clinical response to all interview questions whilst hiding any true emotions behind a smile which always seems a little too knowledgable and a haircut that never falls out of place. Furthermore, her success as a musician (winning seven Grammys, twelve Billboard Music Awards, selling over 40 million copies worldwide, standing in the top five selling digital artists ever, etc) proves that she cannot possibly be human and has had some sort of alien intervention because she’s only 25 years old and nobody like this could possibly exist. Did I mention she always hides her belly button? Why though? I already told you. Aliens.

5. Cara Delevingne

“I treat the camera like a person—I gaze into it. Photos are a flat thing, and you need to put life into them.”

I don’t actually know what to write about this girl. She’s a model, which makes sense, because her skin is blatantly made out of clouds and her features are obviously Photoshopped by Jesus himself. She apparently does some acting and some singing too, but I didn’t hear what I just said because all I can think about is partying with her. If she was like “here, do this line of cocaine off of my armpit” I’d be like “and how much would that cost me?” And if she was like “drink these 32 shots of tequila mixed with my brothers urine”, I’d be like “I love you”. If she was like “inject this heroine into your ballsack,” I’d be honoured that my genitals were in her presence. And if she was like “pour this ketamine into your eye then shove this straw down your peehole and let me blow into it,” I’d be like “no, that’s fucked up Cara, what the fuck is wrong with you.” But I would still be her mate, though.

4. Emma Stone

“I was a good-looking kid. I never felt, like, dorky. I was just like, Yup, these are my braces. Ive had them forever.”

Emma was one of them sneaky girls who I had come across a few times without even noticing the depth of her eyes completely eradicating my large intestine. She bounced onto my screen with Superbad, Zombieland, Easy A, Friends with Benefits, and Crazy, Stupid, Love, yet I was oblivious, aware she was cute, granted, but unaware that there was a tumour growing inside my pancreas in the shape of her own name. However, it was during a trailer (of all things) for her Academy Award nominated performance in Birdman where I choked on my popcorn and promptly stood up, announcing to the world that I would not be happy until I married Emma Stone. And then some dickhead behind shouted at me, informing my dreams that Emma was already fucking Spiderman and I must sit down, this is a cinema for fucks sake. So I sat down. But I was making plans.

3. Zooey Deschanel

“The Internets like one big bathroom wall with a lot of people who anonymously can say really mean things. Its fine, I believe in freedom of speech and I think people should think what they want, but I dont care to hear it.”

I, like most, watched in horror as my radar shook and threatened to shatter when I first started watching the hilarious television series New Girl. But even if this was the catalyst, it was not my initial introduction to the lady. I had seen Almost Famous, I had seen (500) Days of Summer, and I had seen the music video for Offspring’s She’s Got Issues. However, it was the character of Jess specifically who stole my heart, her quirky clumsy doe-eyed personality seemed to exuberate bubbles of joy from her bang hairstyle, and I decided I would spend the rest of my life following her. On Twitter. I hate her music.

2. Margot Robbie

“I love flying so much. I even like airplane food. No one bothers you and your phone never goes off and you cant have emails go through. Its undisturbed.”

Despite having heaps of success with the Australian soap Neighbours, I don’t watch that crap and ran straight into Margot’s face like a sexy brick structure during the excellent Scorsese film The Wolf of Wall Street. It was like a professional martial artist had mugged me of all my everything, her very presence chosen for that exact reason, an excess of saliva flooding my mouth and nearly choking me to death as it did so. And then a few moments later, she was completely naked and it was one of those moments where I loathed myself because I knew that even if I got half a chance, I would blow it by saying something idiotic and then crying before I ran away to kill myself.

1. Grace Kelly

“Getting angry doesnt solve anything.”

All bow down to Grace Kelly, for she is a princess. Literally. She married Prince Rainier III in 1956, and as a result, became the Princess of Monaco. And this makes sense to me, because I know as an ordinary person that I would not be worthy of a hand so glamorous, and totally support the unity, even if her responsibilities of a political nature meant she had no time to continue her fantastic acting career (which included some of Hitchcock’s greatest works complete with Oscar nominated performances—even winning one once!). Sadly, she died of a stroke-related car accident when she was 52, more than likely because God is selfish and wanted to spend some time with her, in full knowledge he was not capable of creating anything better. Without a doubt, she is the most beautiful woman to have ever lived, and I will die alone because of it.

Conclusion

I love all girls the same, for realsies.


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How to handle an ex girlfriend

I came here wanting an opinion of maybe some people that have been in my shoes. I dont think my friends understand the situation and have really done a great job just making me move along, but they dont feel what I feel.

Here it is.... I worked with a girl when I was a Sophomore in College and she was a Senior in High School. We knew each other since she was 16 and never really thought about dating at all since she was very young. As time progressed and she got older... I got to know her really well. We went on a trip together as friends with no plans and we really hit it off. Long story short, we spent a lot of time together over the summer before she left to go to college out of state and we decided there was a bond and we would try to make this thing work long distance

Lets cut to the chase, the relationship was great.. GOOD COMMUNICATION the whole time, I was really close to her family and would eat dinner over there even without her. My parents treated her so well and they would even text her once in awhile. it was great besides the distance. We made it work, we would see eachother every month 1/2 around and we stayed positive knowing at one point we would be together. We never fought and we had a TON of trust. 2 years went by like this with no problem.

THEN... she moved in with 7 other people and I trusted her but they became the "party house." She never really had a period of time to let loose i guess and party it up. She stayed at my house for a month this past summer and i think the commitment scared her off. She met some guy she had feelings for, told me about it and was very open. She didnt cheat, she explained she felt weird and for the first time she didnt run off when someone hit on her like she usually would. It got her so confused and crazy and eventually I ended it. It was hard on both of us... this was in Sept.

Now, November rolls around and she notices I am with another girl. I am sure she got jealous, maybe thought I would wait around while she figured stuff out... but i didnt. I moved along... I kept communication open with her and said now is not the time. She still is in school for another yr and a half. She writes me a letter saying how she made a mistake, she loves me, im the one she wants to marry etc. I sent her a text saying I will take it to heart. She then writes something like, "I meant every word, I dont know whats wrong with me." I then flew to her state to see a mutual friend and she found out and sent me a text saying it was weird i was in her state and I didnt tell her so obviously I dont want to see her. She said she is going to stop contacting me now for now on and I should enjoy my stay.


Look, I still love her to death, i know deep down she is the one but maybe got blinded like i said with some influences from her friends. I did not respond to her last 2 texts out of respect to my new partner (we are not official but we act like it as of right now). Things are good, but i also feel bad not texting her back. She basically left me for another man and states she loves me still and all this stuff but then doesnt act on it. I even told her if it was me in her situation, I would have been at her door asking to talk.... nothing. I told her last time we spoke on the phone that we need to support eachother and i forgive her for what she did but dont know if I could forget. I love her and her family so much but I just feel like she might be playing games and not even knowing it. I feel she shouldnt want to see me and should put that effort into her new man that she chose to have relations with. I just want to shake her and guide her but I know I can not be the one to do that. How should I approach this with her contact. She says she doesnt want to contact me again but I know she will. Is she just young? Not contacting her the best thing?

Please help guys and girls!

Thanks
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Getting your ex back when you have children together

When you have children together, it might be easier or harder to get your ex back. This article explores both possibilities:

When you have children together, breaking up is harder. You have to be rational and calm even though thats the last thing you feel like being. Still, some people believe the trade-off for the breakup being so hard is that getting back together is much easier.

Read more at... Is it easier to get your ex back when you have children together?

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