Relationship Breakup

Ease the Pain of a Relationship Breakup Right Now

A relationship breakup is one of the hardest things most people will ever have to do Indeed, most studies on stress show that a divorce ranks even higher on the stress scale than losing a loved one. Most people dont have any idea how to properly handle a relationship breakup.

The end of a relationship will always be painful, even if its one that needs to be broken up. Youve spent a lot of time and emotion with this person, and even if youre the one doing the breaking up, its going to come with a lot of hurt feelings.

Obviously, this going to be even worse if youre the one being broken up with. A relationship breakup that you dont want or expect is a horrible event. What you have to keep in mind is that a relationship needs two people in it. You may want it to go on, but if the other person has checked out, you may have to consider that the relationship needed to end.

Still there are techniques you can use to ease the pain of a relationship breakup. Im going to outline several techniques that have been proven to help relieve the pain of a broken heart and move you past the hurt.
Step One: Figure Out Why

You need to know why the relationship ended. This doesnt matter if you were the one doing the breaking up or the one being broken up with. Either way you need to do some soul searching to find out what the reasons were behind the breakup. If you have some questions about why you broke up, then youre never going to be able to move beyond the relationship breakup.

Step Two: Get Rid of Reminders
You need to get some space between you and the person youve broken up with. This means that you cant go to bed each night hanging on to your exs old sweater. You need to clean the deck and get your mind off of them. You need to make a clean break, so you need to put away all the little reminders.

Step Three: Positive People
There are negative people in the world and there are positive people. If youve just experienced a relationship breakup, youre going to find that you are in a very negative place. What you need to do is find the most upbeat and positive people you can and spend as much time with them as possible. In combination with the previous two steps, this will put you in the right place to move.

Step Four: Start Dating Again
The final step in recovering from a relationship break up is to start dating other people. The thing you need to keep in mind is that you are not trying to replace your ex, youre just trying to start seeing the world as a place without them. So you need to see other people and get out there. Dont look at every date as a new chance at love, just look at them as a way to get your mojo back.

The four steps will have you over your relationship breakup in no time flat. But keep in mind; you dont necessarily have to get over a break up. Sometimes good relationships fall apart for the wrong reasons, and you can fix the damage. You just need to find the right plan.
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Openness To Healing Relationships

So many times people will find themselves in a relationship that used to be good, loving, and strong.  But somehow, somewhere, things changed.  Now they want to get that loving relationship back.  The first thing is making sure there is an openness to healing relationships. 

Most relationships that have broken down have done so over a period of time and usually because of hurts, many of which have been small.  These hurts have accumulated over a period of time, though, and now theyve taken on a life of their own. Over time we tend to shut ourselves off from our partner because we dont want to be hurt anymore.  Once that happens you will need to make sure you can open up again and attempt to heal the relationship.   Before you decide that you are going to fix your broken relationship you have to make sure that you are willing to open yourself up to the possibility of more hurt.

And, its not just about you either.  Is your partner willing to open up and work on the relationship?  Many times one partner is more interested in salvaging the relationship than another.  If thats the case and your partner has made it clear, either by what theyve said or their overall attitude, that they have no interest in working very hard to save the relationship, you might as well call it quits. You cant do it all yourself and you cant force your partner to try.

If, on the other hand, you both agree that you will try to work on the relationship the first thing youll both need to do is look at yourselves.  You need to look at yourself and your partner needs to look at themselves. You are trying to honestly figure out what part youve played in the breakdown of the relationship and whether or not you will be committed to making the changes necessary to fix it.  Again, both of you have to admit their part in the break down of the relationship as well as be willing to try to change their behavior.
After all that the next thing you will both need to do is talk to each other.  This doesnt mean yelling, intimidating, or getting mad.  It means and open, adult discussion about how you are feeling.  You each have to be able to honestly speak your mind and explain what you think has happened, how you think it can be fixed, what you are willing to do to help fix it, and how you are feeling overall.

This step is vitally important and potentially very dangerous.  This is the part where someone could get hurt feelings and that could lead to a big blowout.  In order for this to work, its crucial that you both give the other person time to talk, and not get mad or defensive about what they have to say.

If you are sure you and your partner really have an openness to healing relationships, and youre wiling to work on the steps Ive listed here than the two of you will have a real shot at getting back to a place in your relationship where you can be happy to be together, and happy to be back to normal.
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