Picture this, it is 10th grade the girl who was your dream going out with many different guys and you still love her. You might say, "WTF do i do to date this girl again." I didnt go out with anyone else until this point in my life other than her and she has gone out with like 6 guys after me. I honestly just couldnt move on from her in 10th.
I never really talked to her from 8th-9th but in the beginning in 10th we had long awkward convo while we were sitting in a free track talking about the dumb things i did in 7th. She said, "If i didnt screw up so much, we would still be together." I was stunned. A light bulb lit up in my head.
I started talking to one of her friends who was also my friend for a while in high school and she gave me some advice, "Go talk to her and apologize for what you have done in the past." Confidence is the key to success in this situation.
I texted her and asked her if i could talk to her at lunch and this really secluded area on the campus where all these nice trees/flowers. I told her, "Ever since you told me that we would still be together, i have been thinking about a lot of things. I was thinking that i was not good enough for u so i did those stupid things. I still have mixed feelings and care about you still." She interupted me and said, "Hey its fine if you dont want to tell me more about the feelings. Just lemme know if you wanna talk again."
I dont remember the whole convo cause now i am 2nd year in college but that was the main stuff i remembered. After 3-4 weeks of waiting for to text me i realized that i was the one who had to confront her and talk to her again. I texted her again, "Hey are you busy tomorrow at lunch. Maybe we can talk again at that place." She said, "Yea sure ."
It was the night before i was going to talk to her and at this point i couldnt sleep. I was going over the different possibilities of her reaction to, "I love you."
1. "Do i know you"
2. "You just pissed your pants"
3. "You gotta be joking me"
4. "...Umm okay..."
5. the best answer "I love you too!!"
Believe me those 4 classes before i had to talk to her went so slowly. I was contemplating what to say. I finally met up with her at this table when she was talking to her friends and i said, "You want to talk now" I led her to the secluded area again and told her, "I wish that I could have had the golden opportunity to ask you out for the 1st time in 10th other than 7th cause i am much more mature now."
she smiled a little and turned a little red and said, "Okay... so what are you trying to say." I said, "I cant hide this anymore. I love you. I dont know if you feel the same but I cant get over you. It has been about 2-3 years but i am still in love with you and I want to have another chance."
She looked away from me for a second without saying anything, "I feel the same way but i never had the guts to tell you. I thought that finding other guys would make me feel more secure and happier after our painful break up."
I turned away and smiled and then i gained my composure again and said, "Will you go out with me." She said, "Yes" and hugged me.
We went out for about 2 years after that and then broke up before i could ask her to prom... Well that is my middle and high school social life. Hope you have learned something from my rant.
-Robin
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