One of the main reasons for having a relationship with someone secretly is because you worry what other people will think. Maybe your parents or friends would not approve of this person. You should really stop and consider why they wouldnt approve before having a secret relationship.
Your family and friends really just want whats best for you in most cases. Now and then there are situations where they just want to impose their will on you. But for the most part, theyre looking out for you.
Do they feel the person will hurt you, or doesnt treat you right? Has that person given them reason to think the relationship might not be a good one? If they disapprove on those grounds, you can hardly blame them. In fact, keeping the relationship a secret hints that you might not disagree completely.
It could be that you just dont want to hear their protests. But it also could be that you know theyre not entirely wrong. Otherwise, why not have the relationship out in the open and show them how wrong they are?
If they disapprove of the relationship for reasons that are petty or clearly based on their own issues, then you should ask yourself why youre having a secret relationship at all. Things like thinking that your partner doesnt have enough money or class, for instance, would be no reason to hide the relationship.
You may, out of a desire to not have to hear their complaints. But for such a narrow minded reason, you shouldnt worry about keeping their minds at ease. If they dont like your partners race or even sex, it can be simpler to keep the relationship a secret. But you shouldnt have to unless you really want to.
Why not show them that youre your own person and youre proud of how you feel? By having your relationship out in the open, youre being more true to yourself and your partner. And maybe youll even change their minds about what being a relationship means.
You might even be surprised to find some friends or family members dont feel the same as the rest. Often, if a family or group of friends is against something, like an interracial relationship, you perceive each person as feeling that way.
But it could be there are a few who didnt want to speak up and be different. Dont be too hard on them for not standing up for you and what they believe in. They probably felt outnumbered and didnt want to hear the arguments. And youre in a secret relationship, after all, because you didnt want to have to hear the protests either.
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