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Its your worst nightmare. Not only did you suffer a horrific break up and spend the past few weeks fluctuating between sobbing and throwing things at your wall/TV/computer, but now your ex has gone and found someone new. How in the world are you supposed to see him around town and smile happily at him and his new beau?
Aside from relocation to another country (which is super inconvenient), here are some tips on how to be happy for your ex once he finds someone new:
Aside from relocation to another country (which is super inconvenient), here are some tips on how to be happy for your ex once he finds someone new:
Simple and Complete Avoidance (at the very least, in person)
The easiest way to be happy for your ex is from a distance. If youre not in the same vicinity, you can put on your veil of "Good for you, I dont care", without having to stare him straight in the eyes and attempt to fake an emotionless expression when he tells you hes moved on to someone new. Even a phone conversation is better than seeing him in person. The further the distance away from him, the easier it will be for you to move on and one day not want to trip his new girlfriend when shes walking down the stairs wearing 5 inch heels.
Bad at avoiding people? Here are some suggestions on where to start:
- Change grocery stores, banks, dry cleaners, coffee shops, anywhere you think your ex might show up. Its these pesky every day locations that you end up running into people you dont want to see.
- Check his Facebook/Twitter/etc. if you know youre going somewhere he likes to go (i.e. bar, club, other fun outing type place). This sounds stalkerish, but you can avoid an awkward encounter if you see that hes planning an outing to said place on the same night youre planning on being there. If his profile is private and you cant see it, find a friend of his who has a public profile. Its amazing what you can find...Im not the only one whos noticed this, right? Im not an internet stalker, I swear.
- Wear a wig. Get glasses. Change everything about your appearance so he wont recognize you. Ok Im kidding. That would be crazy.
Bad at avoiding people? Here are some suggestions on where to start:
- Change grocery stores, banks, dry cleaners, coffee shops, anywhere you think your ex might show up. Its these pesky every day locations that you end up running into people you dont want to see.
- Check his Facebook/Twitter/etc. if you know youre going somewhere he likes to go (i.e. bar, club, other fun outing type place). This sounds stalkerish, but you can avoid an awkward encounter if you see that hes planning an outing to said place on the same night youre planning on being there. If his profile is private and you cant see it, find a friend of his who has a public profile. Its amazing what you can find...Im not the only one whos noticed this, right? Im not an internet stalker, I swear.
- Wear a wig. Get glasses. Change everything about your appearance so he wont recognize you. Ok Im kidding. That would be crazy.
"Fake It Til You Make It"
If these techniques havent worked and you end up running into your ex, fake it. "Fake it til you make it" usually refers to your future fabulous career, but it can be used in various situations, such as how you feel about yourself, and being happy for your ex. Pretend that youre happy for him, put on your best brave face, and one day youll find that you dont have to pretend anymore. This sounds silly, but it actually works.
Avoid his Facebook/Twitter/social media anything
Looking at his Facebook/Twitter/blog/whatever will only make matters worse. Dont torture yourself by scanning for pictures of your ex and his new girl or finding someone whos friends with her on Facebook so you can see what your ex writes on her wall. If you really want to be happy for your ex, youve got to let go of the past. And its impossible to do that when youre intertwined with your exs future with his new girl.
Find Someone New Yourself
Living well is the best revenge. Its one of my favorite sayings, and its also 100% true. Start dating again yourself (but only when youre ready). Dont rush into a new relationship--find somebody cute and have a few fun dates. If youre concentrating on a new someone, itll be easier to be happy for your ex and his new beau...or even better, not worry about what hes doing at all.
The Focus is Moving On, Not What Hes Doing
This is the most important part. Keep most of your focus on yourself and make yourself happy. It doesnt matter what hes doing in the long run or who hes dating. Hes ex, remember? Move on with your life day by day, until your life is uber fabulous again and youre not thinking about him anymore.
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