How to deal with a psycho ex girlfriend

"Dont ever ask him a question again, or Ill be more than just not happy." This was the implied text message threat I received, when I simply texted a male acquaintance a question about his friend. Of course, his girlfriend just had to answer for him, and became upset, upon discovering I was a female communicating with her boyfriend. And all I did was ask a question. And thats it? Well, then I thought, okay, if his girlfriend is answering his cell phone messages and controlling who he talks to, then Im not the problem here. While Im only an innocent bystander in this situation, I cant imagine what you boyfriends have to go through...in the case of the psycho ex-girlfriend!

Most people would tell you to walk away, cut all contact - only to discover that it only makes the psycho chica even angrier! She becomes suspicious, and might investigate - *ahem* stalk - you, until she finds out the so-called scandalous little secret youre hiding from her. So, in this situation, the only thing you can do is ask a girl for advice. Why? Because I am a girl, and I know how our minds work. (Just make sure your ex GF isnt reading this...)

1. Remove All Evidence

First of all, if you dont want her to snoop through your belongings, then dont give her any belongings to snoop. Make time for yourself (maybe the bathroom is the only chance you have) to delete all text messages, calls, voicemail, emails, etc. that would arouse her unnecessary paranoia. Never give out or type your password when shes around (she might be watching your hands), and add her to your limited profile on Facebook, if she doesnt have any friends who can access your full profile (either that, or block/put everyone on a limited profile, get off Facebook, or dont accept any friend requests from people you dont know that might be her in disguise). Dont let her search documents on your computer; she might be searching for an IP address or files to incriminate you. Make sure your phone bill or credit card information remains confidential, so she cant track your records of where youve been, and what youve (possibly) done. That reminds me - whatever you do, make sure she doesnt buy a GPS system....

2. Dont Be A Peeping Tom

When youre talking to her face-to-face, resist the temptation to look at attractive women. I know, its hard - its natural and needed for your eyes to move - but even if you try to peek at a woman subtly, she will notice the lustful tint in your eye that may be impossible to control. And other body language speaks, too. The only way you can sneak these in is if you can guarantee something to distract her for a long enough period of time ("Oh my god, its Zac Efron!" Hmm...What about, "Oh look, isnt that your best friends boyfriend kissing another woman?" Ding!)

3. Bros Before "Hos"

Also, try to only restrict her contact with a few of your friends (and not the blabbermouth ones!) The more of your friends she knows, the more sources she can use to hunt you down (house=not good)! Is she attached to you, like a siamese twin is to her sister? Talk about disgusting places or things typically men would understand - perhaps member inquiries, business meetings, house league football games... Hey, you dont want to hear about our periods, right?

4. Symptoms of A Psycho

Now, sometimes, its hard to recognize the controlling, possessive, jealous, crazy girlfriend prototype, when you just met or started dating her. Here are a few warning signs:

a) She already memorizes or adjusts your schedule for you. (Youre a person; you have a right to privacy, you know. Eating, sleeping...)

b) She seems to turn up everywhere you are, even if you didnt make any plans meeting with her.

c) Shes a very insecure, needy person (this is why shes always questioning you; she doubts that anyone could commit to someone like her. In other words, she has low self-esteem). You can try complimenting her and showering her with gifts to make her feel important, but if shes extremely desperate or lacking in confidence, this might render a hopeless remedy.

d) She constantly contacts you, in any shape or form. (Beware of her emergency reasons for messaging you i.e. homework, health, family; it could just be a trap).

e) When youre together, she wont let go of your hand, or initiate PDA in front of people, especially girls. If she refuses to let you out of her sight, she wants you all to herself, because, psychologically, she might feel she has nothing without you. But, dont allow her to manipulate your vulnerability to her emotions. Shell keep on repeating it, in hopes of fulfilling the void in her heart that keeps on re-appearing.

And thats all I can say. Some "psycho" (ex) girlfriends dont display any of these symptoms - until the very last minute you "betray" them, and then they plot revenge, when you least expect it. Theyre that good at playing their game. Just dont give out your number or address to a girl you dont know, because if you do, just remember - she knows where you live...
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How to forget about your ex girlfriend

You went through all the motions of a breakup, from the lonely evenings alone to the drunken nights out with the guys, and youre ready to begin a new relationship with a woman youve been eyeing for a while. But youre wondering how to go about forgetting your ex completely so that you can start this new relationship from a fresh perspective. Read on for the 10 steps you should take to do just that.

1- Accept reality: Shes gone

 

This first step may take longer for some than for others, depending on how serious the relationship was. Obviously, if you were living with your ex, youll have a harder time accepting the breakup than if you only dated seriously for a few months.

The sooner you accept the reality that she is not coming back, the sooner you can begin to move on with your new love. So stop that little voice from telling you that shes going to "come to her senses" and call you.

2- Clear your head

 

I dont mean for this to sound "self-help-y" or anything, but you have to let go of the anger and hurt that youre feeling about your past relationship. If you dont, you will just drag it into the new relationship, which can spell disaster.

For instance, you may misinterpret your new girlfriends behavior because of the ways in which your ex reacted. Or you may take out your latent anger toward your ex on your new lady. Avoid this by just letting those feelings go and starting fresh.

3- Learn from your mistakes

 

Once youve gotten rid of the negative emotions, you can begin to view your past relationship as a learning experience. Think about why you broke up and the reasons you were incompatible.

By taking this extra step, you will ensure that you dont repeat the same mistakes that eventually led to your breakup, and youll be that much closer to discovering the traits that really matter to you in a mate.

4- Talk to your new girlfriend

 

Although this may seem counterintuitive, it is a good idea to talk to your new girlfriend about your ex. That way, she will understand where youre coming from and she wont misinterpret anything you do or say.

However, dont go on ad nauseum about her because this will probably scare your new girl away, and then youll have to start this list of steps all over again.

5- Cut off contact with her

 

The general consensus among people Ive talked to seems to be that exes cant ever "just be friends." Although the optimists among us like to think that its possible to retain a friendship with their ex, the realists know that this is just not going to happen. There are always unresolved issues that cause former lovers to act in strange ways.

The faster you accept this as a truth, the better off youll be. So stop calling her and showing up where you know shell be, and focus your attention on your new girlfriend.

6- Put her picture away

 

While youre at it, collect all the memorabilia of your past relationship, such as pictures, letters, clothing, and any other trinkets that you amassed, and throw them out. If youre the type of person that never throws anything away, put everything in a box, close it and stash it in a closet or storage space.

7- Find a new favorite spot

 

Try not to take your new flame to the same restaurants and clubs you went to with your ex, as this will only bring up memories of your times together and cause you to waste your energy thinking about her instead of your new girlfriend.

The best thing to do is find a new restaurant or fun spot that neither of you has ever been to before and experience it for the first time together. Who knows, it may even become "your place."

8- Introduce your new girlfriend to friends and family

 

Introducing your new lady to your friends and family will help you move on. When they begin to think of the two of you as a couple and forget about the woman you used to be with, it will be that much easier for you to do the same.

9- Dont compare

 

Do not compare your new girlfriend to your ex in any way, shape or form. Period.

10- Appreciate your new girlfriends uniqueness

 

Instead, focus on what makes your new girlfriend unique. How is she special? What does she do that no one else can do? By answering these questions, you will be able to zone in on the qualities you love about her and appreciate them all the more.

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Depression And How To Deal With It

By Jane Sullivan Daniels

Everyone goes through tough times in their lives and some people deal with it better than others. Whereas some people take it in their stride and move forward with their lives, others cant get past it and spiral into depression. People who are psychologically weak generally have trouble getting out of depression once they are in it, especially if it is allowed to develop. Dealing with depression in the early stages is the best way of making a person feel better.

All of us do get depressed sometime or the other, but for some people, depending on what has happened to them, dealing with depression becomes impossible. They just get engulfed into a negative thought process just like a man losing himself in quick sand. Yes, this is indeed dangerous and people who are mentally unequipped do go into a state of shock which could lead to a physical problem like coma.

Many doctors have said that people who are suffering from depression should spend time around people who tend to take life in their stride and whore generally light hearted about things. However a lot of the time, trying to deal with depression can leave people seeking solitude and people are usually completely unaware of any way to get themselves out of the spiral. There are lots of reasons why people get depressed.

When somebody loses a loved one, he or she may get into depression. But this could lead to be chronic if people dont return to normality from this state in the early stages. Dealing with depression in such situations needs to be done with utmost care, understanding and love. Sometimes, these depressive states could change their personality altogether.

If a personality exhibits hesitation, an expressionless face, silence or negative thinking, they could all be grouped under the symptoms of person entering depression. Dealing with depression requires a lot of self awareness. A person himself could come out of it without help from anybody assuming he knows what to do. When a depressed person feels that he has to overcome this overwhelming negative emotion in him, he automatically switches to doing and seeing more positive things. This self reliant way of dealing with depression needs a lot of courage and will power, otherwise a psychologist or doctor must be consulted. - 30535

About the Author:

For more information on combating depression please visit theministryofinspiration.com by clicking broadband consciousness or NLP training

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How to deal with your boyfriends ex girlfriend

There’s nothing quite like the first bloom of love. Even the simple act of him buying you a diet coke and a box of Milk Duds at the cinema makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs: ”SET THE DATE! SET THE DATE!”.

You meet his friends, spend weekends doing romantic things like have picnics in the park and may even be so infatuated that you do something as horrifying as massage each other’s hands on the subway while gazing into each other’s eyes. Basically, you make everyone around you feel slightly nauseated, much like the feeling they get after eating some bad shellfish down at the local taco shack.

You’re shameless in your public displays of affection. He’s the one, right? There isn’t much that can rain on your parade as much as an ex-girlfriend that’s still in his life. But what if she’s a very good friend and always seems to be around? There are ways to cope that don’t involve voodoo dolls, intermediate-level internet stalking and generally behaving like a loose screw.

How you feel about his close relationship with his ex-girlfriend depends on many factors. You may be fine with it if you also still hang out with your ex-boyfriend and call him “homeslice” while high-fiving him over jello shots down at the pub. If you have a lot of close male friends, you also might be perfectly fine with him still being close with his ex. Things get more complicated if you’re a girl’s girl - you only have close female friends and your own ex-boyfriends are relegated to the same compartment of your life reserved for bad perms and the time you were thrown out of the karaoke bar for disorderly behaviour. Dark memories indeed.

It’s not that  all of your relationships ended badly or you have any ill-will towards your exes - you just believe that old boyfriends should stay in the past. Nothing wrong with being friendly but in all senses of the word - they are not a part of your life. In the classic 1980s romantic comedy, When Harry Met Sally,  Billy Crystal asks - can men and women really be just friends?  Particularly if they used to date? Despite your own views about this, it’s important to keep your cool if you find yourself in the awkward situation of having to socialize with your new boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend.

Do not freak out

It may sound obvious when I say this but it’s very easy to fly off the handle when he first brings her up or brings up the idea of you two meeting each other. No matter what, try and keep your cool and act like a mature adult about it. One meeting won’t kill you and you never know, she might be nice! It certainly doesn’t mean you have to be friends with her. Just do whatever you can to be yourself and not over the top. Don’t act super fake, just be normal. You don’t have to be cool with it but if she is a genuinely nice person who is a part of your boyfriend’s life, you might have to just accept this or move on. If she’s not a nice person, that’s an entirely different story.

Even if the meeting doesn’t go well, keep your cool!

What if you met her and she was openly rude to you? Try not to get angry. This might actually be a good thing. If the whole situation made you uncomfortable in the first place, this might be a good way for your boyfriend to see that there is something wrong here. It’s impossible to generalize but if his ex is rude to you then something is obviously amiss. If there was nothing between them, she should be able to at least be civil to you. If she’s a good friend to your ex, she would make the effort to be friendly right? In the face of the cold shoulder she gives to you, just continue to act normal and do not stoop to the same level. Be polite, smile and go on your merry way. At the end of the day, it’s not your problem if she has any kind of issue with you.. And your boyfriend should question why she can’t bring herself to be civil to you.

Do not internet stalk her

Honestly, the less you know about her the better. It’s not necessary to cyber-stalk, nor is it healthy. Resist the urge to dig around on Facebook or pump any mutual friends for information. Why do you want to know? It really doesn’t make a difference to your situation - if your boyfriend wanted to be with her then he would. You have to trust that he doesn’t and take his word for it sometimes.

The more you know about her, the more of a problem you will have. The more distance you have the easier it will be to see her as a casual acquaintance, someone you might see occasionally but who has zero hold over your current relationship. If you can’t seem to peel your paws off of Facebook stalking then deactivate your account. It’s only a huge problem if you make it into one. Make your feelings about the situation known to your boyfriend and work through it. It’s between you and him and has nothing to do with her.

Be clear about what you’re comfortable with

Dating advice and self-help books seem to be obsessed with telling women to “play it cool”, act non-chalant and be the “cool” girlfriend who doesn’t mind if her boyfriend regularly sleeps over at his ex-girlfriend’s house. This is awful advice and only tries to force women to act like a doormat just to keep a man.

 If your boyfriend is doing things that make you uncomfortable, be vocal about it. Even if to him it’s completely innocent, it doesn’t mean you have to be ok with him going to Mexico with her and their mutual friends. It’s not just about trust, it’s about respect. You don’t have to flip out but just talk about it in a mature way. If you’re not okay with him sleeping over at her house whenever it’s “too late to go home”, make this known immediately. If it makes you uncomfortable that he talks to her about your relationship, don’t be afraid to make this clear. He’s not the right guy for you if doesn’t respect your wishes or finds them unreasonable. Only you know what you’re comfortable with - if you don’t stick to your guns you’ll end up very unhappy in the long run.

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Stress Relief Products What Are Some Products thatll help you Relieve Stress

By Joanne Morton

Stress relief products are a great way to help you relax your mind. The reason for this is because they sooth you in some kind of way or theyre able to focus your attention on them so your mind is taken off other things. This is very important when it comes to helping you relax. You cant relax if your mind is still focused on all the things that are causing you to be stressed in the first place.

To help you get the ball rolling their are many different stress relief products you can use. I will show you a few of thema nd explain their uses in this article. Dont forget and stress relief does not have to be a product, it can be anything that helps you relax and ease your mind.

Aroma Therapy Candles

For those who have a hard time focusing these are excellent to use. You can find these candles in many different forms and in all kinds of different stores. Use them while you are doing something like meditating, and be sure to choose a scent you really like. People are concentrating on the smell so much, this really works. you will loose sight of all your worries and just concentrate on the smell of the candle. While relaxing your muscles in a luke warm bath you can light them too.

Soothing music

Soothing music will help you to relax in ways you cant begin to imagine. This is because youll be able to find music to fit many different moods. Music works in various ways, and youll be able to use whatever music puts you in a relaxing mood. Here are some different types of music you can use to get started. See which one you like best and then use them in your relaxation sessions.

Motivational music

A hypnotic recording

Background music such as the ocean or birds chirping

Soothing sounds like a whale

These are all great; you can also use one of your favorite songs from child hood. This way you may experience some of the feelings you felt when you were that age and this will help you to relax even more.

A tension device

You can use a tension device to help get rid of stress. These have been known to be good stress relief products and you can find different kinds. All you have to do is squeeze them in a certain way, the purpose is to help you relax and get rid of tension by focusing your energy. This has been as great treatment for people with anger management issues as well.

You will want to look for many other stress relief products. This was just a little list of whats available. Feel free to try one of the ones I listed. But know there are many more complex stress relief products out there that might be able to do a better job for you. - 30535

About the Author:

Want to find out more about natural stress relief , then visit Joanne Mortons site on how to choose the best stress relief products for your needs.

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How to evict ex girlfriend

Q: I unwisely moved in with my now ex-boyfriend. I am not on the lease, although I have been contributing to rent and bills. The relationship has soured and now he has told me that he wants me out in three days. Can he do this? Do I have any legal recourse? –Miko W.

A: There’s a practical answer to your question, and a legal one. Both are rather unsatisfactory, unfortunately. Let’s look at the law first.

Technically speaking, you are either a co-tenant with your ex, or a subtenant of your ex. You may be a co-tenant if the landlord knew and accepted your living there, regardless of the fact that you have not been formally added to the lease (that is, in spite of your not having signed the lease).

That you did not directly pay rent to the landlord may not matter at all; it’s your "open and accepted" presence on the property as a resident that may give you co-tenant status.

If you’re legally a co-tenant, your ex cannot terminate your tenancy or take legal steps to remove you if you refuse to go. Only landlords can take these steps. Miserable co-tenants can continue to cohabitate indefinitely, each refusing to leave. It’s not a pretty picture.

On the other hand, you may be a subtenant, someone who rents from the tenant (your ex). If this is the case, your ex does indeed have the legal ability to terminate and evict, if you refuse to go.

You’d need to understand how your state defines co-tenants and subtenants to know where you fall. That would probably involve a trip to a lawyer … the last thing you need. Then again, if your ex really thinks that he can enforce a demand that you leave by evicting you, he too will have to get involved with the law (file an eviction lawsuit). 

Whether you’re a co-tenant or a subtenant, if he tries to oust you by indirect means (like locking you out or throwing your things out on the street), he faces big liability for a "self-help eviction," a costly mistake in practically every state.

Your options are really more in the practical realm of things. If you need time to move, consider yourself either a co-tenant or a subtenant, and explain to your ex that, in any case, he cannot get rid of you short of an eviction lawsuit.

And presumably he’s not eager to be hit with a lawsuit. Assure him that demanding that you leave in three days is not reasonable, but that you’ll move at the earliest opportunity.

Q: We have a "no pets" policy at our property, and many of our residents have let us know that they value this policy and chose to live here, in part, because of it. A new resident has asked to add a roommate, whom we approved; then we learned that the new tenant has a companion animal that she says she may keep because she’s disabled.

We’re assuming that she’s legit and that the dog is necessary, but we’re concerned about our other tenants. Now that there’s a dog on the property, will they have grounds to break their leases and move? –Jon C.

A: If your new resident is a person with a disability — someone who has, has a history of, or is regarded as having a physical or mental disability that substantially limits one or more major life activities — you must follow the federal Fair Housing Amendments Act. 

That means, among many other things, changing your rental policies if doing so is necessary to allow that person to live safely and comfortably on your property. A no-pets rule must bend to the request of a person with a disability if that person needs a service or companion animal.

The need for such an animal may be established by a letter from an attending professional, such as a doctor, or from other credible professional sources.

But although you, as the property owner, are subject to the fair housing rules, your other tenants generally are not. In this case, your tenants have a legal right to expect that you’ll maintain a pet-free property — that promise is in the lease, and you know that it played a substantial part in the tenants’ decision to rent from you.

That you are legally required to modify that policy when faced with a legitimate request by a person with a disability does not mean that your other residents must adjust their right, which you gave them in the lease, to live in a pet-free building. 

In other words, you’re not following through with an important rental promise, and that you are legally required to deviate from it will not stop your other renters from the legal remedies they may have — which includes moving out.

But before you begin anticipating large-scale move-outs, consider a reality check. You’re not exactly hosting a pack of wild dogs; in fact, a companion animal that is properly trained will probably be well-behaved. You are on solid ground to insist that your new tenant clean up after the dog, give it regular and appropriate exercise, always keep the dog on a leash, and so on. 

If reasonable rules like this are broken — and certainly if the dog poses a threat to others or substantially disrupts the peace and quiet of your property by nonstop barking — you’d be within your rights to question your obligation to allow the animal to be on the property. 

Although the Fair Housing Amendments Act gives persons with a disability broad rights to keep service or companion animals, these rights are not absolute. Depending on the circumstances, they may have to bend to your legitimate concern that an animal not severely disrupt the ability of others to live in peace, let alone place other tenants at risk.

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How to evict my ex girlfriend

I have heard it many times from a caller who rented a nice apartment and then thought he found a really nice girl. They date and soon he invites her to live in his place, or maybe she just does not leave one day when he goes to work and in fact moves her child in with her into your living room.

If the girl (or boyfriend) has been in your apartment more than 30 days the police WILL NOT help you. You must find relief in Housing Court. In fact, you can get in trouble by locking someone out who can establish they have lived in your apartment for 30 days.

While personally I do not feel this is a fair law, it is on the books and the police know it. There is however PLENTY we can do to get the person out within the law.

In this case, my secretary called the client in to our office to sign a Ten Day Notice to Quit (Licensee). The Notice was then served on the “ex “ in the manner provided and mandated by law. This notice is a prerequisite to being able to file a case in Housing Court of the City of New York.


You should, if it happens to you, not hesitate to call me or any other attorney who can prepare that Notice, have it properly served and represent you in the Holdover case.

I told the caller to look on the bright side, as if he had married the person he could not use Housing Court and would be stuck with a VERY EXPENSIVE divorce battle. Housing Court is much less expensive than a battle in the Supreme Court.

The client was fortunate in that it was he who was on the lease and not the ex girlfriend and equally fortunate in that he had never asked for money for rent and that the ex girlfriend had never paid any rent either. Since there was no relationship of Landlord and Tenant the case went as expected with the client obtaining a Final Judgment of Possession. A Warrant issued to the City Marshal and the ex girlfriend was required to move out.

Be aware that the Housing Court Judges have been known to give generous time for even a freeloader or squatter to move without great regard to the hardship of the tenant of record or the owner of the premises.
One lesson to take to heart is that if you think there will be a problem, consult with an attorney as soon as possible.

We don’t charge for consultations so you have nothing to lose by emailing or calling our office.
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How to deal with ex girlfriend

Here you are, minding your own business, trying to nurture a fledgling relationship when suddenly, you are faced with über Witch (a.k.a. The Ex). Oh, she’s a crafty one, but you’re craftier. Unfortunately, dealing with her might be a reality you can’t avoid. The only time where you’re going to want to make a real effort with the ex is if there are kids around. If not, the witch is fair game. Here’s how to do it and how to and stay sane in the process.

Learn as much as you can. If you know why they broke up, good for you. Get all the facts: was she obsessive, frigid or argumentative? You want to know what caused the break-up. Once you know, make sure your new man knows that you are nothing like her.

Find out why she’s still around. Kids are an obvious reason, but if there is no obvious reason, never trust her motives. Unless she’s happily settled in another relationship, there is always the chance she’ll try to muscle her way in.

Be aware of the “just friends” clause. If they broke up amicably, this could be bad news for you. If she is in the “still friends” category, make sure you’re friendly when your partner is around, and then assess just how friendly she is when you’re alone with her. If she shows her claws in any way, be ready for a future catfight.

Monitor her appearance quota. If you see her once in a blue moon at a larger social function, then breathe a sigh of relief. You may just become friends with her. If she’s one step away from becoming a stalker, it’s time to talk to the man.

Talk to him. Tread carefully. Remember how quietly you had to sneak into the house at three in the morning when you were a teenager. You have to be even more careful here. If you insist that they no longer communicate, you come across as a demanding shrew. If you casually mention that she makes you feel a bit insecure, he’ll probably give you a chuck on the shoulder and tell you that you have nothing to worry about. Find the middle ground.

Avoid badmouthing her. It sucks, especially if she’s a witch, but in all cases, spitefulness makes you look bad. The last thing you want is to help her seem more appealing to your man.

Get rid of photos. Any photos of her should be well-hidden in a dusty photo album, not on the wall. Put photos of yourself around, along with evidence of you. She needs to see who’s in control.

Play interference. Whenever she’s around, be friendlier than he is. Show her that you have absolutely no fear about her. After all, he didn’t break up with you. You are by far the superior product. If she wants all of you to get together for a drink, you respond with, “Not tonight, we have plans for a romantic dinner.” Let her know in no uncertain terms that your relationship is progressing really well. And in no circumstances does she flirt with your man.

Unleash the sex kitten. If he suggests you go to her house for a party, pull out the sex kitten face and get out that lingerie that he loves. If he gets a message from her insisting she needs him to call, distract him by unzipping his pants. If she has any sense, she’ll get the hint.

Set her up. She’s still around? Okay, now it’s time to start setting her up with people, but not close friends. Pick an ex of your own. She needs to get the hint that your man isn’t going to be changing his mind soon. One of the best ways to give that hint is to provide her with a new distraction.

Last resort. Parade your own ex around. One of three things will happen. 1) Your man will get jealous and be open to creating boundaries with the exes. 2) Your man will remain clueless and become good friends with your ex, thus defeating the purpose. 3) Your ex will suddenly become more appealing.

At the end of the day, the ex factor requires patience, cunning, and determination. When your focus becomes all about her, and is no longer on your new relationship, it’s time for some serious reevaluation.
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