Apology letter to ex after a breakup

I wish there were more sample letters like this out there. Its hard to figure out what you want to say to your ex, especially when you want to get back together.

Even harder, if youve been a little out of control -- like if youve been texting too often, or calling or driving by. You need to put a stop to all of that, and go NC (no contact) for a while until youre thinking straight again.

And you certainly need to apologize to your ex.

Even if you dont have anything to apologize for (and, well, are you sure about that?) a letter similar to this is still a good idea, to show that youre on board with breaking up. You wont get your ex back if you resist accepting the fact that you got dumped, no matter how unfair it seems.

But... to have to compose a letter when your heads a mess isnt easy. I think this example letter to an ex would be good for most breakup circumstances. You might have to change some parts, but its a good start.

-- Kit.

Letter of Apology to an Ex Lover - What to Say and How to Say It

By Dan K. Jenkins

When you look for advice on the internet about how to get your ex back, you discover that step one is to write a letter.

And you learn that it has to be a handwritten letter -- not typed, and not an email.

The purpose of the letter is to let your ex know youre sorry for whatever you did, and that you agree that breaking up is a good idea. This letter sets the stage for everything youll be doing afterwards, to try to get back together.

Why apologize in writing?

A hand-written letter, sent in a hand-addressed envelope, is the most personal form of delayed communication you can use.

Spoken communication, in person or over the phone, is too immediate. With immediate communication, some response is required -- but your ex might feel threatened, or feel like theres not enough time to think of the right response.

Text messages and email are too casual. Even a typed or printed letter feels distant, compared to the intimacy of a handwritten letter you took the time to pen yourself. Your letter to your ex absolutely must be written by hand, and written on paper, not on a card. A card is, once again, too casual.

When to apologize?

Send your letter as soon as possible, but be sure to wait until after you have thought about your situation, and think you understand what your ex is feeling.

While you compose your letter, you should feel regret, not anger. If you are still angry, then it is too soon to write a letter of apology. It is too soon to say you agree with the breakup.

You need to be certain about what you are apologizing FOR. For example:

• Did you hurt someones feelings?



• Is someone angry at you?



• Is someone afraid of you?



• Are you ashamed of something you said or did?



• Did you lie, steal, or cheat?



• Did you forget something important?

Even if it was an accident, you should apologize. Even if it felt justified at the time, you should apologize. Even if you know that in the same circumstances, you would do the same thing again -- you still ought to apologize.

What should you say in your letter?

Your letter of apology to your lover needs to communicate two things: That you are sorry for whatever you did that caused your breakup, and that you agree that breaking up is a good idea.

Dont spend too much time explaining why you did what you did. It wont help, especially if it was a repeat occurrence, or if you did it on purpose.

Dont be funny, and dont be crude or obscene.

Dont ask for an acknowledgement -- no, "Let me know if you got this" or anything like that. You should be prepared not to hear back.

Example apology letter

Here is a sample letter to an ex girlfriend...

Dear Amy,

I have been thinking a lot about how I hurt you, and I want to say Im sorry. I understand why you dont want to be with me any more. I agree it is a good idea.

Being away from you is hard on me, but I guess that after time goes by I wont miss you so much. I hope, anyway, because I would hate to feel like this forever.

I know it was the last straw. I know you think you cant trust me any more, after what I did. But please believe my apology. You mean more to me than anyone else does. You are the one I love.

Maybe after you have had some time away from me, you will want to talk to me again. If you ever need me, I will be there for you.

Love,
Kevin


Learn more about getting back together with your ex. Visit The Online Guide to Getting Back Together and find advice from experts on how to get your ex to come back to you.

This online guide will also lead you to professionally-written books with step-by-step instructions for getting back together with an ex.

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Sample Apology Letter to Ex

Just added another new article on HelpGettingBackTogether.com.

This ones all about writing an apology letter to your ex girlfriend or boyfriend.

It gives you an example of what to say and how to say it -- theres even a sample apology letter so you can see how its done.
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Letters of Apology Examples of what to say to your girlfriend

Saying sorry to a girlfriend or ex girlfriend is something thats hard for a lot of guys. If you need help, take a look at this new series of sample letters for apologizing to a girlfriend:

• 
  
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for being drunk
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for being drunk: It's hard because usually, this isn't the first time something like this has happened.
• 
  
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for cheating on her
  
  Here's a sample apology letter to a girlfriend for cheating. Your letter can be a little longer than this, but don't write pages of details.
• 
  
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for not trusting her
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for not trusting her: 'I don't want to spend the rest of my life making excuses for being jealous.'
• 
  
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for hurting her feelings
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for hurting her feelings: You didn't really mean anything by it, but she overheard it and now it's a big deal.
• 
  
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for forgetting
  
  Apology letter to girlfriend for forgetting: What she's really worried about is your reliability.

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How To Win Love Back

Its easy to fall into routines and habits in relationships where we all end up taking what we have for granted. We simply expect the other person to be there until one day the relationship comes crumbling down around you. Fortunately learning how to win love back is easier than most people believe.

The problem with most how to win love back tactics is that they dont take into consideration the primary differences between the way men and women think. Women will try very hard to make their man understand how much they love him and need him, while men view actions as speaking louder than any words you can say.

If youre serious about learning how to win love and get your ex back, then youll need to spend a bit of time removing the words from your relationships memories and taking a look at what your actions were saying.

Most women can think of times when they were trying hard to tell their man that they love him and want him to stay. You know the words you said, but what did your actions say? To a man, you would have been showing him how upset you were and how hurt you were. In his mind, he would have been thinking that hes the cause of all your misery, so youd be better off if he just broke up with you.  This means all your reassurances of how much you love him actually pushed him away!

Think about all the times where you both argued and got angry. Your words might have been trying to make him see reason and understand your point of view, but your actions were telling him something very different. Your man wouldnt have heard the words you shouted at him. He would only have seen a very unhappy woman who really wasnt happy with the man before her. His mind would instantly have thought he was the cause of your misery and hes believe its easier to break up with you rather than keep making you so unhappy. The same thing is true if you give him the silent treatment.

When youre learning how to win back love, you have to realize that your actions will speak far louder than any words you can say. Your partner wants you to be happy. He also wants to believe youre happy when youre spending time with him. The best possible way to show him that hes the right man for you is to go out and work on your own self-confidence levels.

When you feel happy within yourself and youre confident and brimming with life, youre irresistible to the man who fell in love with you. After all, when the relationship was still new and exciting, you were both bubbly and happy and pleased to spend time with each other. This is the version of you your partner fell in love with.

Spend some time working on things that make you happy. Hang out with friends or take a walk to clear your unhappy thoughts. Watch a fun movie and then suggest that you catch up with your man over a friendly cup of coffee. Your actions will show that youre a more pleasant person to be with and his feelings will start to re-kindle as though by magic.
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How To Win Ex Girlfriend Back With An Apology

No doubt all you can think about now shes walked out on you is how to win ex girlfriend back.  Possibly you didnt realize that you loved her, or perhaps how much you loved her, until she walked out on you and now youre in pain and desperate to figure out how to win ex girlfriend back. You will be able to get your ex back.

Well heres some information that will help you as you try to figure out the right moves that will help you get her back in your arms.

You might have made some mistakes, weve all been there, so dont beat yourself up!  The most constructive thing to do right now is not to try and rewrite history, instead you need to figure out how to step up and find a way to write the future for the two of you, that you want. 

If you need to apologize for anything that you did wrong, then get ready to do so.  What you should also do, is to make sure that you understand why youre apologizing.  Dont just go through the motions of an apology because you think its what she wants to hear.  No, look at the behavior that shes objecting to and try and understand her point of view.

The apology that you now come up with has to address two points if youre serious about figuring out how to win ex girlfriend back.  Make sure that you use the apology to convince your ex girlfriend that you have completely understood her point of view and also that youre one hundred percent ready to change that behavior.

It will be great if you have previously come up with a plan to prove to your ex that youre rally serious.  By that I mean do you need to go and talk to a professional about your behavior?  Well then make the appointment and make sure that you have actually attended a few sessions and are committed to continuing to talking to the professional.  Just a word of warning, if youre not sincere in this, youre wasting your time even trying to fool your ex girlfriend.

If you cheated on her, then try and figure out why you cheated.  Again, you cant rewrite history, but if you can begin to figure out what brought you to the point of cheating, then the next time you find yourself in that situation you will have a real shot at avoiding it.  Explain your thought process to your ex girlfriend and own your behavior.

When you go to talk to your girlfriend, as you attempt to answer your question how to win back ex girlfriend, make sure you give her space to say what she has to say and listen with sincerity.  Do all of the above and youre well on your way to getting her back.
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Getting your ex back when you have children together

When you have children together, it might be easier or harder to get your ex back. This article explores both possibilities:

When you have children together, breaking up is harder. You have to be rational and calm even though thats the last thing you feel like being. Still, some people believe the trade-off for the breakup being so hard is that getting back together is much easier.

Read more at... Is it easier to get your ex back when you have children together?

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How To Win Your Love Back And Keep Them

If youre looking around wondering how to win your love back, then youve no doubt found yourself in a situation where youre still in love with your ex, but your ex has walked out of the relationship.

Your first step to get your ex back and win your love has to be to take some time out and get your head together.  It would be a big mistake to try and win back your ex within days of the breakup, particularly if it has been a messy breakup.  So make sure that you take some time to sort yourself out.

Your first thought should always be to look after yourself.  That means avoiding your ex and making no contact with them at all. Its not going to be easy to go from being in a relationship with your ex to making no contact with your ex, but it is vital that you do.  Contacting your ex makes you weak and puts you in a negative and vulnerable position.  Particularly if your ex has asked to be left alone.  Constantly calling or trying to see your ex means that you become less appealing to them.  Exs hate needy and desperate, so back off if you want to win your love back.

Instead, work at sorting yourself our.  As you focus on yourself make sure that youre not spending all your time on your own.  It is very easy to find that when the love of your life walks out on you that you end up filling that space doing nothing but thinking about them.  This is a surefire way to find yourself depressed and low and recovering from depression brings a whole other level of problems that you dont need.

Get out and about and reconnect with your family and friends. Meet new people and make yourself have some fun.  Yeah, its not going to be easy, but if its the way forward to figuring out how to win your love back, then you have to do it.

As you slowly get back on your feet after the shock of the breakup, you should then begin to think about any role that you might have played in the breakup of the relationship.

It is very easy to blame your ex for everything that has gone wrong, but remember, it takes two to make a relationship and two to break that relationship.  So during this time away from your ex as you work on figuring out how to get back with them, make sure that you are honest with yourself and that you claim any part of the breakup that is down to you. 

Did you make a mistake that caused the break down of the relationship? If you did, then you need to figure out how youre going to rectify the behavior that led to the mistake and the eventual breakup.

Though some of the outlined steps might seem counter-intuitive, if youre serious about figuring out how to win your love back, they are steps that you must take.
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Ex back What next

Theres a new article on the main site called Ex Back? What Next?, on the topic of what you should do differently when you resume a relationship after you get your ex back.
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Getting Back Together New from Dan and Sam!

Sam has her first article, too, at GoArticles.

I Want Him Back!

Dan has two there also:

Using Psychology To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

9 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back
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How To Win Your Ex Back The Right Way

Truth is there are many ways that you can learn how to win and get your ex back.  Some of them will be ways that have no chance of working.  Being overly pushy about it is one way that some people will advocate, but that way is one that is doomed to failure in the overwhelming majority of cases.

There are also some ways that will have some chance of working, but will restart the relationship in a mode that is far too unhealthy for it to actually be able to last.  For example, some people have been known to cave in to pressure and verbal abuse on a level far exceeding the pushiness mentioned above.  In a very small minority of people, this type of strategy can work in reigniting a relationship.  However, those relationships are often abusive in one direction or another.  That is not what you want for the person that you want to be the love of your life.

That leaves the ways that have the best chance of working.  In reality, these ways are obvious once you remove the natural instincts that most people have when it comes to this particular topic.  Things like honesty, genuine affection for your ex and the ability to leave them alone when they really need space from you are things that are obvious once you drop the ego, pride and stubbornness in order to realize the truth of what is going on here.

The truth of what is going on is this.  Your ex dumped you.  That means that they voluntarily chose to end their association with you.  What you are trying to do is get them to not only voluntarily reverse that decision, but also voluntarily take it all the way back into the relationship they had beforehand.  For more people, that takes a huge shift in their thinking.  This is why pushiness is not going to work.  Slowly turning their opinion by changing the things about yourself that made them break up with you in the first place will work, but you have to do it right.

If you want to know how to win your ex back the right way, this is it.  There are two people that you need to look at.  The first is the person that you were when your ex fell in love with you.  The second is the person that you were when your ex dumped you.  If you can figure out what changed between these two people, you will have a recipe for reversal that can get you to look attractive once again to your ex-lover.

Your goal here is to make them look at you with interest once more.  Unless they look at you with interest, you are not going to be able to get them to come back to you.  They need to be interested and attracted, just like they were the first time they fell in love with you.  This strategy has the best chance of making you look like those things to your former partner once again.
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