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Dont Read This Spend Your Time Better

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Priorities, motherfucker

Always bite off more than you can chew, and then just spit out the parts you don’t like.

Hey kids! Today I want to talk to you about “priorities”. You see, in order to have the most constructive lifestyle possible, we must all learn the art of time management, and the very root of this art revolves around the skill of prioritising. That is (simply put), doing what is most important first, and then brutally cutting the fat off the process in order to streamline our focus and produce a sharp object to stab self-inflicted deadlines in the eye with.

I am forever juggling more projects than I can, and sometimes these goals tend to fall on top of me, suffocating my enthusiasm, murdering my potential. This kind of analogy works even better when considering I was in South Africa for just under three weeks in February, watching my little sister getting married and chilling with my family and having sex with people I’ve never had sex with before and whatnot. Don’t get me wrong, it was magical and made my life in London appear quite tedious, but more related to this, it carved out a huge hole in my usually reliable routine.

Once resurfacing my head above water and breathing once more, I had to prioritise. The redesign of Juice Nothing, for example, was the first to go. As much as Im excited about the project, I could not justify allocating precious time to fixing something which was not quite broken. More on topic, the next easy casualty was these very news items. The reasons are obvious: nobody reads them, they take too long to write, and they are essentially stupid blabberings which serve very little purpose other than to keep a record of my own progress, a reference point so I can look back and pat myself on the head and rationalise another beer for lunch.

Luckily (and as the rest of this piece will detail), I managed to get back onto my feet relatively quickly and have finally caught up, now 100% on target for my quota, even if no one would notice besides me. Which is why after quite some time, here I am to tell you what has been going on in Juice World, and have much more news than usual. What a wonderful thing! Read it or die:


JUICE NOTHING
Since the last news update, I have released five full articles, all of which I feel were above average and worthy of your love. As follows:

Dear 2013
Jesus, this one feels like a million years old already, has it really been that long? Anyway, this was the fifth of my on-going end of year summary articles. As painful as ever to write, I do feel they serve a purpose: a fantastic way for anyone to look back on the year previous whilst slipping unimportant details about my own life in amongst the facts in order to con people into caring about me. I hate the imagery, but in general it was another substantial effort, proving I am getting quite good at executing the idea by now.

The 15 Greatest Fuck Yous In Music
The rough idea for this one had been knocking at my door for about a year or so, hence why it was quite nice to finally let it in. The only unusual take on this piece was that I hardly researched for it at all, rather relying on musical conflicts which already resided in my memory. So I guess its special in that way, whilst completely forgetting many much superior entries, Im sure. People enjoyed it regardless.

How To Heal Heartbreak In 20 Steps
And then this one came out swinging like the lost hurt demon it was, crushing the popularity of any article released the whole of last year, snapping at 5,000 hits and still fighting. I feel confident that this will be the undefeated “article of the year” for 2014, with many many people already showering me with thanks, and its not hard to see why. Its because its a topic you have to be in a very unique place to write. Its because I put (what was left of my) heart and soul into its execution. It’s because I was there. I felt those thing. And I fixed it.

The 10 Coolest Things The Beatles Ever Did
Whilst in South Africa, a very quick conversation with some friends took place one evening. It was about The Beatles, obviously, and I came to remember what a very special group they were, and not even in the obvious ways. In the ways which most people arent aware of, little achievements that put them on the map in angles so unique that it only further cemented their position in history. A month or so later, this piece was born, which was a refreshing process rather than the years upon years I usually spend picking away at most my other writings. And with such a popular topic, its no wonder that it too has racked up thousands of reads, and the pictures were pretty good too.

The 20 Greatest Songs Of All Time
I just launched this one right now, and am quite stoked with it. I eagerly look forward to people telling me how much they hate it in the near future, because opinions are like assholes, and the internet is full of both those things.

As is the nature of my unfair self expectations, I already know every piece which will be written this year except for one. I am not going to give much away, but I will say the next three probably wont be music related, and there may also be a hint somewhere in here:


THE GOAT’S NEST
As predicted in the last news item, I managed to write a short story on the plane ride to South Africa. There was only one problem: it was uber lame. And so I threw those rough notes aside, and rewrote it without even looking at the original draft, which was better, but still not perfect. It needs some serious love and attention, and I am hoping to do that right now, my goal to shit it out within the next month or so. As I may have mentioned, it’s kind of a prequel to The Johnson Line, without actually being that whatsoever.


THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUGS
Related to the previous entry, is my debut novel. If you look at it one way, I am truly on the last stretch, putting the final touches on the final version, most of the book already neatly formatted and looking all professional like. However, if you look at it another way, there are still a stupid amount of other bits that need to be sorted out, so God knows when it will be released. I’m thinking July? August? September?? But I promise, this is moving forward with bloodthirsty vigour, and I adore every fucking second of it.


ANOTHER THING
I dont know why I love doing this, but I do. Here is confirmation that there is another little thing in the works which is very exciting and newsworthy, and yet I am going to tell you absolutely nothing about it. However, I will give it the code name Fox Tail for now as a reference point, but I honestly dont think it should take crazy long for more info to leak from me. Its a fictional thing. Its a collaborative thing. Its a rad thing.


COMING DOWN HAPPY
In January, the final piece of the The Black EP puzzle was released, namely Oh My God, Amen. It’s my favourite CDH song so far, and a few other people agreed, probably because it was less about perversion and child abuse, more about nintendo and surreal happiness. I am learning about target markets.
Anyways, with this release we came to the end of the second phase of three, and the gap between this and the next will be muuuuuch longer. I need it! Im dying! Instead, I will be focusing on a brand new set of songs with a whole new approach, and this is already well underway. I’m not going to give too much away, except that they will feature real instruments! Look at what I gone and done:

New Coming Down Happy Equipment

Expect evidence soon. Like, real soon. Sooner than you think. But while you wait, why not listen to all my songs in a row with this Spotify exclusive compilation, The Grey Lp.


THE FUNPOWDER PLOT
Somehow, The Plot managed to spit out two videos this year already, equalling 2013’s efforts, which is a relief. They also had nothing to with me, which is also a relief. A little something like this:

Putin Wins Olympic Gold
This was Kris’ 22 second baby, attacking Putin’s expenditures on the Olympics whilst ignoring the country’s terrible drug problem. At least he could fund the addict’s habits a bit, right? I’m sure that’s what Kris meant. Simple yet effective, I am a fan.

Shura - Touch
Ammr directed this music video for Shura, and by God, it’s incredible. Incredible. One of the best music videos I’ve seen in years, in fact, and I beam with pride that my boy had so much to with it. Proof is in the pudding, as it’s already racked up to 182,500 views (and counting), more than any other FPP creation to date, getting write ups all over the internets. I think it’s the best thing ”we’ve” ever done, so it deserves every second of the attention.


Shew, I think that’s everything? I truly rushed this motherfucker, because, you know, priorities. Did I mention I am a model now?

Its quite late in the year to be saying stuff like this, but my motto for 2014 is as follows: “No more deadlines, much more lifelines”. Uhm, it needs work, but in summary, it means I will no longer be placing unnecessary pressure on my own creative missions, opting to instead spend more time with people I like and dealing out my time to them. Because I’ve been working my tits off the last few years to very little reward, and I reckon there is more to life than this.

That said, these plans tend to make themselves, and I am bound to have another panic attack any day now. Hope you enjoy it!

Jared


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The Law Of Abundance And Your New Life

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By Kim McMillan

There is nothing complicated about the law of abundance, to put it simply all you need to do is believe. You should believe you deserve wealth, health, happiness, love and think positive. That is it, no more no less. All types of people have been abiding by this law for generations and this simplistic belief has reaped many benefits for them.

Its lack of difficulty is the best thing about the law of abundance. It may be a novel concept but the truth is everything you have and who you are is a product of what you have been thinking over the past few years. Believe it or not the things you do not have are also a product of this type of thinking.

When you wake up every day, the law of abundance is automatically at work for you. The problem with most people is that they fail to take advantage of the powers that be in their lives.

If you want your dreams to come true and manifest themselves in your life, you must look at what you have already. It is through appreciation for these things that you will see multiplication begin to take hold in your life.

Its common sense. If you are naturally a pessimistic person, thinking positively about life may seem like a challenge. In reality, all you are doing is breaking a bad habit. Again, taking advantage of the law of abundance doesnt have to be difficult.

When you awake each day, you have the ability to create multiple opportunities for happiness and wealth. When you greet the day in a foul mood however you are setting yourself up to experience disappointment and even failure. If you need some help along the way, try posting notes around the house about how successful and lucky you truly are.

Being open to this level of abundance, you will find there are so many things for you to attain. By not taking advantage of the law of abundance, people will foil their own success and wealth. If you truly want to prevent this, you must take control of your thought life. Make it a conscious decision to change the way you think.

When a negative thought sneaks into your thought processes flip it upside down and turn it into something that is positive for you. There are those who find it beneficial to feed off these negative thoughts. If you are naturally pessimistic, this may be something you can work with to bring about the law of abundance.

Many people are constantly thinking of themselves in the negative, feeling like they are fat or ugly, next time try telling yourself how beautiful and fit you are. You will feel the happiness begin to flow abundantly in you. At this point, you will have whatever you ask for because this energy is irresistible and contagious.

Do you want to see abundance increase in your life drastically? Instead of constantly thinking, you never have any money turn it around and say you have everything you need and then some!

Making the law of abundance a moving force in your life is something you can achieve. When you accept life, the way it is and appreciate what you already have, you open the door to the law and you will be absolutely amazed by how much better things will be. - 30535

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Americas Five Founding Fathers Where Great Men and Outlaws! Some Things Dont Change!

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By L.J. James

What a crazy world we live in today. Its come to a point where you just dont know what to believe any more. The "news" media has gone from investigative reporting to regurgitating Government and Corporate "News Releases" as actual news.

The thing that I dont understand is, some people actually believe everything they see on TV or read in the paper or on the Internet. You can tell people the Sky is falling but if it wasnt reported on CNN, People will just think your some kind of crazy Chicken Little. Chunks of the sky could be hitting them in the head and they still wouldnt believe it. If CNN reports that the Sky is Falling and states the reason as "human over consumption of oxygen", people start trying to figure out how to stop breathing so they can stop the Sky from falling. It doesnt matter if the real reason is some new Military Toxin.

Lets say there is some national disaster and you say something different from the official Government release on why and how it happened. Now youre some kind of crazy Conspiracy Nut. Again It doesnt matter what kind of proof you have, what kind of scientific evidence you try and present, youre just a nut and no one wants to listen to you. Because We all know the United States Government would never lie to us. Theyd never conspire against the people of this country. Anyone remember The "Gulf of Tonkin" incident? Iran/Contra? Weapons of Mass Destruction?

Were used to hearing about the Government Controlled Media in places like China and Russia, but what of the "News" media in the United States? Just a few months ago our Government was besieged with letters, email, and phone calls by people who were vehemently against the so-called Wall Street Bail-Out. At first the measure failed. CNN broadcast a week of programming designed to "educate" us stupid Americans on the reasons why we needed to pay for this bail-out. The next week it passed.

This is not the "Free Press" our founding fathers envisioned. Our founding fathers envisioned a "Free Press" that would help to keep our Politicians and our Government honest, as a way to speak out against injustices, not an "education" tool.

What has happen to the Spirit of the American people? When did we stop demanding to know the truth about what is going on? When did the Truth get too hard for us to handle? Is it fear? It seems every time someone uses the phrase "National Security", that somehow, we understand thats all we need to know. Is it apathy? What happened to the days of protest, the intolerance of greed and corruption? Throughout History there are examples of great Societies that have fallen, not from outside forces, but from corruption within.

We live in a world of the Future where things that seemed impossible yesterday are common place by tomorrow. For some of us, were too busy trying to make it to tomorrow to worry about what is happening politically in the World. Were too busy working and taking care of our families to seek the truth or get involved with some kind of cause. Many still believe that eventually the Government will take care of us, that despite the loss of our industry, the loss of our jobs, the loss of our freedoms, and the lowering of our standard of living, the Governments still have our best interests at heart.

When we see Governments around the World curtailing our right of assembly, our freedom of speech, do we stand up or do we accept it? Lately, it seems that these political entities have been giving those of us in Motorcycle Clubs a little extra attention. Why is that? Most Motorcycle Clubs are made up of principled, patriotic men who value family, brotherhood and their communities above all else. Many are Veterans of Wars past and present. Why are we viewed as Radicals & Extremists? The Governments of the world have begun pushing hard to break us up, shut us down. As a Biker and a Member of a Motorcycle Club I see many injustices taking place all over the world.

I have seen Motorcycle Clubs names and logos seized in dirty under handed methods. Large Clubs charged with Crimes and their members locked away. Government Agents inserted into clubs for years so that they can introduce drugs and violence into the clubs in an effort to bring them down. Ex Members and "friends" of Motorcycle Clubs offered Millions of Dollars if they can come up with charges against these Motorcycle Clubs!

Just as in any culture or society, there are going to be a few bad apples. The problem is, the Government and the Media have conspired to paint everyone in the Biker World with the same brush. Ill bet it takes you 5 seconds to think of a News Story, Movie, or Documentary that youve seen portraying Bikers negatively, but I bet you cant think of one that shows us feeding the poor, protecting the children, or raising money for every disease known to man.

Watching Motorcycle Clubs slowly being taken down in such blatantly unjust ways is scaring the hell out of me. What makes me sad is at the same time these wolves are getting through the gate and destroying the MC world, Many Motorcycle Clubs continue to fight against each other! These fights are embellished and sensationalized on TV and in the press. They are then used by the Governments of the world as the fuel they need to continue to shut down all Motorcycle Clubs.

Motorcycle Clubs, much like the United States of America, were started with incredible Ideals. Both set down on paper what they were about and what they stood for. It is time for both Motorcycle Clubs and Americans to get back to their core beliefs. I believe with all my Heart that true Members of Motorcycle Clubs hold the ideals of Freedom and Brotherhood higher than any other group anywhere.

As I have said many times before I am no Hippie and I do not preach peace or love, I am a true Biker! It is just that I have realized "Rome is burning" and only by working together can we hope to be able to stop the fire! Motorcycle Clubs are like people and not everyone will always get along, We are always going to have our differences.

What needs to happen now is for members of every Motorcycle Club in the World to look deep inside and ask themselves, "What is the most important thing to me?" If you truly believe in Motorcycle Club Brotherhood, and you have felt true Motorcycle Club Brotherhood, the answer will be simple. We as members of Motorcycle Clubs, need to set aside our differences and unite as one so that we may work together to save the Motorcycle Club world! We must fight against those who would take away everything we are and have us live as slaves.

Next time you hear that a Government or one of its agents has brought down another Brother or a Motorcycle Club you didnt like, dont celebrate, because the next time it will be you and your club. They wont stop until we are all gone.

I am Your Bro, LJ James AmericanBikerX.com - 30535

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Developing Your Clairvoyant Abilities Dont Doubt Yourself

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By Paul B Dickinson

Clairvoyance is definitely a controversial topic-no matter to whom you speak. It goes against the grain of many religious beliefs and the reality most people understand. And while medical science has taught us much about the human mind, there is still so much that is unknown or unproven that we remain mystified about topics such as this. People who believe in the power and abilities of clairvoyants believe those people are able to tap into a sixth sense or a region of the brain not yet fully explored or understood.

Perhaps everyone has a bit of clairvoyant ability at their disposal. They just may not know it. For others-a minority to be certain-clairvoyant abilities are obvious and undeniable. These are the people we hear of who are considered natural clairvoyants. Other people, however, may wish to explore their own clairvoyant abilities or gifts and try to develop this sixth sense. If you want to develop your clairvoyant abilities, you must become a clairvoyant free of all self-doubt.

The way to start is with a complete acceptance and an open mind to all things psychic. To those who doubt and question, the door to developing their latent clairvoyant will remain forever locked.

But what does clairvoyance really mean? Well, clairvoyance may be described as the ability to discern events naturally, (through this so called sixth sense), that have happened in the past, or are about to happen at sometime in the future, or that are happening simultaneously some distance away. Sometimes this ability comes in flashes or bursts to the untrained, often in times of deep stress or impending danger, as in stories of people who have a premonition that their flight will crash and who then purposely miss that flight to later find out that the flight did indeed end in disaster.

So, in order to become a true clairvoyant free your mind of all skepticism and open your awareness to be all-encompassing. Clairvoyance is drawn from the universe around us, and in order to develop as a clairvoyant you must be able to become as one with this universe. To develop this serene sense of "oneness" you must first learn to practice meditational type exercises.

Everything around us is born of, and is therefore a part of the universe and it is by learning to attune our spirits with it that we can tap into the universal continuum, and see events that have taken place or that are yet to take place, or sometimes something that is happening elsewhere in the world.

As you develop this new awareness, you should know that you may first experience small glimpses that you cannot really decipher. Perhaps it will be a feeling or an emotion, a flash of an image, or a new sound. You are beginning to become a part of the universal continuum. Accept it and continue to practice meditating and increasing your awareness.

To be a successful clairvoyant belief is everything, for if you have any shadow of doubt, you will not be able to progress to the level of the complete clairvoyant free from worrying what they see, or feel, or hear being only in their imagination.

In our society, it is sometimes difficult to accept that we may have any clairvoyant abilities at all. Certainly we were never encouraged to think so in our upbringing. Rather, the focus of our education was on concrete objects and verifiable facts or equations, not fanciful thoughts or imagination.

But a clairvoyant free from such misgivings will be able to develop and "tune" their ability of receptiveness. At the beginning of your journey into clairvoyance, the trance like state of meditation is however key. As you progress and become more assured, your ability to tune yourself in will become second nature. You will learn quickly how to shut out the material world in order to be able to make way for the spiritual universe.

A clairvoyant free from distractions and the "politics" of life will be able to perform much more efficiently. It is important to have complete harmony around you. If there is anything that you feel is disharmonious, you need to cleanse yourself of it. If it is an object, get rid of it. If it is a person, avoid them. Any distractions will subtract from your ability to practice your clairvoyance.

You must also maintain a quiet, still confidence in yourself and your ability. This is the key to removing self-doubt. A clairvoyant free of negativity can receive insights, and as you become more confident, you will increase confidence in the people around you, as well.

If desired, you may even wish to explore some tools and techniques other clairvoyants use. Tarot cards, crystal balls, and palm readings are utilized by some clairvoyants. This, too, could be a tool that will help you explore your gifts.

To be a true clairvoyant is a gift. Many well-known and famous people speak with clairvoyants to access their insight before making important life decisions. Some clairvoyants even become famous for their remarkable insights. If you have the gift, embrace it and use it to help others. - 30535

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10 Reasons Why 10 is My Favourite Number

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(1) 10 is the first double digit number in the whole entire Universe.
(2) 10 is the base of the decimal numeral system, most likely due to our 10 fingers.
(3) My name is Jared Woods. Its 10 letters long.
(4) J is the 10th letter of the alphabet.
(5) I was born on the 16th of October 1984 (16/10/94). October is the 10th month of the year.
(6) Back to 16/10/84: remove previous 10, and you’re left with 16/84. 16 + 84 = 100 = Ten 10s.
(7) In binary, 10 is like saying "yes no".
(8) It has heavy religious connotations (Ten Commandments, ten plagues on Egypt, Ten Martyrs in Jewish liturgy, ten generations between Noah and Abraham, the ten incarnations of Lord Maha Vishnu in Hinduism etc).
(9) It is the name of many music artists’ albums, including but not limited to: LL Cool J, New Kids on the Block, Wet Wet Wet, The Stranglers, Girls Aloud, and Pearl Jam.
(10) Finally, it represents the nature of all life, if you think about it: 1 seemingly phallic (looks like a penis), 0 seemingly yonic (looks like a vagina).

With that, here comes some stuff which is far less interesting: the latest on what’s been going on in my busy little creative life. Enjoy!


Juice Nothing

The 100 Best Songs Of The Decade So Far (2010 - 2014)
December is always the toughest month for my writing schedules, and so traditionally I like to take it easier in January. But, of course, when the above topic covers such a specific time period as this one, you can’t leave it too long before it becomes outdated. So I did the next best thing, and wrote 100 reviews for songs in 140 characters or less, like Twitter! Was a great experiment, a real test to push myself to condense my usual ramblings into a more concentrated length, and personally, I felt it was a success (even if no one else has really said so).

Worst To Best: David Bowie
As the third of my “Worst to Best” series, and the first one to venture into the world music, there could be no worthier candidate than the master of everything, David Bowie. I worked reaaaally hard on this blog, actually the whole of January was spent relistening to all of his albums in chronological order to rate them as such, carefully reviewing each one as I went along. I think it came out great, and a tough contender to beat for my favourite of the year.

20 Hottest Girls Ever (Part II)
Just launched this one, and everything you need to know is in the introduction. To summarise: (1) It is the sequel to my 2010 hit of the same name; (2) It is arguably the dumbest thing Ive ever written; and (3) I did it for the hits. Please forgive me.

As per usual, lots of plans, lots of ideas. I have more blogs I wanted to write this year than I could possibly find time for, so everything is going to be ok on this side, don’t you worry.


This Very Blog

Without announcing it whatsoever, I secretly changed the overall design of this very site you’re reading right now, perhaps you noticed? If not, here is a refresher:



Muuuuch better, I’m sure you will agree. Perhaps now I can go back to the redesign of the Juice Nothing home page? Probably not.


Coming Down Happy

Nothing major to really report, except that I have been working damn hard on the Sex is Disgusting EP (there is a studio diary with more details here if you are interested) and it is finally coming together somewhat, to the point that I am actually excited about it for the first time in probably six months. There is a looooong way to go, I’m not even convinced I’ll finish it this year, but who cares? It’s only music.

Related: as I mentioned in the last news update, there is a really huge new section coming to the Coming Down Happy site within the first half of this year. No spoilers, but it’s moving along, looking pretty rad, and is well overdue.

More news about CDH in the FPP section below, scrolly scoll.


The Goat’s Nest

I am 90% sure that the next piece on this blog will be the sequel to The Triangular Theory of Love. It’s pretty much done. Just need a bit of polish and then come the end of April, it’s all yours (hopefully).

Furthermore, I will be on an aeroplane soon (more on that in the conclusion), and as is tradition, I will be starting my next short story on said flight. I guess I might as well tell you that it will be the continuation of Clean Birth.

Finally, This is Your Brain on Drugs, my full length fucking novel thing, is very very close now. There are only one or two illustrations left I think, then just a tiny amount of formatting and other bits and shits to take care of. Honestly, I shouldn’t be working on anything else until this is out, but it seriously could be any month now.


The Funpowder Plot

A new video! And I made it all by myself!
It’s called Valentine’s Day and was part of those “Monthly Projects” I spoke of last news item. The month in question was January, where armed with nothing but crayons and Adobe Flash, I spat this out. I am super stoked with it as was everyone else, and while it didn’t go viral as I always hope, it is still one decent player in the game of Jared, and it’s nice to have contributed to the Plot solo for once.

Besides this, The Freewheelin’ Troubadour is getting married soon and embarking on a massive long tour of the world, which leaves only me, Loose, and Ammr to hold the fort. Ammr himself has become very popular since that Shura video received over eight and a half million hits, and as a result, he has a lot of offers coming in, which should provide some great content for the site.

Of course, this means that the Coming Down Happy video has kinda been pushed back, and it looks like I will be tackling this one all by myself once again, which is good, because CDH was always a DIY thing anyway. Perhaps I may not have the technical genius of my comrades nor the fancy equipment, but I do have ideas and a big plan. I know how to get what I want, and I know how to make it look good. Slowly, this is becoming a priority.


Painting

Once again, as part of this “monthly projects” thing I’ve been doing, I started painting with acrylic over Feb, and loved it so much that I kinda let it leak into March. This is what I’ve spat out so far:
Miley Cyrus
Slender Man and Maddie
Goodbye Kitty

For a while, this art form really connected to my life for some reason, and it has been many years since I felt so passionate about an avenue. It’s so therapeutic, at points I didn’t go to parties just because this is what I want to spend my time doing. However, I will be taking a break now, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a few more appear throughout the year, and perhaps some kind of a big announcement at the end. Yes, I know something you don’t.


Band

It is with a sad heart that I announce our guitarist, Andy, has left us to go live in Bristol. The decision was understood and the whole thing, while shit, happened on good terms. The rest of us spoke about it and decided we wanted to continue, but rather than replace Andy, Milz (previously vocals/violin) has moved to keyboards, and we honestly sound even better in my opinion. We have the workings of about five songs or so, and I actually really like them, which is a rare thing for me. I have had bad band experiences before, but God, I really hope this one at least makes it to some sort of recording/gigging stage. It’s so much fun.


Yup, I think that’s it. Now, as I touched upon earlier, I am off to India from the end of this month ‘til the the 11th of April. I am not sure if this is important, but it may be, as whatever was planned for said time period will obviously get no love whatsoever. I think things will be ok though, because everything always is.

Oh, finally, I have been taking Instagram heaps more cereal these days, so you should follow me! Seriously, please follow me. It gives my life meaning.

Ok bye,
Jared


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What Can Save Marriage When Everything Seems Hopeless

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What can save marriage when everything seems hopeless? 
Marriage is considered a sacred institution by most of the world’s religions.  It is the foundation of the family, which, in turn, is the foundation for society.  So, there is a lot of emphasis on saving a marriage.
But that doesn’t mean that marriages today don’t run into trouble.  The changing roles of men ad women, financial pressures, and difficulties with children all make it hard to make marriages work.
So who do you turn to?
Perhaps the best place to look is the institution that values marriage more than any other – the church.
While a clinical psychologist or licensed family therapist will take an individualistic approach to marriage counseling, a pastor will focus on making the marriage work in a wholistic sense.  Over all, this has a better chance of actually saving the marriage.
Why is a pastoral counselor better than a secular therapist? 
A secular therapist’s education focuses almost entirely on treating individual psychopathologies.  Even “Marriage and Family” designated counselors may have only one class or elective dealing specifically with couple’s therapy.  Do you think this approach can save marriage?
A pastoral counselor, on the other hand, will be educated in how to bring couples closer together.  With the exception of abuse in the relationship, they have the fundamental belief that once the vows are taken, the marriage is forever.
Some pastoral counselors have formal education in counseling.  More and more seminaries are offering pastoral counseling degrees.  But even ministers without a formal degree take classes and seminars in the subject.
If you don’t have a church home, you might have some difficulty finding a pastor to help you.  And, you don’t have six months to establish membership in a church before approaching the pastor.
In this case, you can call various churches and ask them if they have any upcoming couples retreats where you can save marriage through these weekend seminars.  Once you have established a relationship with a skilled pastor in these settings, you may be able to do follow up counselor with the same person.
A good couple’s retreat will help you deal with many different types of issues.  There will be group sessions and couple’s sessions.  You will also have time to work on questions individually.
Communication is a big issue at these conferences.  If you can work on your communications issues, you will find that the other pieces of the relationship fall into place.
Sex, finances, and child raising are also addressed.  The goal is to get you back on track in every aspect of your relationship.  You don’t have to be on the same page going in, but the hope is that you will be when you leave. 
Marriage is tough.  Sometimes it seems like the relationship cannot endure.  But, there are so many reasons to see if you can’t make it work.  In this case, consider seeing if a pastor can save marriage.
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Why Men Dont Leave Their Wives

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If you are unlikely enough to find yourself in a relationship with a married man you have to understand why men dont leave their wives.  Its true, married men rarely leave their wives for their mistresses.  And to be honest, even if he did, why would you want a man who is a cheater?
Woman are compassionate, loving, forgiving, kind, and sometimes very gullible.  You might think hell leave his wife because shes old, fat, mean, stupid, nuts, controlling, etc.  And maybe she is, but the truth is shes probably none of these things, after all why would he have married her if she was?  Its much more likely that hes just bored and youre a convenient distraction.
Few women would knowingly start a relationship with a married man if he started talking about what a sexy and wonderful person his wife was, so as hard as it is to believe married men will often lie so that you can justify having sex with him.
The reasons men cheat usually come down to the fact that their marriage has gotten stale and one or more of his needs (not just sexually) are not being met to his satisfaction.  Thats the same reason women cheat too.
The problem is that at the end of the day he probably still has feelings for his wife or at least doesnt want to go through the expense of a divorce.  You also have to take into consideration the way both sides of his family will react, and if there are kids involved most men are unwilling to hurt their own children.
If you are a women who is involved with a married man and want to know why men dont leave their wives there can be many reasons.  The important thing to remember is that it really doesnt matter why he wont leave, it only matters that you know he probably wont leave his wife and hes not much of a prize even if he did.
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Series Communicating with your ex Part 2

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This is the second article in a 3-part series on communicating with an ex.

It is targeted toward broken relationships where children are in the picture, but I think the advice applies to anyone who ends up communicating with an ex, for whatever reason -- including someone who wants to get an ex back.

After a breakup, when emotions are high and every past argument feels like it happened only yesterday, its easy to find yourself using hurtful words when you talk to your ex. You yell, you accuse, you insult. You say things you dont mean to say, because the way you see it, you were hurt first.

But it doesnt have to be that way. If you think first, and plan ahead for what NOT to say, you can communicate successfully with your ex.

And if youre trying to get your ex back, good communication is essential. -- Kit

Minimize Conflict During Divorce by Eliminating "Fighting Words" in Your Communications


By Mary Wollard

There are words and phrases that are so provocative that they are bound to elicit a sharp response from the target. In fact, theyre usually intended to. When you describe someone with labels such as "liar," "selfish," "abusive," "evil" and "uncaring," these are "fighting words."

If youre peppering your communication with these kinds of words when you speak with your ex or soon-to-be-ex, its time to stop. Even when you do have a valid point to make, these words will not help you make it.

Lets look at an example of communication using these fighting words:

Parent A: "Sally is scared to go to your house because you make her go to bed without a nightlight. This is just another example of how abusive you are and how you dont care about your child at all."

Parent B: "You are such a liar. Sally loves to come over here, but shes afraid to let you know it. When will you stop trying to turn Sally against me and accept that she loves me? If you werent so selfish, maybe Sally wouldnt have to lie to you about her time here."

This conversation between Parent A and Parent B will likely go on for some time, getting louder and more hostile. No matter which parent Sally is with at the time of the conversation, she will get an earful, even if the parents think shes asleep or in another room at the time. The conversation will not accomplish anything other than to frighten and upset Sally.

When you are tempted to use fighting words, stop to think what the issue really is. In the example above, Parent A is concerned about the lack of a nightlight at the other house. Rather than send the message above, Parent A might have said, "I just wanted to let you know that Sally has gotten used to sleeping with a nightlight on. Im guessing shell give it up at some point, but for now, shes really more comfortable with one on at night. Having a nightlight at both houses will probably help make the transition between houses easier for her."

Parent B, on the other hand, feels accused of being a bad parent and wants to fight off claims of being abusive or selfish. Instead of reacting to the words Parent A used, Parent B could have responded to the concern. Here is a response that would have been more helpful: "Thank you for your email, I will talk to Sally about the nightlight when shes here next. I didnt realize it was so important to her."

Remember, Mums the word when it comes to fighting words. Dont use them and By addressing the underlying issue without using provocative language, divorcing parents can reduce the conflict between them and focus on positive parenting for their children.

© 2009, Mary Wollard, J.D., Family Solutions Center, LLC


Mary A. Wollard, JD, is an attorney, mediator, and arbitrator with over 20 years experience in solving the legal issues of divorce, parenting (custody), marital property and support. In addition to helping families through mediation and arbitration, Ms. Wollard provides parenting coordination and decision-making services to families when on-going conflict prevents them from fully implementing their parenting plan after divorce. Visit http://www.cofamilysolutions.com/downloads.htm for free downloadable worksheets you can use to organize your familys transition.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mary_Wollard
http://EzineArticles.com/?Minimize-Conflict-During-Divorce-by-Eliminating-Fighting-Words-in-Your-Communications&id=2055520



Series continues with Part 3.
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You Dont Want Divorce 3 Ways To Stop It

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Things aren’t going well, but you don’t want divorce to end your relationship. What can you do?  If you don’t want divorce there are three specific things you can do to stop it.
These tips won’t work in every situation—some relationships are too far gone. But most relationships start having troubles long before they reach this point, thankfully.
When you don’t want divorce but your partner does, try being quiet for a while.Just don’t say anything. Stop complaining. The worst thing you can do is to carry on about how you don’t want to get divorced.
You can let your partner know that you don’t want the divorce. And that’s about all you can do. Perhaps you could reassure them that couples go through this kind of thing all the time and are still together today. Just don’t do it more than once.
If you carry on and carry on about how you want to stay together, you’ll probably just annoy your partner, making it less likely for him to be open to the idea of staying together. The whole point is to make yourself extra desirable to your partner again.
It’s unlikely he or she finds you particularly desirable when you’re complaining and whining about inconsequential things. That tendency to complain and even nag may have had something to do with why the relationship broke up in the first place, remember.
You want to show your very best side to your partner at all times. When you started dating this person, you were probably on your own very best behavior. Everyone does that to win a mate’s heart. Then as things start to stagnate a little because the mate is won and there’s no need to compete with others anymore, the tendency to whine and complain begins.
Stop this immediately and go back to your very best “going to win them” courting behavior. That is often such a switch from the way things were in the beginning, that it seems almost too good to be true.
Going hand in hand with taking care not to complain or nag is learning to simply be agreeable. We tend to take our partner for granted and when he or she suggests something we’re not happy with, we make it known. If we do that too often it can start to seem to our partner that they can’t do or say anything right!
If you don’t want divorce then learn to agree with your partner even when you don’t want to. That might sound a little extreme, but you’re in rescue mode right now. You just want to do everything you can to save the marriage. It doesn’t’ mean that you’ll never be able to disagree with them for the rest of your life.
You need to learn to not whine, to agree and to do it all with a smile on your face. If you don’t want divorce you’ll have to do these things for at least a little while.
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